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Sunday, July 3, 2011

I'm Gonna -- Hic! -- Take A Look at The Juke Box

I’m tired of being on the inside of my head. I need a new vantage point.

I want to be inside someone else’s head for a change.

For example, that guy over there. No, not that one. The one at the juke box. Have you been watching this guy?

“My man!” he shouts at the machine. In this case, it appears that George Thoroughgood is this guy’s “man”. One arm up in the air, faux-clutching what may be an imaginary lighter, our man at the juke box sways, enthralled. “B-b-b-b-bad to the bone!” he stutters.

He raises the beer he’s set onto the bar and pulls deeply from it. He belches. “Thazz mah dog,” he says to no one.

The next hour on the jukebox, however, is devoted, it seems, to the mid-80s; and we endure both the musical stylings of AC/DC and its Number One Fan.

“Done dirt cheap!” he bawls.

“Yeah, buddy,” someone at the bar agrees good naturedly. “AC/DC! Dirty Deeds!”

“Done dirt cheap!” yells/agrees our man at the juke box. He wanders over to where I’m sitting and jams an imaginary microphone in my face.

“Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap!” I yell into his fist. The crowd laughs and I raise my beer.

Why not.

Unencumbered by sobriety or, unfortunately, a belt, he returns to the jukebox, clutching at his droopy drawers with one hand and using the other to alternately direct the music pouring out through the speakers or touch the screen to choose what turns out to be more AC/DC songs.

Now, I enjoy AC/DC as much as the next three-chord-strummin’ rock band, but do they have anything else?

A crowd has gathered around him.

What is going on inside that head, I wonder. What time did he start drinking? Is he imagining that the dancing and singing in front of the jukebox is drawing a crowd, not as a drunken spectacle but in admiration? Why doesn’t he own a belt?

Wait – some of these women actually do appear to be admiring him – so what’s going on in their heads?

Hmm. First I want to vacation in his head – and then I want to vacation in one of those women’s heads.

I’ll bet everything looks different from inside there.


Gigi said...

Nah, you don't want to peek inside those heads - it would be scary!

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

If you need a break from logical thought that would indeed be the place to vacation.
Pearl, I have an award for you if you would care to drop in and pick it up.

Daisy said...

Inside his head probably looks and feels like the "head" of beer! Somewhat frothy and light.

Linda O'Connell said...

Stay out of vacant or poorly furnished rooms/heads. You don't want to go there.

Irish Gumbo said...

You can stay a while inside my head, but you have to promise to put the furniture back where you found it. Plus, you aren't startled by loud noises and sudden movements, are ya? that helps, too.

Reasonable rates, too!

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

"Come right in
Faggedddabout him
we'll have ourselves a ball!"
I yell into Pearl's fist and raise my beer.
Why not? ;)

jenny_o said...

Oooh, are you SURE you want to vacation in one of those heads?

Belle said...

I think some of those heads are emptier but happier than me! We call my husband's head, "Dan's World". It is a very happy place. :)

jabblog said...

I don't think they would be very enviable vacations - interesting, yes, and probably rather disturbing.

Susan in the Boonies said...

You have an amazingly brilliant, creative mind, that could spend its time in better destinations than the aforementioned locales. You're just going to have to trust me on this one.

alwaysinthebackrow said...

Well, that vacation would certainly give you much fodder for blog posts. Go for it, I say!

C said...

I'd wager that in his head one of two things is going on.

A) He's thinking that he's totally the man and this is the rockstar lifestyle.

B) He's really a corporate lawyer who decided tos ay 'fuck it' and 'live a little' and...that's his idea of doing it?

You write the BEST stuff!

IndigoWrath said...

I feel your pain. You know, we should do a brain swap for a few days. Just think! Homeless on the guided bus in Cambridge, and badgers in Minneapolis! Indigo x

R. Jacob said...

If you haven't. you must watch "School of Rock" and everything will be esplained!

mapstew said...

Sounds like Gerry from our recently deceased local! He was fun! :¬)


Shieldmaiden96 said...

Meh, I've dealt with too many of those people after they pay their tab and leave to be entertained by them. Though I did pull a guy matching that description out of a rolled over pickup once who fixed his bleary eyes on me (not without considerable difficulty)and slurred, "How's my face?" I told him, "Handsome as it was before."

Roses said...

You want a vacation from your head? No problem, given the recession etc, why don't we do a head swap? You can be in my head for a fortnight and I'll be in yours.

I'll leave full instructions, but please tidy and clean up for change over day. I know how you like to party.

aBroad said...

There are too many Heads around to get inside of ... I prefer to either stay in mine or go visit Pup's ... Now that is a perfect head to be in ..
Thoughts of treats, peeing on a statue and sniffing someones behind , nothing in there about speaking the language or seeing doctors who don't speak English ~

Pat said...

Step into mine Pearl. There's bags of room.

Eva Gallant said...

Don't think any of those heads guarantees a fun vacation. You may want to rethink your plan.