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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Part II: It’s a Cold Time to be Alone, or Gloves in the Time of Collars-Up

In a move that has stunned Minneapolis neighborhoods, area organization Gloves Without Partners has congregated in what many perceive to be the first real indication of spring.

The gathering of single gloves began as a way of reconnecting.

“It was sad, really,” mumbled an un-named ski glove. “Here we’d been instrumental in keeping a hand warm and suddenly we’re on the streets, being pushed around by snow plows.”

“I’d lost hope,” opined a glove identified only as “Rightie”. “One minute I’m part of a team, you know, watching our bus-riding overlord force my partner “Stinky” to pick up litter, the next minute we’re falling unnoticed to the curb while she digs through her purse for her bus pass! You can imagine my dismay when she climbed aboard without us. I was lost! Lost!”

Many gloves tell the same story: forgotten on laps and dumped upon standing, left behind at bus stops, fallen from overstuffed bags, they are forced to live on the streets, turning to each other for structure, some resorting to anonymous, one-off hand jobs to provide the protection against the cold that they were designed to provide.

“I spent three days with a homeless man before he, too, lost me,” shudders a cashmere driving glove who refuses to give her name. “All I wanted was to do what I was manufactured to do. Is that so wrong? Is it wrong to give warmth? Is it?” It is here that the glove turns away, sobbing.

And now, thanks to the dream of two gloves to be reunited with their mates, those fearful, helpless days are over.

“We’re going to stand up!” shouts one working glove. “We’re saying ‘no more! not while I have fingers!”
In other news, large gatherings of cigarette butts and discarded candy wrappers have gathered just outside of the circle of streetlamp light on the corner of Broadway and Buchanan.

Their spokesman, an empty Yoohoo bottle, hints at big things come the true thaw.


Come back tomorrow for the third and final installment on Rightie and Stinky: A Glove Story.

39 comments:

Shelly said...

Let's hope those gloves rent from their partners don't turn to a life of crime to assuage their pain. That could be kind of frightening...you know, roving gangs of single gloves wreaking havoc on unsuspecting neighborhoods...

R. Jacob said...

Did I just read, what I thought I read, buried deep in the anonymous line not unlike the Da Vinci Code?
Gasp!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Poor sad little gloves waving madly to get our attention. As winter progresses it is not uncommon to see gloves hats and scarves wrapped around fence posts, hanging off bus signs, neatly placed on top of newspaper boxes all scanning the horizon for their lost companions.

Deborah said...

You do make me smile :o)

Pearl said...

Shelly, crime does not come naturally to gloves, but who knows what one will do when the chips are down?

R. Jacob, yes. And sorry. :-)

Delores, makes one sentimental, doesn't it, seeing all the lonely hats and gloves?

Pearl said...

deborah, I aims to please.

The Angry Lurker said...

Funny shit about gloves, you have a talent....

busanalayali said...

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Pearl said...

Angry Lurker, thank you. :-) I do enjoy a good story.

busanalayali, I'm starting to think you're not really reading my stuff. Ya little stinker ya.

Buttons said...

Thanks for the laugh. B

SherilinR said...

you're so silly, pearl. and fanciful. i like that in an adult.
and busanalayali's comment made me laugh, considering the context.

SparkleFarkle said...

*rereads Pearl's blog entry for the third time, then, unable to find the thermometer, puts open palm to Pearl's forehead, before making the announcement official*

You most definitely have cabin fever.

(Not to worry about our Pearlie, folks. Groundhog Day is approachy. But, if you got fingers, keep 'em crossed. You never know when that little top-hatted rodent's shadow will turn on you.)

Get well soon, Pearl. LOL!

R. Jacob said...

actually I liked it!

NotesFromAbroad said...

This is very touching. I hope that this helps with more Awareness of their plight.

jabblog said...

It takes a special mind to see these problems . . .

esbboston said...

It takes a problemed mind to see whats special.

He-he-ha-ha

Somewhere in the distance MJ's single white glove feels a bond.

Pearl said...

Buttons, I'm here for ya, baby.

Sherilin, I am kinda silly, actually. :-) Just kinda.

SparkleFarkle, ah, the cool soothing hand of a fellow midwesterner. :-) Thank you! And hey, if you're heading toward the kitchen, how 'bout a snack?

R., I suspected you did. :-)


Notes from Abroad, If we can save just one glove...

jabblog, my dad's been saying that for years.


esb, I see what ya did there. :-)

Jocelyn said...

The bus-riding overlord makes me laugh a lot. That photo is a scream.

CarrieBoo said...

It's like zombies on ice...

Krissy said...

I can never find my gloves, but that's usually because it's not cold enough here enough to need them very often. Wait.. Don't slap me for that now. :)

http://www.talkativetaurus.com/

Pearl said...

Jocelyn, I know! Do you believe how my own gloves refer to me?!

CarrieBoo, the whole state is zombies on ice.

Krissy, what?! Not what? Not cold enough? I'm sorry -- that doesn't make any sense to me!

JeannetteLS said...

Conspiracies. Everywhere conspiracies.

Just last week, a woman up Boston way was talking about a circle of socks gathered around an empty barrel near Fenway.

There was one tan, leathery old glove there, midst a smaller group. When we got nearer they all lay down,pretending lifelessness.

We knew better, and hurried on, never looking back.

Belle said...

I notice my gloves tend to desert me when I open the car door to get out. I feel they have made their choice and must live with it. Love the photo.

Pearl said...

Jeannette, that was absolutely lovely. :-)

Belle, it's a harsh world in the Great White North!

fishducky said...

Though it IS sad to be without a partner, a single glove is still able to give the world a one finger salute! Mittens, not so much.

Pearl said...

fishducky, don't let a mitten fool you. Subversive little things. You don't know WHAT they're doing in there...

Glen said...

can fingerless gloves join in - or are they outsiders?

Friko said...

I'm really hoping for a happy end. could there not be an office for the re-unification of lost gloves?

Pearl said...

Glen, fingerless gloves have no place in Minnesota, despite looking kind of gnarly in a 80s sort of way.

Friko, :-) It is, after all, a love story.

Sioux said...

I can't wait. Perhaps this love story will end give us some memorable phrase, like "Love means never having to..."?

The Elephant's Child said...

Queue spooky music. I can just see a horror movie starring an unclaimed glove who, in cahoots with a discarded scarf, becomes a strangler.

Gigi said...

After a long, hard day I love coming home to your posts. They never fail to make me laugh out loud - or at least snicker....but usually laugh out loud (and occasionally pee my pants while doing so).

Laoch of Chicago said...

59 degrees on my porch today.

HumorSmith said...

Brilliant title kiddo! I feel so bad for those single gloves. They lead such empty lives and all they need is a helping, um, hand.

BECKY said...

Pearl, I just love your writing, your humor! You are so hilarious. You should be making tons of money, writing for TV sitcoms and/or movies! I'm putting a call in for David Letterman right now. He will either hire you as Head Writer Gal, or tout your brilliance to others who need your help.

River said...

After reading this, I must conclude that my own gloves, pigskin suede with knit lining, must be feeling happy and well loved. I've had them now for 22 years, safely tucking them into pocket or handbag as soon as I take them off, then smoothing them out and placing back in the drawer upon arriving home again. I love my gloves.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

*sigh* I am now knee deep in guilt for all the gloves I have lost..out of pure neglect and often just plain forgetfulness! I've moved but now I am wondering if all my lost gloves (It all began in Kindergarten) will track me down and STRANGLE me! Sheesh..now I can't sleep!!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Talk about goofy! Thanks for the swat, Pearl.
love ya,
xoRobyn

the walking man said...

Wouldn't know about any of this pearl, I don't wear gloves no matter the temperature but I do wear wrist warmers knitted by susan at HERE In her ETSY Store I never lose 'em and don't have to take them off to search for change. If my fingers get cold they got a pocket in my jacket.