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Monday, October 10, 2011

I'll Be Awake by Noon -- Talk to Me Then

“Did you have a good weekend? You all ready for work?”

Well, no. As a matter of fact, I’m not.

I would love to tell you that I am. Ready for work, that is. But the truth is, I am woefully unprepared.

I meant to be. I meant to be ready. But there was watching movies I'd already seen on Friday night. And then there was the washing and folding bonanza that was Saturday. There was the writing, the cooking, the refrigerator detailing, the transporting of the cats to their tap-dancing lessons.

Would you believe I completely forgot to leave time to get worked up about being a productive member of corporate America?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m one punctual and competent SOB; but I’m no good at that “You all ready for work?” question. It just doesn’t seem that there’s a good answer to it.

Small talk is not my forte.

I should work on having prepared answers.

“Work? I’m at work?”

“Ready for work? Oh, now, yeah. I can’t remember what they called it, but the doctors said that I can continue with my regular routine as long as I use a hand sanitizer and don't – oh, shoot – have you seen my face mask?”

“Yep! All ready for work! Say, could you cover for me for a couple hours this afternoon? The police – well, the less you know the better; but now that they’ve got the court order they’re going to take that sample whether I like it or not.”

It’s so important to have a good attitude, don’t you think?

Happy Monday, everyone.

30 comments:

mapstew said...

And a very happy Monday to you! :¬)

xxx

Simply Suthern said...

Tis a lovely Monday morning and I and ready to face it head on.

And when police show up, it's "I have no recollection of that". or just let Liza Bean give the sample. Sounds like she has a few tricks up her sleeves/pelt.

Audubon Ron said...

I hear there are a lot of female cops on the beat these days.

Can we make this "Frisk Me Monday?" Yeah, beat me, make me feel real.

Us house husbands get to unload the dishwasher on Monday.

Douglas said...

You sound (read?) cheerful this morning. I hope that means you are feeling better.

There are no truly witty answers that survive the day, it seems. I used to just scowl at people who bothered me on Monday mornings.

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Pearl. I have a terrible suspicion that I might be at work, too. Desk? Check. Monitor? Check. Annoying person sniffing every eight seconds rather than blowing their nose? RIGHT next to me? Check. See you on the news! Indigo x

Shelly said...

I'm swiping one of your Monday comments for myself to give to my colleagues. Modays should roll around only once a year or so-

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

I used to love Monday mornings at work. Fresh start to the week, nothing but hope ahead. Talk to me on Tuesday when I realized that I had to be there for four more days and it was a whole other story. Wednesday when they were all celebrating "hump" day I was "down in the dumps" day. Thursday you could find me under my desk sucking my thumb. Friday....ah Friday......flaky day, weekend ahead day, everyone else was exhausted and I was fresh and ready to go (all those naps under my desk). It's all in how you look at it.

Vicus Scurra said...

Have a nice cup of herbal tea, (make sure you pronounce the 'h' otherwise it won't work). Think loving thoughts. Breathe deeply. Go to your 'happy place'.
If that doesn't work then shoot the bastards.

Leenie said...

Your mistake was doing laundry, detailing the refridgerator, (note to self: remove slime/science projects from fridge)and providing transportation for the kitties. You should have worked that illness for two more days. Then you could divide your attention at work between the guilt of laundry build-up and home and being so far behind at work that it may be useless to try any more.

Leenie said...

correction: refrigerator

alwaysinthebackrow said...

Monday blues. Tuesday doldrums. Wednesday guilt. Thursday exhaustion. Friday hope.
Retirement-every day is Saturday.

Some day.

R. Jacob said...

I fake work happiness every day in order to keep the bill collectors happy and well sated.

Kavi said...

Ah ! Small talk isnt my forte either. Whenver i indulge in small talk, big mistakes happen !

And one of the best thing about living to your East, is that my Monday is over when your Monday begins !! ;)

Happy Monday Pearl !

Roses said...

I took Monday off. And d'you know what? It doesn't make it any better. Monday still sucks.

I'm grumpy and hormonal. Can you tell?

Amber Star said...

Today is a holiday for a lot of people...at least we aren't getting mail today.

When I was working I was so startled every Tuesday at how tired I was.

aBroad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
aBroad said...

Apparently Mondays mean that I cannot post a simple reply without making a hash of it....

Will it only depress someone further if I tell you that Monday is the exact same as Tuesday, Wed,Thurs and Friday here ? ... at our house ..

I take that back ! More things are closed on Sundays.

Dan said...

Friday too tired, Saturday too drunk, Sunday too far away...
Ooops i just quoted a line from a film

Gigi said...

Hmmmm, after the way this Monday started off I certainly won't be surprised if the police show up at the office tomorrow.....all I can say is this, "He DESERVED it!" and then proceed to offer alibis for the main suspects (because they'd do the same for me....).

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Ugh. "You Ready for Work?" Almost as bad as getting a crapload of projects and being told "Have fun!"

Susan in the Boonies said...

Tough weekend, then?

:-D

I know it's been tough lately.

:hug:

Bodaciousboomer said...

Tap dancing cats? I had no idea they could do that. Interesting.

Bouncin' Barb said...

I'm worried about you! If this next trip to the doctor doesn't turn up anything, maybe you need to go to another just to be safe. Keep me posted please!!!!!

jenny_o said...

It's Turkey Day in Canada, but strangely not restful - buy, prep, cook, clean, clean up, blah blah...looking forward to work tomorrow so I can sit down awhile :)

Silver Strands said...

LOVE your attitude!

Argent said...

Mondays suck generally. I'm not ready for work until, oh, about Friday afternoon and by then it's too late.

Crystal Pistol said...

I too detest small talk!

When you and I finally have lunch in person we will dispense with all small talk.

I will begin by asking, "what is your bra cup size?" to which you will respond something clever. And then the laughing and banter will begin in earnest.

Work super sucks. I'm never ready. NEVER!

Pat said...

I'm all behind(no cracks please)but I hope it was a good one.

Jon said...

Monday is cool. Monday is the day you can get ahead and annoy everybody by being efficient & motivated.

Wednesday, on the other hand, is a stinker that should only be faced after a breakfast martini.

That Baldy Fella said...

I don't think anyone asks me if I'm ready for work. I think because they're not ready to receive the full force of my not-good-at-mornings-in-any-way attitude.