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Thursday, December 22, 2011

And On Still Yet Another Hand, Well, You’ve Got Three Hands Then, Haven’t You?

A re-worked post as I discover myself with too many things on my, if you'll excuse the expression, plate...


On the one hand, I’m glad that there are young men out there secure enough to wear their long hair up in a bun.

On the other hand, I wish they’d stop.

Once again, I am at odds with myself.

One of the coffee-slingers at the Starbucks I frequent has taken to wearing his hair in a bun. There it sits, atop his head, a confusing mass of tucked-in bun-ness. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a big fan of long hair. I’ve dated men with hair longer than my own. But had they shown up with it in a bun – well that just smacks of Mrs. Claus, doesn’t it?

Wait. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s a seasonal affectation. Maybe there’s a movement I don’t know about, trying to bring Kringle fashion back.

Sure. That's it.

And for Easter, little chocolate eggs will drop out of a specially designed chute in his pants.

No. I don’t buy that, and believe me, I buy a lot of the stuff I make up.

I want to ask him, “What’s up with the bun? Braiding too good for ya?”

But no. I won’t. He is young and hip, and I am simply part of the early-morning coffee crush. I am “Venti Bold, room for cream, right?”

Right.

Of course, it is possible that his view of me is as skewed as I’m sure mine is of him. I see a hipster, a man with his hair tucked into a bun, a man at whom I smile as I mentally envision him in a large red velvet dress with tiny wire-rim spectacles; and he sees a middle-aged woman, one of hundreds that line up for delicious, over-priced coffee who feels pressured to leave her change because someone poured her a cup and walked it two feet to the counter…

Great. Now I’m trying to think of ways to freak him out.

The truth is that no one really knows what they are looking at. Perhaps there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for a 20-something U.S. male to be wearing his hair in a bun.

Perhaps the explanation is that it’s none of my business.

Either way, I like a bit of mystery. Loch Ness Monster, the chupacabra, the Kardashians. Who knows what is real anymore? Life is a series of discoveries in varying degrees: I may never know the reason for the bun, and he may never know the reason I grin the way I do when I see him.

I’m okay with that.

44 comments:

Ms Sparrow said...

Don't get me started on the Kardashians! Man-hair-buns pale in comparison to the "ugh" factor of that clan.

vanyelmoon said...

The way of the masses will always elude me. Men with hair buns??? I think I would grin and stare as much as you do.

Merry Christmas!

Tammy

Symdaddy said...

I hesitate to ask but ... what's a Kardashian?

As for hair-buns ... wish I had some I could bun-up!

Douglas said...

When my hair was long (down to the bottom of my shoulder blades), I wore in it a ponytail much of the time. I'd have braided it but that took way too much effort. I would never have thought of putting it up in a bun.

Pearl said...

I must draw the line at men in buns!

Sym, be happy you don't know!!

Pearl said...

Douglas, as crazy as you were, a bun would've just been wrong. :-)

R. Jacob said...

I think it just long hair around food and coffee, that's all. They might have said put it up or cut it!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Maybe if we called it something else??? What is a manly name we would use for a clump of hair? A Whopper? Big Mac? Guy Topper? There has to be something to call it that would make it more palatable.

Pearl said...

R., a pony tail would suffice. Not to mention that I've seen them out and about, particularly in the yoga studio.

Delores, ooooh, good point! Hmm. What WOULD we call a man bun???

Joyful Things said...

I myself wore a bun all through the eighties. Not so much as a fashion statement but more out of necessity as my ears aren't close enough to my head to hold a pen securely. When I wore a bun I could steal easily 10 - 15 pens from my workplace. Handy pen holder when I remembered they were there.
Have a great Christmas Pearl! I love your stories - they brighten my days.

Tom G. said...

Squee!!! I think this was the first post of yours that I ever read. This is a good omen.

I place the Man Bun, with the Man-Pony Tail, the Porn-Stache, the 70's Chest Hair Protuberance, and the 80's Rat-Tail, and the Flat-top in the list of male hairstyle disasters.

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

Man-buns (and pony tails, especially on men otherwise balding) are curious, but the Kardashians are a much bigger mystery and have many times the "ick!" factor!

ThreeOldKeys said...

Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas ... thanks for the year-long gifts of laughter. Your gift? Check with Liza Bean ... I gave her the cash for it.

Hair up on top: maybe after his barista-ing gig he's in a marching band. I knew a kid who put his hair up into a ... fountain? ... for marching band.

Cardassians: I think you might have spelled it wrong ... they are a predatory species that causes much trouble to The Enterprise and DSN. Their home planet is Cardassia Prime.

Glad to be of assistance.

Suldog said...

Crazy thought: Maybe it's a new sort of comb-over? Maybe he's balding and the bun takes hair from both directions and places it over the bald spot?

smalltownme said...

My occasionally long-haired sons have rocked pony tails, but never buns!

Pat Tillett said...

I've seen the buns and it's not a good tren.
Why is it that where ever you are, whichever Starbucks you go into, the SAME EXACT PEOPLE WORK THERE?

Symdaddy said...

Googled the Kardashians!


Jeez!


Only in America, eh?

darlin said...

LOL, the truth about buns and secrets, I LOVE it! This bun thing on men I have yet to see, I lead such a sheltered life living in a Canadian city! ;-)

Have yourself a very Merry Christmas and thank you for normalizing my weird and whacky 40 something world... I can relate all too well!

sage said...

You're always funny. I just wish I could have long enough hair to have it in a bun. Of course, maybe I should grow the sides long and then use that bum to cover that bald spot on top! it'd be better than a flop-over, right?

Pat Tillett said...

"Trend" that is...

The Elephant's Child said...

And hopefully he will never know the reason you grin the way you do when looking at him. Have a good day.

Mandy_Fish said...

Maybe the Man Bun is the new goatee? Or the new Fu-Man-Chu? The new sideburns? I've run out of facial hairstyles.

jenny_o said...

Tom G. - you forgot the mullet - one of the most maligned man-cuts in recent memory.

And with all this talk of man-hair-in-a-bun ... I'm suddenly reminded of Woody Woodpecker.

vanilla said...

I am completely with you. It may be none of my business, but I wish they'd stop.

Daisy said...

Samurai warriors wear buns. :-)

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Pearl! You're lucky - I recently had to discourage my father from wearing his spectacles on a neck-string. And I'm still working on his socks-and-sandles schtick. Hoo boy. Indigo x

Bodacious Boomer said...

Our son and all his friends are hipsters. I gave up trying to understand their personal choices long ago. Life is just too short.

vanilla said...

Indigo, leave Dad alone. His Croakie saves him a lot of time. At our age, who knows? Socks with sandals? Of course. It is only sanitary. Go, Pops!

Gigi said...

I think if I was encountered with a man-bun early in the morning before coffee I'd probably start giggling uncontrollably. It can't possibly be a good look....for any guy.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Ooooh, I haven't had the fortune of encountering a man-bun yet! Over here, the guys do this comb forward thing where more hair products are used than I could ever afford. It has grown on me though-- much quicker than a bun ever could.

Merry Christmas to you!

mshatch said...

I'm guessing he keeps it that way because he has to. Maybe it was either that or a net, you know? I'd sure choose the bun. Then again, I'm not a guy...

5thsister said...

Man buns, hmmmm. How about "Stud muffins?" No, that's already taken. Haven't a clue but agree that it's so terribly wrong. Oh, and whatever you do, DO NOT GOOGLE "MAN BUNS" and DO NOT click on the images. o.O

SparkleFarkle said...

Like Momsy always said, "Better to have a bun on your head than in the oven."

SparkleFarkle said...

What I want to know is what possesses guys to get both ears pierced? (And to top it off, they'll don the biggest clump-style earbobs they can get their hands on.)

Eva Gallant said...

He probably thinks you're a cougar who's hot for him with that grin!

Dr. Cynicism said...

A guy with his hair in a bun? OMG the prophecies of the world ending are TRUE! You totally changed coffee placed, right?

Shelly said...

I like to think I'm still hip in a newly 50 year old kind of way, but I'll never get young guys wearin' a bun (or old guys wearin' a bun, for that matter).

Al said...

Now I am definitely getting a haircut!

River said...

Maybe he's unable to braid and has nobody to do it for him? A bun is easy and quick.

looby said...

There's nothing so uncool as trying to be cool. When I see a man wearing his hair like that, I always think it's an attempt to substitute a hairstyle for having an original thought, or even, at a less demanding intellectual level, a sense of style.

Pat said...

Maybe it's mandatory where he works. I admit to being a bit of a hygiene freak and shriek when chefs on TV shake all the detritus from their long greasy hair into whatever they are mixing. But that's just me.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

I guess we could call it a "ban mun". Still frightens me. Don't even want to TRY to understand it.

danneromero said...

I grew up with a father, his long hair in a ponytail. The bun works well for those hearty soccer players racing around the field..... And on Ashton kutcher :-)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

He's a chef and it keeps the hair out of the food....
Opie on Sons of Anarchy sometimes wears a bun and it always gives me pause.