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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Where the Path to Righteousness and the Road to Perdition run Parallel (in other words, just across the river, on Hennepin*…)

When the going gets tough, ladies and gentlemen, the tough don black pants and starched white shirts.

May I take your plate, sir?

Once again, Mary and I have been called upon to stand up straight and make with the servitude.

And I cannot wait.

Friday’s gig? Nye’s Polonaise, an old-fashioned supper club, the only union-staffed restaurant in Minneapolis, and home of the World’s Most Dangerous Polka Band. Red carpeting, the curved piano bar, the gold-flecked upholstered booths: the décor hasn’t changed since 1960.

Just how we like it.

We didn’t get the call for Friday's gig until Monday morning. The text I received at work from Michelle made it clear that she may have, uh, messed up regarding banquet scheduling.

Would I be available Friday night?

For cash? Does she know who she’s talking to?

“Of course!” I texted. “Need more folk? Let me know.”

She did need more folk. “Who?” she wrote back. “Sell me.”

“Mary,” I wrote. “She’s smart, hustles during the rush, knows when to hold ‘em/when to fold ‘em.”

“Go on,” Michelle wrote.

“She has all her own teeth.”

“And?”

“Mary can carry three times her body weight. She’s the only person I know who seems to get taller as the night wears on. She once rassled a bear out of her house with nothing but a firm demeanor and a lit cigarette.”

A series of happy faces appeared on my screen followed by the word “Sold!”

Mary and Pearl: workin’ the Friday-night crowd at Nye’s.

Holdin’ ‘em and foldin’ ‘em from 4:30 to 10:00.



* From the Esquire article on Nye’s, what, a couple years back now, wasn’t it?

39 comments:

Shelly said...

Sounds like a great gig and I know you two would be a riot to be around. I have seen a few places like Nye's that you mentioned- love the retro stuff.
(This is Shelly- La Tejana)

My Journey With Candida said...

How fun to work with your friend.... I almost missed the r and it would of spelled fiend. Friend or Fiend... lots of fun.

I checked out the Nye’s Polonaise and it looks like a super place.

New follower here!

Pearl said...

Shelly, and the best retro is the stuff that never changed from the original!

My Journey, hey! Welcome!

Leenie said...

Don't forget the next line is...
"Know when to walk away, know when to run."

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

You never count your money, when you're sitting at the table...oh wait, you're not sitting.

Eva Gallant said...

I love your posts! You always make me smile! Good luck to you and Mary Friday night.

Pearl said...

Leenie, the time to run is just after the cash hits the palm.

YOINK! :-)

jabblog said...

Have fun! - and a refreshing foot bath for later.

Pearl said...

Delores, no, that's the worst part, of course, that we'll be on our feet and running all that time. Oh, well. While we're young... :-)

Eva, thank you, dear. I'm hoping that Mary and I are silly enough Friday night (after work, of course) to warrant another post!

Pearl said...

jabblog, and perhaps a refreshing beverage!

Sausage Fingers said...

I can't believe it...I once picked up a used cd at a garage sale here in Florida recorded live at Nye's. The cd was so live you could actually hear the dinner service in the background.
Small bloody world, eh.
Cheers, Sausage...

Joshua said...

I want to hear about this bear and the lit cigarette. Or was that a euphemism? Either way.

CarrieBoo said...

You are an awesome possum friend! Wow, talk about promotion. That is a bloomin' 'ard job'n'all. I tried it once... posh do, police-officers at some golf-club dinner thing... luckily they were very kind when I spilled chocolate sauce... forks... etc. Enjoy!

Pearl said...

SF, :-) I love that.

Joshua, I made that up. But I just may have to write something about it anyway. :-)

CarrieBoo, she's a hoot! And it IS hard work, but we're kinda perverse that way. Not to mention that it feels so good when you stop...

jenny_o said...

Nice! Sounds like a better time than high school graduations in tents :)

May your black-pantsed legs stay strong and your starched shirt never wilt ...

Oilfield Trash said...

I love how you get your partner in crime in on the job as well.

Pearl said...

jenny_o, ha! :-) And a lot cooler, too!

OT, shhh. :-) Actually, she's not the first friend I've pulled into the mix! It's always my intent to load jobs with people who do good work and know how to have a good time.

Simply Suthern said...

Seems you'll be workin inside so you dont have to worry about Swamp Butt.

Belle said...

Definitely do it while your young! I'm afraid I couldn't hold a tray of marshmallows. Cash in the pocket feels good!

SeaD said...

Pearl, you give such glowing recommendations! Please do expand on that bear story. You made me laugh out loud

Lazarus said...

Sounds like a fun time (for as "fun" as work can be) and a cool place. I'm sure the tables that are lucky enough to get you Pearl enjoy the experience more than the average patron....

R. Jacob said...

Insanity is always better when it comes in pairs!
Now we have bears? why not, Twister had cows!

Cedar View said...

Why have I never heard of this place? Why am I not in that band? Why am I so excited?

I'm fo sho goin there on my next trip to visit Lil' Seester.

Crystal Pistol said...

Love the title, as there must be opposition in all things. :)

I have all my original teeth too. I wish I could join you and Mary on Friday. I could use some extra cash, but working with you and your rapier wit would be reward enough. :)

Bouncin' Barb said...

I don't miss the business but once in awhile I'd work a banquet party and would have fun if the right crew was on duty. Hope you have fun while earning that cash!

The Jules said...

Hooters next!

Tom G. said...

AWESOME! When I moved to town in 1993, I fell in love with the place. I used to take my folks there for Prime when they came to visit, and it was a regular stop on our restaurant circuit back before we had kids, and actually did things like go out for dinner. Nye's truly is one of a kind, and it is full of all kinds. Perhaps the most diverse clientele of any place in town. I think I'm gonna try to crash this party.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for stopping by THS for it caused me to follow you back here to be throughly delighted. What a fun blog you have.
Arkansas Patti

Gigi said...

Since you have such a silver tongue and can sell people so well....I'm putting you down as a reference for Hubby.... 'kay?

Manzanita said...

Pearl,
Thanks for visiting my blog. It is nice to meet you. It's fun hearing about Minneapolis. Where I've spent most of my life. It's actually my home town. Yeah for Nye's. Manzanita@Wannabuyaduck

kal said...

You told a fib. We all know that Mary was drinking with that bear for hours before she 'rassled him out of her kitchen.

Hooch said...

Love the prime rib at Nye's.

Will this be a private party?

imtsmom said...

Hey Pearl, As you know T's Dad grew up in nordeast Mpls. Played ball for Nye's, among several other local hot spots (Short Stop, Goalpost, the Point Bar, Betty's...) . That was in the late 60's, early 70's. He still has a beauty of a "bag" - yellow and green emblazoned with "Nye's". T may have a picture of that. There's prolly trophies in there that he helped win. He wants to know if the blind piano player is stil there! Don't know if he's serious...

HermanTurnip said...

Ahhh...after a harsh day at work it's nice to read a blog that truly makes me lol. Thanks!

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

Friday supper here is for 16! Too bad you are already booked. I've decided to take the gang out for Mexican yummys instead of having to stand up straight all night long myself!
Rosemary

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

I love servers with all their own teeth! Mary! Pearl! Be my servers!

the walking man said...

So is Mary going along as a waitress or your body guard?

Pat said...

Your a worker - and a wit. I really admire that:)

Robyn said...

Nye's is great!! So great that in fact my sister is having her wedding dinner there in a couple of weeks!!