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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Dolly Rifles Through the Want Ads

I woke up early Tuesday morning only to find Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) already up and sitting at the little breakfast table, a cup of coffee in front of her, a lit cigarette’s smoke being coaxed out a window, Patsy Cline playing softly in the background.

That cat knows how I feel about her smoking in the house.

Dolly and I have an odd relationship: I feed her small, flavored treats so that I can laugh while she stands on her back legs and she, in return, hoicks hairballs into my boots.

I’m not sure it’s an evenly sided relationship, but so few are these days.

Have you met Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers)? Dolly is a rather stunning long-haired Siamese mixture, a sparsely-toothed puddy tat with a penchant for lying flat on her back, limbs akimbo, looking, for all the world, like a warm and suspiciously unseaworthy canoe.

It’s a strange moment, catching your cat unawares. One delicate claw stirring the heavily creamed coffee, her brilliantly blue (and sometimes crossed) eyes staring off in the distance, I walked in as she was singing.

“I go out walking, after midnight…”

Well, except she wasn’t so much singing along as she was meow-meowing along. “Meow-meow mi-meow meow, meow-meow meow meow…” You’d probably have to be there, but really it’s quite disconcerting, catching a cat singing.

She stopped as I entered the kitchen, shifted the gaze that had been out the window to concentrate on the want ad section of the newspaper spread out before her.

“Mornin’,” I said.

Dolly raised her cup and nodded. She knows how I feel about early morning chatter, not to mention the fact that her lisp makes her self-conscious.

“Looking for a job?” I asked.

“Mmmmm,” she said.

“I’ll catch you later then,” I said. I was all the way to the front door before I heard what could only be a cat clearing her throat. At the bottom of the steps, I turned around and looked up.

Dolly was holding my lunch. “Meow meow meow,” she said, which I can only interpret at “You forgot your lunch”.

She tossed it down to me.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Don’t menthun it,” she said.

30 comments:

Simply Suthern said...

Ever wonder why the call them Hairballs?

The ones I clean up dont look nuttin like a ball.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Get someone else to open that lunch. I'm suspicious of the contents.

willfulresemblance said...

how helpful she is, I don't imagine that she wants a job to help with the mortgage.

Daisy said...

Ahhhh, Ms Dolly, I'd hire you in a second!

Symdaddy said...

I enjoyed that until it thounded thuthpithiothly like thumone making fun of my thlight thpeath impediment!

Belle said...

I'm with Dolly Gee. I should be able to smoke in the house too.

powdergirl said...

I could do mornings with that cat. Sounds perfect, coffee, smoke, Painful Patsy, nice. Aw, and she tossed you your lunch instead of tossing her own lunch into your shoe. Thats so sweet : )

Bouncin' Barb said...

Hahaha...so cute!

Glen said...

I'm guessing when you got to work you discovered one of your tuna sandwhiches missing. Everything comes with a price...

Leenie said...

Hoicking hairballs and lying flat on the back, limbs akimbo, looking, for all the world, like a warm and suspiciously unseaworthy canoe...yup that's Thomas as well. There must be some Nordic hairy canoe--ish cat way back in both their families.

If Thomas knew Dolly was looking for work he would for sure tell her to relax and just enjoy a spot of sun if the urge ever happens again.

aBroad said...

I love Dolly ..and she likes Patsy Cline !!

Macy said...

I always followed Ned Dog's advice and kept well clear of cats.
Though as nan ex-smoker I might come and inhale next to Dolly yet.

The Elephant's Child said...

We are all waiting. What was in your lunch bag? Was it more, or less than you thought you had packed?

Anna Lefler said...

Dude, you're lucky.

Our dog likes Dokken.

A.

lisleman said...

time for meow therapy for the lisp?

Eva Gallant said...

That Dolly! She's a peach. You would have been hungry had it not been for her!

IndigoWrath said...

What would we do without them? Other than have less life insurance lodged against us, I mean.

jenny_o said...

Aw, I love your kitteh descriptions :)

Clipped Wings said...

Oh, Miss Dolly...I love her. Did you find a hairball when you opened up your lunch?

Susan in the Boonies said...

So helpful, Miss Dolly Gee. Kitties love their after-midnight prowls, you know. Kitty Wells was ticked off SHE didn't get that song...but Patsy got lucky that day.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Has she tried acupuncture to quit smoking? Worked for me.

HermanTurnip said...

You might want to check that sack lunch for stray hairballs...

scrambledhenfruit said...

Awww...my kitteh used to greet me in the morning like that. I always suspected that he had been out on the town (in my car of course) all night- he just looked so guilty. :) He never packed me lunch though. If he had, it would probably have been kibble, since he never liked to eat it himself.
So glad you liked the apple squares- they disappeared at my house too. :)

Argent said...

"like a warm and suspiciously unseaworthy canoe.". Now THAT sort of thing is why I come over here. Thanks for brightening my very dark, hauled-out-of-bed-at-ass-o'clock-to-fix-broken-computer-system morning.

Roses said...

Is it just me, but I'm filled with suspicion.

Check her bank statements.

And I agree, get someone else to check your lunch.

River said...

So nice of Dolly to make sure you got your lunch. She's a sweetie. She even opens the window to let the smoke out.

Audubon Ron said...

...and she'll probably get an interview. Me? Not so much.

Supergreensunbear said...

Hehe, so cute, those little kittehs know what they're doing really! If only lolcats were 100 words or more :)

KAT said...

I love this! I too have a cat (Felix) who thinks he runs the house!

Pat said...

I hope you gave her a kiss.