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Thursday, October 27, 2011

On The Other Hand, A Margarita Wouldn’t Go Amiss

I’ve been trying to stay hydrated. It’s there, a post-it at my desk: Drink Some Water, Why Don’t Ya?

And just as a quick aside, when did we start using the word “hydrated”?

See? This is what happens when Marketing gets a hold of the language.

But enough – we’ll slate that for benchmarking at our next meeting. You’ll spearhead that, won’t you?

Drinking water has never been easy for me. Ditto for milk. Unless it comes with chocolate, ice cream, and malt, I don’t “do” milk. The boy in my kindergarten class that required his milk be served warm put me off it for the rest of my life.

The very smell of it still makes me want to take a nap on a small rug.

And I’m not the only one. My parents are water-resistant as well – my father, for instance, refuses to bathe until the Vikings win the Super Bowl.

OK. That’s not true. Dad bathes once a week whether he needs it or not.

So how does one reconcile this personal aversion to water with the scads of humans now roaming the streets clutching plastic water bottles?

Look, I know it’s good for me. I know it’s good for my skin, for my organs, for the water-bottling industry. I know all of this.

But left to my own devices, it’s quite possible that the only water I’ll drink during a day is what falls down my throat while I’m brushing my teeth.

I’ve been working on this for a good 10 years now, this awareness that I should be drinking water, after once sitting, Texas lakeside, in temperatures well above 100 degrees. After I stopped making sense to the people around me – and go ahead, I realize that’s a big ol' softball I just pitched right down the middle – someone pinched the skin on my hand. When it stayed “pinched”, there was some commotion. As I recall, someone started yelling at someone else – I believe the words “which one of ya’ll are watching the Yankee?” were used; and I was placed in an air-conditioned car with several large bottles of water.

You’d think that would teach me.

Still. Me and water still have an on-again-off-again relationship.

As my Dad says, “You can tell a member of the family, but you can’t tell ‘em much.”

45 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

Fortunately, I love water and drink that more than anything else. Unfortunately I also love chocolate, pizza, fried chicken, ribs, homemade bread, mac 'n cheese, lasagna, etc.

Susan in the Boonies said...

I knew it! My friend Pearl has a drinking problem!

And you heard it here, first.

Drinking water (and the fact that I DON'T drink enough water) is just one more thing to add to my list of things I feel guilty about. Take a number, wouldja?

Ponita in Real Life said...

Flavour the water, Pearl. Try those little packets that make it mango-passionfruit iced tea... or whatever floats your boat. I am also bad for not drinking enough water, but will admit I have never failed the "pinch" test. And I even lived in Texas for three years! ;-)

I'd love a Margarita... unfortunately I am allergic to tequila. You can have mine, though!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Pearlie Pearlie Pearlie with all the cool things to add to water now to make it palatable albiet chemically active there is no excuse not to take in enough water in a day. For example, a few drops of vodka can really give your generic tap water a lift. Get Liza Bean and Dolly Gee on the case. They should be able to show you how to get creative with water. Put your hand under the tap and lick it off.

Joshua said...

As far as water goes, you can add Emergen-C to it for flavor, with the bonus of vitamins!

I can't do milk by itself. I'll put it in tea, I'll have a hot chocolate, or with some Lucky Charms, but never plain.

The Kids drink it in the morning and before bed, and it used to be fine. Now it's with a quarter teaspoon of sugar and a drop of vanilla. "Coffee Milk" they call it.

Joyful Things said...

When I drink water constantly through the day I overfill and am in the washroom far too often. The co-workers think I'm going in there to snort crack or smoke fish but, really, I'm just in there getting rid of the excess water! Remember all you water drinkers - too much water starts to flush out necessary minerals. Drink water responsibly.

Saimi said...

I'm a water snob. It has to taste just right, trust me not all water taste alike and I'm talking about the bottled water.

When I find the right brand, then and only then will I drink it.

Rarely will I drink tap water unless it's super cold served with ice..

Like I said, I'm a water snob!

The Jules said...

Well, an aversion to water means you're unlikely to drown so, you know, no need for that tobacco enema you keep going on and on about.

Doubting Thomas said...

HA! Love it. As a Texan myself, I think I'll add that line to my repertoire: "which one of y'all is watching the Yankee?"

The good news is when you're used to the heat, you can get by with less water. I don't know how good that really is...

- DT

Pearl said...

Eva, you love drinking water?! I’ve just added this to the list of things I like about you…

Susan, and it’s not even hard to do, is it?! I mean, would it kill us to drink a glass of water now and then?!

Ponita, allergic to tequila? Is that allowed? Flavoring the water is an excellent idea.

Delores, oh, I love the idea of sticking my head under the bathroom faucet and attacking the water, ala Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers). :-)

Joshua, ack. I see a Target-run in my future. Emergen-C and water would actually tackle two issues for me: oncoming head cold and personal water aversion. (I think your “coffee milk” is exceedingly adorable. :-) Reminds me of drinking actual coffee with my Grandma, who encouraged me to dip sugar cookies in it…

Joyful Things, “drink water responsibly”. And while I realize you are running to the bathroom for its intended purpose, I shall now imagine you in there snorting crack and smoking fish. :-) That’s just too much fun.

Saimi, I visited Boston a number of years ago and absolutely could NOT drink the water. When I mentioned the taste of it to a friend living in the area, she laughed and told me how very proud Bostonians are of their water!

Jules, I’ve just frightened the intern next to me with the laughter that your comment provoked. Should I ever come to your neck of the woods, our meeting password shall be “tobacco enema”. :-)

DT, and MAN it was, like, what, 10, maybe 15 years ago, when Dallas had a heat wave where the temperature – even at night! – did not dip below 100 for well over 30 days. It was unreal to be out at 2:00 in the morning and be enveloped in that kind of heat! And yes, I got crazy dehydrated, drank two two-liter bottles of water and didn’t need to use the bathroom for a good five, six hours.

laughingmom said...

Pearl, I'm with Ponita - she beat me to the comments. I keep a wide variety of flavor packets in the pantry and reusable water bottles in the cabinet. It helps my kids drink water as well. I can't drink water unless it has been "flavored " with coffee or tea - but that still counts, right?

JeannetteLS said...

Hydrated was a medical term that the marketers done STOLE, huh. I like water, but not now. I just moved to a city watered apartment. I had wonderful well water. But I eat a lot of fruit. That has water. I like pudding. That has water. Oh. Right. Sugar. Well, umm... the heck(heck???) with it all. Been dehydrated and it was a pain in the butt. Salty foods, if you don't have a retention or blood pressure problems will keep the stuff there.

Since that one bout with the beast, I've never failed the pinch test again. Well. THAT pinch test. I like pure fruit juice with a bucket of ice. And I love yogurt. They give us all this drinking info., without thinking about the water in our food.

BUt I like the vodkha plan. A shot of liqueur in something... Excuse me. I am thirsty now. Where is that Chambourd?

R. Jacob said...

Tobacco enema? Smoke rings? Does one need an (ash)tray?
I think I need some fresh air all of a sudden and a drink!

Argent said...

Don't like water - fish may have fornicated in it (W C Fields joke, but still valid). Like flavoured water though and cold, cold milk (warm milk is pukey).

Pearl said...

laughingmom, I believe it does count, yes. :-) So I'm going to include in my water intake plan for the future flavored water, any water found in pudding (thanks, Jeannette!!) and -- bonus! -- any water I accidentally ingest while using the neti pot. Ewwww. No. Wait...

Jeannette, mmm. Pudding. :-) And the Chambourd -- you're not going to drink that all yourself, are you? Cuz I could get a glass...

R. Jacob, it didn't start out to be that kind of post... :-)

Pearl said...

Argent, I'd not heard that one. :-) Will have to use next time I see my dad.

R. Jacob said...

Pearl

I have this amazing talent to find something amusing don't I?

Douglas said...

Water is best when served with Bourbon, I suspect. Alas, I no longer imbibe alcoholic beverages and that means I am probably under an increased threat of dehydration. Other than that little problem I had with heat stroke when I was 11, I have always managed to keep my hydration level up.

When the medical community (you know, the ones who live in gated neighborhoods with fierce guards and lots of alarm systems) says "and drink plenty of liquids", I assume they mean chicken broth.

jenny_o said...

Here's an article you might find helpful, if you are actually wondering about what and how much to drink and eat to stay hydrated:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/water/NU00283

Apologies for the humourless comment in the midst of a sea of funny :)

fishducky said...

I'm far too upset by Ponita's allergy to tequila to post a comment. How does she survive? Margaritas are one of the FDA's necessary food groups! Oh, wait a minute--they're one of MY necessary food groups.

Hilary said...

I'm similar to you in that I don't enjoy drinking plain water.. it's a task. Neither do I like the cost of .. or the sweetness of flavoured waters. I learned that I enjoyed adding just a wee bit of a strong-tasting 100% fruit juice.. preferably berry-flavoured to a tall glass of water. Just a splash will do it for me. I get the fruity flavour but it's none too sweet. Sometimes another splash of low-sodium soda water gives it a sparkly kick.

ipenka said...

Growing up, my mom always boiled the tap water before we drank.

As I understand, filtered is cleaner than tap which is cleaner than bottled. Still think once boiled tap water tastes the best.

Sausage Fingers said...

In Scotland we call whisky the water of life and that gives us a solid excuse to drink "Water" every day...
cheers.

klahanie said...

Did you know that in Britain a 'Margarita' is a pizza without any toppings. Imagine my confusion when the waiter suggested I might like to have such a pizza :)
Oh, I note that over at my shy, humble, rather unknown blog, that Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star has made note of your good self.
Take care, eh

Joanne said...

My friend Ann was concerned enough about her marketing instilled perceived lack of hydration that she asked her doctor (not on a special visit, however). The doctor reviewed all the food she might eat in a day, factored in innumerable cups of tea and said forgetaboutit. What with brushing your teeth four times a day you may be over the limit.

vanilla said...

Me, too. Except for the sixteen cups of coffee per day, which my doctor says is "excessive." Yet I'm told to drink a gallon of water. So I need coffee-flavoring in my water. What's wrong with that?

Susan Kane said...

Since I can't/don't drink anymore, I flavor my water with an ounce of the non-alcohol Margarita mixer. My daughter used to do that with her first-born, Bright Eyes. I'd call and ask the brilliant 2 yrs. old, "What are you doin'?" and she'd say, "I'm drinkin' 'Rita."

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I know a few folks who use beer to hydrate. They swear by a daily six-pack of PBR.

20prospect said...

I only drink water at work because my employer frowns on Scotch.

Bastards.

aBroad said...

Here I am , sitting beside you , never drinking water. Unless it is the tea I drink or the sparkly stuff , no water for me.

Gigi said...

I figure there is water in my coffee and wine - so that's enough for me.

*snort* "Who's watching the Yankee?" I will DEFINITELY be stealing that line.

Laraine Eddington said...

99% of my water is delivered to me via Diet Coke and boy does it go down smooth. I'm am hydrated and very energetic.

Copyboy said...

Sadly I need to up my water intake as well. haha

HermanTurnip said...

Did you know that you can make pie crusts extra crispy by replacing water with vodka?

This is proof positive that water is useless.

LOLA said...

Pearl, Those people with the water bottles don't actually drink the water. They pour it out when no one is looking and just carry the bottle around so they look hydrated. They drink from the can of Coke in their shorts. Thanks for commenting at WOMEN: WE SHALL OVERCOME. I shall follow you and hope you follow me. And no matter how tempted I am, I promise not to give you an award.

Love,
Lola

W.C.Camp said...

Oooh yuuch I am with you on the warm milk. But you should try to drink a little more water. Maybe try 'light' lemonade or cranberry juice. W.C.C.

The Elephant's Child said...

Milk no. Should not be allowed out on its own. With friends (tea, chocolate) fine.
Water? When I remember. Not enough. Another thing to add to the guilt tripping list. Bah.

Tempo said...

I think we started using 'Hydrated' around the time we started actually paying for water... The very thought of paying for water would have had my nan shaking her head and making 'tisk' sounds. The fact that we're paying more for water than petrol is the really shocking thing...

Crystal Pistol said...

Your dad always makes me smile. :)

Belle said...

I hate water. I like Coke.

Linda O'Connell said...

You DO realize what fish do in water, don't you? Ah, drink up anyway. Hope you feel better soon.

hoodyhoo said...

I'm the same way with water, which is why I drink Gatorade. With vodka in it.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

See, I love drinking water now. As a kid in the 70s, I hated it. Because we had well water, and it was awful. Our water was so hard, you could chew it. True story.

Diane said...

Why does the distinctive figure of 'Wiley' from the revered 'BC' comic spring to mind? Oh yes. Water. And aversion to.
And your father's saying about relatives? That goes hand-in-hand with the one my father always quoted, "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't roll your friends up in little balls and flick them into the fireplace." No . . . wait . . . that's not the one . . .

Roses said...

I like water...with ribena, coffee, tea.

On it's own...not so much.

Besides, do you know what fish do in it?!