A re-worked re-post, my friends, while I continue work on my next book, "I've Saved You a Seat -- Tales from the Bus Side." I hope you enjoy it.
Found pale and unresponsive at the bottom of the aquarium last Thursday, Eddie IV, plecostomus, friend, and avid sucker of all things stationary, has died.
Unlike Yang and the mystery that surrounded his death, however, no alarms were raised with this recent bit of unpleasantness.
The unfortunate discovery was met with the blandest of exclamations.
“I dunno,” said Lady G’Agua, ornamental fins rippling. “He just never really took to the tank. How long was he here? Three weeks? I called on him on his first day, of course, but he wasn’t much for conversation.”
Goldie Spawn, floating belly-up as she so often does, feigning death only to dive, coquettishly, when approached, said only that they never spoke.
Tank-mates Gill Miloche and Blanket said nothing at all but continued to pick up and discard the same flotsam they had just picked up and discarded moments ago.
Those two are, according to Lady G’Agua and Goldie Spawn, “gross”.
Non-tank denizens and half-lidded watchers of fish Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) and Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) were not available for comment, although the following was found attached to the bottom of the refrigerator, unsigned but in Liza Bean’s spiky, old-world script:
Birth, life, and death -- each took place on the hidden side of a leaf.
- Toni Morrison
New plecostomus Cuddy, meanwhile, purchased late Sunday, continues to flit from surface to surface in a panicked state.
“Where am I? Who’s that? What’s for dinner? And - oh holy crap, where’s Todd?
Do Not Succumb
17 hours ago