I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Why Dream When I Can Just Make Things Up?

I rarely dream.  While others recount their dreams to others – sometimes at an uncomfortable level of detail – tales of flying over cities and making naked speeches before Congress and whatnot, I’ve got nothing to say.

At this point, I’ll leave you alone for a moment so as to let the idea of me, speechless, sink in.

The medical community will tell you that I exhibit abnormal brain waves, so perhaps my “dreamer” is broken. 

My mother, after all, claims to have lost her “skip”. 

Then again, while I fully expect that my mother could, at one time, skip, I’ve never been one for remembering my dreams.

Everyone, I am told, dreams; it’s simply a matter of whether or not we remember them.  I’m thinking, however, that if I’m not remembering them, what’s to say I had them in the first place?  Huh?  Answer me that one!

So what’s it all about, Alfie? 

Is it because my conscious life is just so darn fulfilling?

It’s true that I have a fabulous view of downtown Minneapolis – if you lean over and  look right there you can see the garbage incinerator for the whole metropolitan area! 

It’s true that I sometimes leave the house without my cell phone because I live my life on the edge.

It’s even true that I can get the cats to cock their heads at me and then dash out of the room as if late for a meeting simply by playing The Clarinet Polka, which, if memory serves, also works for unwanted visitors and old boyfriends.

The power of the upper register compels you…

Anyway, I still have my “skip”, which I suppose is something, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m missing out by not remembering my dreams. 

42 comments:

Teresa Evangeline said...

I went through three years of no dreaming, or at least, not remembering them, but lately they've come back in full technicolor and with long, involved story lines. I'm not sure yet if this is a good thing...

On the rare occasion that I leave the house without my cell phone, I feel nekkid, then I feel almost risque, then I pray my car doesn't break own.

Happy Day!

jenny_o said...

I would confess to having guffawed at the Clarinet Polka bit, were it not so unladylike to guffaw :)

Have you ever had a sleep test? Aside from the electrodes and the sleeping in a lab, I think it would be interesting, just like having an MRI if one didn't really need it, just to see one's brain light up.

R. Jacob said...

I am lost in thought about you making naked speeches before Congress and I started to dream...getting sleepy...

Denise said...

I have what they call vivid dreams and sleep paralysis, for as long as I can remember. I can even recount nightmares I've had as a very young child.

I feel for your Mom, I lost my skip too. I had a hard time finding it, in the first place. I'm the only one I know that had Gym homework. It's all very traumatic. I don't like to talk about it much.

Ps. I left a message for you on my post today.

Pearl said...

Teresa, leaving the house without your phone does seem pretty nerve-y, doesn't it?!

jenny_o, I actually had both a CAT and an MRI done a while back. Hard to believe, but: abnormal brain waves! True...

R. Jacob, it's not nap time just yet!!

Denise, my mother will be gratified to know she's not alone. :-) (On my way over!)

laughingmom said...

Oh Pearl, I totally get this as I have never remembered my dreams. I used to make them up when I was a kid and thought that there was something wrong with me. The problem I have with this now is that I feel no passage of time when I sleep so I never know if it's been 5 minutes or 5 hours.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Who's to say that what you think is your dream life is reality and what you think is reality is actually your dream life? If that's the case, you've got one HECK of a dream life girl.

Pearl said...

laughingmom, hey, I'm lucky if I don't wake up at 4:40 when the alarm goes off at 5:20!! Now what am I supposed to do with THAT?! :-)

Delores, my reality could use a little spice, frankly. Or guacamole. I'd settle for guac.

Eva Gallant said...

I don't find the abnormal dream waves surprising at all! It's that fiendishly creative mind of yours. And not remembering dreams? Probably Liza Bean Bitey steals the memories!

Pearl said...

Eva, ooooh. Good point!

Sush said...

I just love the fact you don't need to dream when you can make things up! I burst out laughing at that part...! I do dream and dream I'm flying sometimes. I have no idea what any of it means...other than I must've eaten something crazy too late or been exhausted!

Hugs~

C... said...

I seldom remember any dreams. I think I remember 1 or 2 a year and forget them nearly as soon as I wake up.

Pearl said...

Sush, I've heard that the flying dreams are like the gold standard of dreaming. I do remember dreaming as a child of the same village, over and over, and I could run/jump huge areas at once, but I've never flown. :-)

C, I think that's how a lot of people are. Don't ya kinda wonder what your brain is up to while you're asleep, though? I'm worried about mine...

Jayne Martin said...

I have dreams, but like much of my waking life they make no sense whatsoever.

Glen said...

I dreamt once about an albino woman who sat in my bathroom staring at me while I was trying to have a poo. It was really uncomfortable, she point blank refused to leave.
The problem was that I see that woman every morning taking her kids to school and I just couldn't look at her in the same way after that, for ages!

No, you aren't missing anything

Dr Zibbs said...

I dream ALL thee time. Last night I dreamnt there were dogs chasing a seal through my neighborhood and the Saint Bernard stopped to talk to me.

vanilla said...

Doesn't one of the pharmas run a drug ad stating one of the side-effects may be dreams you don't remember?

How does one know he had a dream he doesn't remember, and to whom would he report it? Why?

Pearl said...

Jayne, I think there's a whole 'nother post in that statement...

Glen, hmm. :-) Your brain is quite remarkable, isn't it?

Dr Zibbs, didn't we used to date?!

vanilla, not sure, but I used to take a pain killer whose side effect as "vivid dreams", ie horrible, bloody nightmares. At least THOSE I remembered!

The Elephant's Child said...

I very rarely dream (to remember) and when I do it is in conversations. The sort of conversations I eavesdrop on while riding a bus. Or perhaps I am just remembering those conversations ....

Esther Montgomery said...

Not a lot! I sometimes remember dreams, sometimes not - but they aren't much use either way. (Mine, that is.) On the other hand, I'm making things up more or less all the time, whether in company or not. Much more interesting. Much more under my control. (In so far as my imagination is under my control, which it isn't quite!)

Macy said...

Yep Pearl, could be you're just living the dream already....Me, I never dream either, which is obviously because the dream is just so knackering in my case...

bill lisleman said...

the gift of your writing shows that you don't really need to remember your dreams. I suspect your dreams are so abstract and weird that they defy description so you really can't remember them. Now put that Clarinet away or I'm leaving.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You're probably better off. If you show up naked before of Congress, they'd likely follow suit. Imagine that nightmare.
xoRobyn

Gary Baker said...

'Ya snooze, ya lose' is inaccurate in my case. I snooze, I dream. Try snoozing ... Damn. I've said snooze too often. Sounds weird now: snooze, snooze, snooze. Drat!

Joshua said...

It is rare that I remember my dreams, but probably because I don't ever get into a deep enough sleep to actually dream. Is that your deal?

Nessa Roo said...

I've got your dreams. I've been dreaming them for you, and I'm not giving them back. They make excellent writing material, and people sit and listen to me with fierce intensity when I relay them at lunchtime.
I also have your nightmares.
You can have those back anytime.

Susan in the Boonies said...

What? I was there! Last night! In your dreams!

I waved. You waved back.

You don't remember???

Now that I know you'll never remember...just wait till next time...

Cloudia said...

isn't THIS a dream?!


Aloha from Honolulu

Comfort Spiral

> < } } ( ° >

><}}(°>

< ° ) } } > <

NotesFromAbroad said...

I have always dreamt vivid dreams in Technicolor and remember most of them .. some people used to doubt me.. they learned their lesson.
But lately I have a complaint .. I have not been dreaming much at all and I have not dreamt on Pup once .. and I want to ..

Bodacious Boomer said...

OK, I know I'm as old as the pyramids; but WTF is losing your skip? Is that like dropping your basket?

fishducky said...

Today I'd like to comment on 3 of your commenters:

1--MY BABY JOHN/DELORES--What if THIS is the dream? Sounds like The Twilight Zone--SCARY!!

2--VANILLA--That's like at the airport when they ask if anyone has put anything in your luggage without your knowledge--how would you know?

3--MICHELLE--I have nothing against foreigners--mu son in law is Italian & I love him dearly--but what language are you speaking????????

Ricky Shambles said...

Lack of dreaming isn't all bad. In the last week I've dreamt that my 4yo niece was dead (and my father charged with wrongful death), I was in a hotel on the coast when tsunamis hit, and I stabbed someone to death - none of which could happen. Occasionally I get to fly and there's the sometimes lucid dream, but it's not all buttercream and cherries.

alwaysinthebackrow said...

When you wake up from all of this, it will have only been a dream.
Kinda like Dallas.

IndigoWrath said...

The cats steal your dreams. Why? They sell them on the black market. Ever woken up feeling all muzzy headed and seeing the two of them counting out ten-spots? Yeah. True story.

Belle said...

If I were you, I would count myself lucky not to remember dreams. They are rarely a happy event.

HermanTurnip said...

I never considered my dreams "normal". Where people dream of flying, falling, shopping, whatever...I'm dreaming of guiding a sailboat on lakes of spittle on my gums, getting dragged to my doom by lizardmen in the park, and walking the edge of a gigantic crater in my backyard.

See...not normal. Heh...

Far Side of Fifty said...

perhaps it is just as well..I think your dreams would be very vivid!
I have a sleep disorder..so not dreaming would be a good thing for me. I am a vivid dreamer..and it ain't no fun. I am glad you still have your skip..how about the pity do dah?? :)

Crystal Pistol said...

It's just as well. No one cares about anyone else's dreams anyway. (Unless you are a witch, like the women on the Mexican side of my family. We are spooky future diviners...)

But in general when people tell about their dreams in excruciating detail I want to gauge my own eyeballs out.

In addition, you are spared nightmares. I have those regularly. Horrible. Like the other night I dreamed my sister and I were in this old dilapidated hospital and the bad guys had big thick inserted needles into our spines. The evil ones were BLEEDING us! We tried to escape! ...To no avail. I watched us slowly bleeding to death. my mom was there and she WANTED to help but she wouldn't...

See? See how nobody cares about anybody else's dreams?

River said...

Of course you dream. It's just that your waking life is so full and vibrant, your dreams pale in comparison and get forgotten.

Murr Brewster said...

I've been thinking about writing about this. I dream a lot, but I never EVER do anything in my dreams I wouldn't do in real life. Once a decade I have what looks like a promising sex dream and then I turn the person down because I'm married. I am seriously pathetic, asleep.

the walking man said...

There is such a thing as no dreaming REM sleep. *shrug* Studies suggest that dreams do not detract or enhance waking life.

Pat Tillett said...

I dream all the time. Some are nice, some are fun, and some are downright scary. I like them all. I used to try and write them down and when I did, they usually made no sense...