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Saturday, February 25, 2012

DONE DIRT CHEAP! or Hey! Is That the Singer from AC/DC?

Sure it's a repost!  But I like it!  (And I'm working.  Have fun, kids!)

I’m tired of being on the inside of my head. I need a new vantage point.

I want to be inside someone else’s head for a change.

For example, that guy over there. No, not that one. The one at the juke box. Have you been watching this guy?

“My man!” he shouts at the machine. In this case, it appears that George Thoroughgood is this guy’s “man”. One arm up in the air, faux-clutching what may be an imaginary lighter, our man at the juke box sways, enthralled. “B-b-b-b-bad to the bone!” he stutters.

He raises the beer he’s set onto the bar and pulls deeply from it. He belches. “Thazz mah dog,” he says to no one.

The next hour on the jukebox, however, is devoted, it seems, to the mid-80s; and we endure both the musical stylings of AC/DC and its Number One Fan.

“Done dirt cheap!” he bawls.

“Yeah, buddy,” someone at the bar agrees good naturedly. “AC/DC! Dirty Deeds!”

“Done dirt cheap!” yells/agrees our man at the juke box. He wanders over to where I’m sitting and jams an imaginary microphone in my face.

“Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap!” I yell into his fist. The crowd laughs and I raise my beer.

Why not.

Unencumbered by sobriety or, unfortunately, a belt, he returns to the jukebox, clutching at his droopy drawers with one hand and using the other to alternately direct the music pouring out through the speakers or touch the screen to choose what turns out to be more AC/DC songs.

Now, I enjoy AC/DC as much as the next three-chord-strummin’ rock band, but do they have anything else?

A crowd has gathered around him.

What is going on inside that head, I wonder. What time did he start drinking? Is he imagining that the dancing and singing in front of the jukebox is drawing a crowd, not as a drunken spectacle but in admiration? Why doesn’t he own a belt?

Wait – some of these women actually do appear to be admiring him – so what’s going on in their heads?

Hmm. First I want to vacation in his head – and then I want to vacation in one of those women’s heads.

I’ll bet everything looks different from inside there.

25 comments:

Laurel's Quill said...

eeewwwee...I think I was married to that guy once...eeewwweee. But I think he had a belt...and trust me,Pearl, you don't want to be in his head! LOL! Laurel

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Liked it the first time....still made me snicker.

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

I wouldn't mind being inside his head as long as I didn't have to be in those droopy pants.

Joanne said...

Personally, I think the stuff inside those other heads youire considering wouldn't be worth the price of admission. You're doing fine from the outside.

Lizzy said...

Inside some one elses head would be a nice change, would have to be careful though. Therapy can get expensive

jenny_o said...

Kinda empty in there, I'd think :)

fishducky said...

I like the stuff that comes out of YOUR head. You wouldn't want to be inside mine--it's kinda dark in there, anyway....

Al Penwasser said...

Wow, 'Dairy Queen' has certainly loosened its standards.
Old to you, new to me. Funny post.

esbboston said...

Some possible answers to your questions:

What time did he start drinking? The year 1998

Why doesn’t he own a belt? Because he has been drinking since 1998. Money doesn't grow on trees: it's grown mainly on cotton and flax, so Linen and McCottony. I wonder if they are on that juke box?

Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Music sounds better with tequila in Minnesota. Belts are optional. Pearl, where do you get this stuff...":)

Shelly said...

I don't have to worry about anyone wanting to get inside my head. They'd never survive the journey.

esbboston said...

Shelly: that cracked me up laughing, and I understand completely.

Simply Suthern said...

You might wanna carve your initials in there before you check out.

The Elephant's Child said...

I don't think that there would be room in either his head, or those of the women admiring him for a fine free standing brain like yours. And I don't think I would like what would happen if someone tried to squeeze your brain into a corset.

Jo-Anne's Rambling said...

You don't want to be in his head or in my head as today my head has some strange thoughts poping into it. I read something and think what the hell and have to read it again to get it straight I think I will blame the pain I am in for makeing strange things pop into my head......

Brian Miller said...

you might need a shower afterwards...lol

Linda O'Connell said...

The guy wasn't drinking again...more like STILL.

Sioux said...

They say ignorance is bliss...Drunken ignorance is utopia, apparently.

alwaysinthebackrow said...

So, do you think he will leave while you are in there, or do you have to share his head with him? I think there will be plenty of room to share, but it might not be pretty.

I remember the first time I read this, I didn't understand why you'd want to go in there....still don't. If you don't mind, I'll wait for you out here.

On My Soapbox said...

A crowd gathered around him so that they could see free entertainment. ;-)

River said...

Well at least he was a happy drunk, not a violent-looking-for-a-fight-drunk.
I often wonder what's in other people's heads too. I watch what they're doing and think to myself, "What were you thinking"?

Mom of 12 said...

When we were in high school, AC/DC was the EVIL band. I'm not sure how I feel about them now.
Sandy

jabblog said...

I think inside his head might be quite empty - likewise the women, or else so claustrophobic you'd want to scream.

Beach Bum said...

Great post, I gave up trying to figure what goes inside the heads of other long ago.

Down here in South Carolina its like living in Lewis Carroll's Wonderland.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Haha! Love this one, one of my faves of yours.
Done Dirt Cheap!