Well If I Had to Choose: Pick an Epoch, Any Epoch

If we’ve learned anything from the last four days – and I like to think that I learn something, oh, every four days or so – it is that no week is so long that it will not lead to a Friday.

And what a Friday! Why, for those of us in the U.S., this is a Friday with no Monday! Behold! The elusive extended weekend. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and help yourself to three days of leisure.

Suddenly, the working class is awash in time.

But what does my iPod say about it? Let’s take a peek, shall we?, because everyone knows that its shuffled songs, played during my morning commute, have prophetic qualities.

Shhh. Let’s listen.

Uprising by Muse
Just a Song Before I Go by Crosby Stills & Nash
Love Long Distance by Gossip
The Crunge by Led Zeppelin
Pieces of the People We Love by The Rapture
One for the Team by Tame the Beast
Get a Move On by The Quantic Soul Orchestra

And there you have it. And once I figure out what it means, I’ll be in touch.



You know, I was thinking the other day, and if I were to be forced – and I have no easy ideas on how this could happen, but let’s just run with it for the moment – if I were forced to choose another Period in time, I can tell you for sure that I would avoid the Carboniferous.

I would avoid this even over the one with the stampeding mastodons or the one where you’re chased by flying lizards.

Yep. I'll be steering clear of The Carboniferous Period.

Frankly, I don’t think I could take the weather. Humidly wilting, covered in elephant-sized ferns and two-thirds more oxygen present in the air than we have now: There’s gonna be trouble. Ay yi yi but you’re gonna get a rash.

And the millipedes? Up to lengths of ten feet long? My chest would explode.

I found a millipede in the house once. Three o’clock in the morning, I open the medicine chest and a three-inch dinosaur rears up on the last four of his milli legs and salutes.

I ‘bout had an accident.

Arthropods. I ask you.

So “no”. If pressed, this is where I stand.

If I were to be, for some unforeseeable reason, thrown out of the Neogene, I would not like to land in the Carboniferous Period.