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Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Third Round Involves Answering Using Helium Balloons...

I’ve got a great idea for a game show, one I’ve patterned on my life and the lives of the people around me. I’m quite sure that this is, as we say in Minnesota, a “big wiener”, so we should probably hug and say our good-byes now, as I expect I’ll soon be hounded by TV execs and find myself at parties sipping tiny margaritas out of Johnny Depp’s navel...

I'm sorry. Where was I?

Oh, yes. The game show.

You ready? Here it comes.

The show is called “They Never Saw It Coming”. The premise is that of the people in the room, at least one of them is lying to you – can you tell which one? Each segment of the show has a definite solid clue in it as to what you should do or who you can trust. The whole show lies in observation, with each level or segment taking you to the “center” where you are given a change to win Big Money based on a question that should be answerable from the previous situations/questions.

It starts out easy, of course. All you have to do is observe. Look at that man’s shifty eyes! Why does he seem nervous? And why does that woman laugh at everything you say? You’re not that funny. Check your purse – is your wallet still in it?

So what would be an example of an easy first round?

“Excuse me, ma’am? Do you have fifty cents? My kids are hungry, and I want to take them to McDonald’s.”

Now why is this an easy question?

Because no man should be approaching me to feed his kids, especially at McDonald’s. Offer the man an apple and walk away. Next question.

You’ve received a call from the mechanic working on your car. He needs your credit card as it seems that part of your problem is that you are low on blinker fluid and you’re going to need your head gasket rotated. Oh, and you see that? Under the hood and behind that pulley there? Those reluctors are ready to go out and MAN are they tough to replace. Very sensitive instruments, those.

So what do you do?

If you wish to proceed to the next round, you tell him you’ll be by to pick up your car within the hour. Everyone knows that the problem is with the lug-nut gap. Besides, when's the last time you cleaned your windshield? That's going to affect performance as well.

It’ll take work, of course; but I think I’m on to a winner.

Now who wants to play “They Never Saw It Coming”?

30 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

I'm in! Do I get to tell lies, too?

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

There's been a few times when I never saw it coming. I don't think I'd do too well at this game. Sure fella..here's my credit card.

jabblog said...

I don't think I'd do very well, either - far too trusting;-)

alwaysinthebackrow said...

No one in Minnesota would lie to you. Just give him that credit card. He'll fix 'er up just fine, you betcha.

ducksmahal.com said...

I just had my blinker fluid changed last week. That's expensive. They also asked me for the key to the vapor lock. Since I lost that key apparently they charged me to recode the vapor lock. Dang, I hate getting my car fixed. They also said my thermo-cavity protector was leaking. That's it, I'm just going to let that one break. Who needs a thermo-cavity protector anyways? Somebody needs to protect my thermo-cavity.

As for the game, I'm in. I know right off when someone is bullshitting me by their body language. Their eyes instantly shift to the left.

laughingmom said...

I'm sorry - you lost me in thoughts of Johhny Depp's navel...

Joanne said...

The bs'ers actually look down at your feet. I know; someone explained it to me.

jenny_o said...

When we were kids, I loved to play Cheat - a simple bluffing card game. I won a lot because of my innocence - no one could believe I'd cheat. Now that I'm older, it's not such a great quality. I think it's called being naive, and with it I'd lose your game in the first round.

But hey, I'd love to watch you play!

Bouncin' Barb said...

I think I have played a game very similar to this! It's called, "here comes a woman, let's take advantage of her". Great post Pearl!

mrwriteon said...

Well, as a veteran of two misplaced marriages, I never saw it coming. When pants are down logical reasoning goes out the window. So, I think your game is a winner. Can I be on it, or just stuck in the studio audience?

fishducky said...

I've taken several adult education classes at my local high school, just for fun. The class I--& probably all women--SHOULD have taken is basic auto repair. Then, when the mechanic tells you that your thermonuclear reactors are going out, you can say, "I think it might be the battery fluid. Can you take a look at that?"

Douglas said...

I'm immune. You would be too if you were the youngest in your family.

However, I would get that blinker fluid refilled. And now is the time to put winter air in your tires.

KarenG said...

That show sounds a whole lot more entertaining that a lot of others I've seen on TV. And no annoying celebrities sounds good too.

ipenka said...

Sometimes, it can be so hard to find people you trust. I tend to fall for a lot of what you mentioned.

Last year around Christmas, some guy came to the gas pump with a container. Figured he was lying about car breaking down but ended up buying him a gallon.

Shelly said...

That sounds like the big wiener to me! :)

R. Jacob said...

I think helium should be used by the people asking the questions. If you can fake sincerity with that voice, you should win.

pearl
hope you are feeling better!

Symdaddy said...

You could market a board game version called “Strip They Never Saw It Coming” for adult parties!

Daisy said...

I'm ready for the helium balloon part!

Leenie said...

Depp's Fuzzy Navel margaritas are overrated and overvalued. Just ask me, I know. Would I lie to you? (eyes shift to the left and up)

The Jules said...

Or maybe the whole game show could be a lie.

You could pull some cheap trick, maybe confuse a salesman or a mechanic, and then tell them they're being filmed whilst pointing to a nearby tree or postbox, saying there's an entire film crew in there.

Then away you frolic, leaving them waving at an inanimate object.

Not So Simply Single said...

Love it! Laughing out loud!

Lisa

Belle said...

The game is a sure winner!

The Elephant's Child said...

Not a game I could win. Gullibelle is my middle name, just before Conned Again. I would love to meet some long lost relatives though.

Murr Brewster said...

Four out of five itinerants who knock on my door offering to weed my yard for a little cash need it to buy their daughters' diabetes medicine. There's no other script. It's annoying. I would be happy to part with a little money for an hour's work if they'd quit dragging their mythical children into it.

Tempo said...

We already play that game Pearl, it's called 'Coffee with the family'

nursemyra said...

I hope Johnny Depp has a really deep "innie"

Linda O'Connell said...

I can spot 'em a mile a way. However hubby got taken for fifteen bucks by a broad who knew the car term timing chain, so "her story must have been for real". I said to him, "REALLY?" Then he saw her hitting up other men across the street on the theatre parking lot.
I'd be a great contestant.

That gentleman's lady said...

Hah I'd be a sucker from the get go.

Glen said...

I'm in - though I'm concerned that getting my head gasket rotated could be painful

Diane said...

Sounds like the last family reunion I attended.