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Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Kitty Knows All, Tells Only Some

Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers), a long-haired Siamese mix with a penchant for a dripping bathroom faucet and Kool Menthols has taken to dragging a string around the house only to abandon it in order to dash, madly, blindly, from one room to the next.

“Mrrrrrrrowwwwwwww? Mrrrrrrrowwwwwwww?”

She asks a lot of questions, this one. Frankly, if I had four teeth and crossed eyes, I’d have some questions, too.

Of course, the truth is that she’s quite an attractive pussy cat, despite the periodontal challenges she faces. Look at her over there, hunched possessively over her bowl, face-deep in the Meow Mix. Each piece of kibble is picked out carefully, chewed delicately on the side with the most teeth. Crrrrrrunch. Crrrrrrunch. Two “crrrrrrrunch”es per bit, five bits per visit.

Finished for now, she takes cautious aim, jumps up on the stool in the kitchen – and misses.

What can one do? Crossed eyes, you know.

Kitty lacks depth perception.

The string, though. This is new. And like her collection of novelty and commemorative ashtrays, it’s hard to tell what set her off.

Who gave her that first one, the ashtray in the shape of a Spaniard’s helmet?

And where in the world did she get that piece of string?

Oh, really, it doesn’t matter who gave her the string, does it? She grips it, earnestly, twixt her remaining teefers, high-stepping over it as she drags it, tail-like, from one room to another. Her delicate lips part, almost undetectably, as she pauses between rooms.

“Mrrrrrrrowwwwwwww?”

The questions ends in a glissando that runs up the kitty meow-meow scale (in the key of Mouse Flat) as she gives in to the four-pawed urge to tear from one room to the next, skittering around furniture, sliding sideways on the hardwood floor.

I make a note to check her for fleas as Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) sighs heavily and sets down her book, Rutherford’s “Sarum”.

“Really,” she says, eyes closed and massaging the bridge of her nose with one delicate paw. “What is she doing?”

Only one being in the room knows why the kitty races from one room to the next, a bit of string trailing behind her.

And that kitty's not telling.

40 comments:

Glen said...

I'm not sure exactly what shape a Spaniard's helmet is - but it is going to take me a while to stop giggling like a schoolboy about it.

Pearl said...

Glen, it does sound vaguely obscene, doesn't it? :-)

Shelly said...

Our kitty with the crossed eyes, lopsided teeth, and enormously long tail is that way, we think, because of inbreeding, although we'll never know for sure if her heritage is as intertwined as the Ptolemy's. It does make for an interesting cat, though, and it sounds like that's what you have, as well!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

I believe she has achieved her goal....raising questions in the minds of others not string inclined and giving "paws" to the blog writer in the room. Good job Dolly.

Pearl said...

Shelly, that's very funny. I shall now consider her as kitty royalty (of a type).

Delores, ha! Maybe that's it, huh? Dang cat is messing with me?! Why I oughta...

Eva Gallant said...

I love reading about Dolly Liza Bean. Even Mr. Eva enjoys these stories, as he is a long time cat lover!

Dr. Cynicism said...

You know, I think a lot of my students *also* ask similar questions like your cat, especially in the "in the key of Mouse Flat." Love it :-)

Daisy said...

You are so able to create pictures/videos in words! And I always love Ms Lisa Bean and Dolly. :-)

20prospect said...

I often wonder what goes through my dogs minds. They seem to have such an amazing ability to conjure fun out of the most mundane things.

"shoe...shoe...shoe...shoe...shoe..."

"eat...eat...eat...eat...eat..."

"run...run...run...run..."

Joanne said...

All our grown up cats are boy lumps. Sleep in the sunshine, sleep most of the rest of the day and night. Lumps where ever you look at them. The kitten is a half-lumpkin. At six months he still has things to do before he sleeps. With apologies to Tolkien and Frost.

Leenie said...

Don't let those crossed eyes and skittering antics fool you. Dolly Gee is most likely a deep thinker and is contemplating something profound and, probably, sinister.

Akelamalu said...

I can so visualise the kitty with the string!

Thanks for visiting me and taking the time to comment. Nice to meet you. :)

Crystal Pistol said...

I enjoyed how she massages the bridge of her nose with one delicate paw... I am often found doing the same when I am summoning all the patience in the world. :)

alwaysinthebackrow said...

I've tried to read "Sarum"-Liza has my admiration. Perhaps the string was used as a bookmark and stolen by Dolly Gee whilst Liza was engrossed in that epic tome. She would not be likely to finish that book in one sitting.

Ponita in Real Life said...

I reiterate again that Dolly Gee and Lila are twins separated at birth! Lila doesn't even need a string to cause the "mrrrrrooowwwws" as she wanders and then bolts and skitters about. Her aim isn't much better than Dolly's, and she doesn't have crossed eyes to blame for that. ;-)

jenny_o said...

Cats sure are strange people :)

Jocelyn said...

I should've known it would be Liza who reads SARUM. I've never met anyone else who has. Love that Rutherford.

Did you see the part in my post from last week about the kitty who thinks his masturbating owner is trotting out a new toy for kitty amusement? I hate to think what Dolly Gee could do with such bait.

bill lisleman said...

thanks for my new word for the day - glissando
Maybe you should add a can to the string and talk to her.

KaLynn ("MiMi") said...

I firmly believe that cats are here to keep us from getting oldstimers disease! It is always a mental challenge to figure out what they are thinking and doing!

fishducky said...

I've just received--& devoured--I WAS RAISED TO BE A LERT & I have one question: why hasn't everyone else bought it, too? Loved it, Pearl!

Susan in the Boonies said...

Poor crosseyed kitty, missing the stool.
Makes me smile.
The graceful kitty cat image: well...she's not living up to her species's branding, is she?
I have a neurotic German Shepherd, a shame to her bold and courageous forebears. She cowers a lot.

jabblog said...

Some cats are sent to mouse, others to test their human's powers of observation - it sounds as though Dolly Gee and Liza Bean are of the latter persuasion.

Kelley said...

I feel like I could sit down and have a long conversation with that cat where she'd actually talk back to me about her crossed eyes and 4 teeth. Is she open for lunch on Friday?

haphazardlife said...

Dolly Gee will forever remain a mystery to us all.

ducksmahal.com said...

Cute story.

Nezzy said...

Poor crossed eyed baby, jumped for the stool and missed!!! Makes it hard to catch a mouse...huh???

She does sound like a bundle of entertainment for ya though!

God bless and have a most marvelous day!!! :o)

aamedor said...

I have a cat with a missing eye, lost it in a missadventure as a kitten

Silliyak said...

"Mouse Flat", I think to myself That would be a good big Band tune ala "Blues in Hoss Flat" now I have an earworm!

Belle said...

Isn't it funny how she likes to play with a string the way a child will play for hours with the cardboard box? So cute.

Bodacious Boomer said...

Not one of my pack o pooches sounds as interesting as your cat. And for me that's a good thing.

River said...

I think she's looking for the catnip mouse that should be on the end of that string. Liza Bean has probably hidden it somewhere.

Antares Cryptos said...

Dare I say it in public? Loved it! :)

I am familiar with lovable morons, they come in all shapes and patterns.

Cloudia said...

lucky kitty has found JUST the biographer to make of her a STAR! (you, P)


Aloha from Honolulu

Comfort Spiral

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Wow, that was awkward said...

Ahhhhhhchooo!

Sorry, I don't like cats.

Douglas said...

I cannot help but be jealous of you. My cats were weird (as cats are wont to be) but they were pretty much easy to comprehend.

They wanted:

More treats,
food in the bowls,
and to trip me whenever, and wherever, I walked.

HermanTurnip said...

It's when you question where you cat managed to obtain an object that you really need to worry. This is coming from painful experience (Nemesis and "the knife" incident comes straight to mind).

The Elephant's Child said...

Jewel's favourite toy is an acorn shell. She carries it to places of maximum reverberation (the bathroom), she bats it around the kitchen, she wakes me at 2 am to applaud her cleverness. She hides it from Jazz, forgets where she has hidden it and cries till another is produced. A piece of string sounds like a piece of cake.

Argent said...

Maybe it's some kind of performance art. I've had cats that will, for no discernable by humans reason, just sprint around the house then stop and wander off as if nothing's happened. Cats are weird people sometimes.

Pat said...

My mother read Sarum and loved it so I took her to Salisbury for a couple of days.
Unfortunately - and keep it from the cats please - she didn't like cats. At all.

hoodyhoo said...

Must be a no-teeth thing or a crossed-eyes thing -- Callie Jean is also cross-eyed and dentally-challenged and she also does the mad-dash-for-no-reason...