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Saturday, March 31, 2012

I Am a Vessel. A Slightly Cracked and Momentarily Unfocused Vessel.


It was at the yoga studio, yesterday, that I was blessed, if you will, with the gift of distraction.  That is, distraction reared its shaggy, diverting head, and I managed to decline.

A yogic victory!

I did, of course, file said distraction away and think about it after class.

You see, when you are in a yoga studio, it is because you truly want nothing more than to focus on movement and breath, to lose the many chattering monkeys that have taken residence in the brain. 

When you are in a yoga studio, mat stretched out afore you, your hair plaited into submission, mind on the hour ahead, one of the last things you need – aside from the realization that the bean burrito was a bad idea – is the groaning newbie next to you.

Look at him over there, vigorously swinging his limbs.  He wants you to know that he played sports as a youth, is ready to beat this next hour into compliance. 

And for the next hour, he grunts.  In a room silent of participant vocalizations outside of steady, exaggerated breathing, he moans.  He mutters “Oh, gosh”.  At one point – no lie – he growls.

Growls.

I allow myself one glance. It is, as it turns out, to be a glance executed at the same time as the woman on the other side of him.  Our eyes meet, widen.  A subtle shake of the head is shared, and we return to our asanas. 

And this is what yoga teaches us, grasshoppers:  The world intrudes, despite our sometimes ardent wish that it would not.  It is up to us to decide if it will affect us.

“Bite me,” the world says.

“Make me,” I say.

30 comments:

vanilla said...

My, you have waxed philosophic. Now, if you would just get that kitchen floor...

(Happy weekend!)

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

There is nothing worse than that annoying pin prick in the sacred bubble of your mind.

jenny_o said...

Snappy comeback to the world, just excellent :)

Leenie said...

Monkeys in the brain, a groaning sweaty guy and a bean burrito. Breathe, breathe!

Daisy said...

Keep breathing!

Well, maybe not too close to the bean burrito.

Pearl said...

He was a test. I both passed and failed. :-)

esbboston said...

He obviously has confused or tried to fuse 'yoga' and 'yo gut'.

My chattering monkeys sometimes suddenly but just a brief momentarily regroup as giggling monkeys.

I must now go water things, like grapes ....

Douglas said...

I would practice yoga but it requires discipline, something I have always avoided. That, and I don't grunt well.

Douglas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laoch of Chicago said...

If entered the rarefied world of yoga no doubt the world would have to make yoga illegal do the karmic damage my poor form would produce.

jabblog said...

Maybe he'll be quiet next week - or not turn up!

tattytiara said...

Yoga would be cooler if they had actual chattering monkeys you could battle into submission. Good job blocking out the grunter!

NotesFromAbroad said...

We just won't discuss the fact that someone very near and very dear to me taught meditation .. to many wonderful illustrious people even ! and I have yet to learn. . for the simple reason that I hear everything clearly and it interferes with my bliss search ..Actually, I find bliss easily enough .. chocolate?

NellieVaughn said...

I practice yoga in the best studio ever. My living room.

esbboston said...

Um, while you are in a cracked condition, I was wondering, do you happen to have a refrigerator that I could borrow? The one in my kitchen ~~died--.

River said...

When my world says bite me, I just shut the door in its face and come here to laugh instead.

Eva Gallant said...

You paint such a vivid picture that I can actually see this guy in my mind's eye!

Lolamouse said...

I'm laughing out loud, which is not very yogic at all. The one who annoys me is the super loud breather who sounds like Darth Vader. Take a decongestant! Or the occasional guy who thinks he's cool in his "I don't need to see that" shorts, ugly sandals, and gnarly toenails. Now that will harsh my mellow big time!

Al Penwasser said...

I think he groaned when he stretched too vigorously. There are some things things that "man" things just can't abide.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hmm, I wonder if the guy has a clue???

And this cracked me up :-)

xo jj

Michelle said...

Darth Vader.
That like Ruth- IRA.
Virginia?
She's with Ada?
That's the Comeaden and Mel Martinez does the gun- running with Root?
And they are not only tying Maine, they have Urediste and Odispa.
So there's a lot of shit going down and not just Starz - Warriors.
With Sir Lancelot- Austria.
And with " Sting".
They got Hesesee- Archesea.
And every Ntechis imaginable.

Murr Brewster said...

I wish I were there trying it with you. I am too embarrassed. I would fold up like a roller pigeon and tumble into my neighbor. There'd be a scene. People would say unkind things about me in a low, meditative voice.

Macy said...

Newbies I can take in yoga class - it's those people with smelly feet I can't rise my mind above...

the walking man said...

You know Pearl, I understand the concept of "the why" of yoga, finding balance and centering, quiet and peace in the soul etc. But you do know that at times a good mental monkey slaughter is just as effective.

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

This is why I do yoga at home... I have enough trouble shutting off my own mind... I rarely successfully do, so having someone else intrude... plus the fear that my body will make an inadvertant noise in front of everyone...YIKES!

R. Jacob said...

I am still thinking about the wonder of washed dishes and folded clothes!

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Pearl, being April 1st, I am sure it was Yogi Bear. He was growling, wasn't he? ":)

Amy said...

Eww. Only excusable if he is really really cute.

That Janie Girl said...

So was it a cute growl? Or ugly growl?

Hmmmm. Now I've got growls on the mind.

Jenn Jilks said...

I love this. This is the reason why I don't exercise or go to classes in public.
I just don't play well with others!
Good on you!