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Sunday, November 27, 2011

I Remember My Mom Saying They Couldn't Take Him Back to the Hospital...

My last official purchase whilst still living at my parents’ house – and the mode by which I left it – was a 1968 Ford Falcon, an old car in great shape.

All it needed was speakers for its intriguing stereo system.

And when I refer to a stereo “system”, let us be clear that the “system” was a radio with a built-in cassette player.

I wasted no time in getting two used speakers at a garage sale.

For two dollars, you just knew they had to be good!

I ran the wires from the radio to the speakers in the back and fell asleep that night with dreams of how I would make this car really cool, maybe dropping the chassis, having my name etched into the glass on the driver’s side window, buying a metal clip with a big feather attached to it for a key chain and similar necessary and perfectly legal things.

When I awoke, however, and went out to drive my new car to my new job, I could not help but notice the number of things that had accumulated in my car overnight.

Sand. Lots of sand. A pair of swim fins. Several empty Budweiser beer cans. A man’s swim trunks. A woman’s bikini top but no bottom.

The mind. She boggles.

There was a note on the front seat from my brother. One year younger than I, he has been the figurative elbow in my ribs since they brought him home from the hospital. Attached to the note was a single dollar bill.

“Hey, Squirrel. Nice car. Ha ha. Nice stereo. You should get another set of used, blown speakers and double your sound quality! Ha ha. Here’s a dollar for you. Buy yourself some gas. Ha ha ha. Your loving brother, Kevin.”

My brother.

He's a funny guy.

30 comments:

Belle said...

I think a dollar bought a few gallons of gas back then didn't it? Very funny! I would have been sooo mad. My sister bought herself a baby-blue Mustang when I was sixteen. She would have killed me if I had so much as touched it.

Esther Montgomery said...

I wonder if anyone has ever set up a 'Rent a Brother' business to as a way of getting financial recompense for all the emotional and practical trauma that having a younger brother entails.

jenny_o said...

Those brothers. Ha ha. Got one myself. Older, not younger, than me. That is just as bad, but in different ways.

Mine has mellowed through the years and is more kindly now. I hope yours has too.

R. Jacob said...

Squirrel?
Another post to explain I am sure. By the way, I found the bikini bottoms by the pool. It said on them, return to Pearl! One could catch cold I am thinking!

Lolamouse said...

Yes, younger brothers. Can't live with them. Can't murder them (unless you're REALLY good and sneaky!)

Hilary said...

Nice! I'll bet he can still make you laugh. And no doubt, vice versa.

Joanne said...

Oh, I can so relate. I had two.

savannah said...

sometimes, it's good to be an only child, sugar! ;) xoxoxox

Lazarus said...

You know brothers are really a blessing Pearl, you just need to complain about them once in a while, like all sisters!

vanilla said...

That's what brothers are for!

The Elephant's Child said...

All my brothers are much older. They did things like this to each other though. Lessons worth learning for the up and coming sister.

nixabn said...

My first one was a 74 Impala with and 8 Track player. Played the hell out of my Dirty Deeds 8 track.

Linda O'Connell said...

Oh brother! What a thing to do to your car. At least he gassed it up. Bet you both laugh about it now.

Eva Gallant said...

I hope you found a way to get even!

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

A typical brotherly thing! How far did a dollar go toward filling the gas tank then? At least he left a note and token payment along with all the sand and other relics of his revelry. By the way, my brother -- who ended my blissful only child reign when I was three-and-a-half -- just told me that he and his wife are expecting a new baby boy in the spring. He was wondering if his two-year-old daughter -- now the center of their universe -- would accept her new brother readily. Please. She just might -- after she gets over her feelings of betrayal and fratricidal musings which, of course, can be ongoing.

Pearl said...

Gasoline, at the time, was around 98 cents a gallon. :-) Those were the days, huh?

Joanna Jenkins said...

Did you tell your brother that payback are a bitch :-)
Hope you had a great fab weekend.
xo jj

Steve Bailey said...

Hahaha! The brother strikes again!!! My brother did something nearly the same.... except that the car was stuck in some mud and we had to tow it out!

Gigi said...

98 cents a gallon....those WERE the days! I mentioned to my son that I remembered when gas was so cheap (yeah, showing my age) and he couldn't believe it. But then again, he had no idea who Roseanne Barr was either - such a babe in the woods.

Yeah, brothers. What are ya gonna do with them?

mapstew said...

Am I having a 'Deja-Vu'? :¬)

SherilinR said...

did you ever ask him what became of the bikini bottom?

HermanTurnip said...

Heh. Reminds me of a used car I bought in Japan while stationed at Misawa. The entire floor was covered an inch deep in peanut shells. No joke.

I have more than a few fond memories of that old junker. *sigh*

Brian Miller said...

and you sanitized the car before or after work...smiles...i got one of those old cars...or had one with similar speakers...

danneromero said...

Brothers. Are they great? And just so funny? I have NINE of them! No joke.

Symdaddy said...

Brothers!

They deserve a good horse-whipping!

I know! I was one!

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Pearl! Shocking behaviour. I hope you nailed his nuts to the garage door and ran into him a few times. Indigo x

River said...

Hey, at least he left you a dollar for gas!
He could have gone the other way and borrowed a dollar....

Amber Star said...

What a guy, huh? He left you with some silly memories for blog fodder, though.

Life Unordinary said...

such a lovely story, do you have the actual handwritten note still with you? You should scan and append it to this post!

Jocelyn said...

In addition to elbow in the ribs, I'd add bamboo under the fingernails for that brother. Glad I'm the baby in my family.