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Monday, July 25, 2011

And On Still Yet Another Hand, Well, You’ve Got Three Hands Then, Haven’t You?

On the one hand, I’m glad that there are young men out there secure enough to wear their long hair up in a bun.

On the other hand, I wish they’d stop.

Once again, I am at odds with myself.

One of the coffee-slingers at the Starbucks I frequent has taken to wearing his hair in a bun. There it sits, atop his head, a confusing mass of tucked-in bun-ness. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a big fan of long hair. I’ve dated men with hair longer than my own. But had they shown up with it in a bun – well that just smacks of Mrs. Claus, doesn’t it?

Wait. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s a seasonal affectation. Maybe there’s a movement I don’t know about, trying to bring Kringle fashion back.

And for Easter, little chocolate eggs will drop out of a specially designed chute in his pants.

No. I don’t buy that, and believe me, I buy into a lot of the stuff I make up.

I want to ask him, “What’s up with the bun? Braiding too good for ya?”

But no. I won’t. He is young and hip, and I am simply part of the early-morning coffee crush. I am “Venti Bold, room for cream, right?”

Right.

Of course, it is possible that his view of me is as skewed as I’m sure mine is of him. I see a hipster, a man with his hair tucked into a bun, a man at whom I smile as I mentally envision him in a large red velvet dress with tiny wire-rim spectacles; and he sees a middle-aged woman, one of hundreds that line up for delicious, over-priced coffee and feels pressured to leave her change because someone poured a cup of coffee…

Great. Now I’m trying to think of ways to freak him out.

The truth is that no one really knows what they are looking at. Perhaps there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for a 20-something U.S. male to be wearing his hair in a bun.

Perhaps the explanation is that it’s none of my business.

Either way, I like a bit of mystery. Loch Ness Monster, the chupacabra, the Kardashians. Who knows what is real anymore? Life is a series of discoveries in varying degrees: I may never know the reason for the bun, and he may never know the reason I grin the way I do when I see him.

I’m okay with that.

42 comments:

StephanieC said...

Perhaps his boss went all health unit on him and decided that shizz needs to be tied back in a food establishment.

Are you sure it's really a dude, though?

So many questions...

StephanieC

_

Pearl said...

Stephanie, if he's not a guy then we've got a whole 'nother post coming... :-)

laughingmom said...

You could try wearing your hair in a bun and see if he notices? Or get everyone that you know who goes there to do the same...It could be a bun revolution!

Susan in the Boonies said...

I laughed out loud THREE TIMES!!!

"smacks of Mrs. Claus"
"little chocolate eggs falling out a chute in his pants
mentally envisioning him in a large red velvet dress with tiny wire rim spectacles.

Flashes of greatness!

Since he's serving up coffee and presumably breakfast fare, watch for the bun to morph into Princess Leia honeybuns, when the cinnamon rolls go on special.

Vinny C said...

Hipsters... Skinny jeans & tight tee-shirts are bad enough. Buns might be taking it a step too far.

Mamma has spoken said...

I agree that the dude might be a dudete or maybe his mom does his hair in the morning for him. Though I would be worried if you start seeing things sticking out of said bun, like pencils, straws, coffee stirers......

Pearl said...

laughingmom, I actually wore a bun to high school once and never lived it down. :-)

Susan, I would so love to see a Princess Leia style hairdo on this guy!

Vinny, to me, to looks silly, a bun on a man -- at least by the standards given to me growing up!

Mamma, he really doesn't look anything but hetero, but you never know. I don't even care about that -- what I want to know is "why a BUN, man?"

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I swear I have read that before, is it a repost miss Pearl or am I finally, officially insane? Maybe it's best you don't answer that. Either way it makes me laugh out loud, particularly the opening and the "none of my business" line. :)

Leenie said...

I'm betting on chupacabra. Of course prolonged heat in a place like MN (or Idaho for that matter) can cause people to do more weird things than usual.

Oilfield Trash said...

You crack me up Pearl....

Gary Baker said...

How is a guy supposed to get his hairstyle at its most pleasing with all the bodacious women sending conflicting messages? Check this out: Man bun
(I'll be rocking full-on MPB soon anyway, so 'moot' will be the word. )

jenny_o said...

It really is frustrating when I know what I should tolerate - nay, encourage - in the name of equality but all I do inside is go ew, ew, ew.... maybe in another 20 years it will be so common it won't cause that reaction in me.

Gary Baker's link to Man Bun was a real eye-opener - at least for me. Well, until my eyes couldn't take it anymore and had to squint and go cross-eyed to get to the end.

Leslie said...

It's hot. If he's still wearing it that way in September, THEN you must ask.

Eva Gallant said...

I'm sure it's a health requirement. But then, I'm totally out of step with the universe, so what do I know?

George said...

Are we sure that this isn't just a Honey Bun that has hair sticking to it? I mean it is a coffee shop, who knows where his head lays when he takes a nap in the shop.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

Maybe he is Mrs. Claus disguised as a StarBucks guy so she can do some spying for Mr. Claus. You should warn him/her that the bun is a dead giveaway.

Russ said...

You should ask him to put it up in the Princess Leia buns! That would be funny!

Belle said...

This I have never seen. I've seen skinheads, mohawks, braids and ponytails on me, but not a bun. I like all the other stuff, but a bun just scares me.

Wow, that was awkward said...

I pay by credit card so I can preempt the pressure to dump the change in the box. And I'm normally a big tipper so I'm not sure why I do this. Perhaps I blame someone else for my habit of paying over four bucks for a chai.

NYEMT said...

My money's on StephanieC's explanation. And besides, what looks better on a guy - a bun, or a hair net? I'd go with the bun, too. If I actually had enough hair left to fall in someone's coffee and freak them out, I mean. I'm not in a food-service occupation, but if I were and my hair was falling into the food, people would just think it was a short eyelash. Or (more likely) not even notice it. :)

WrathofDawn said...

I think jenny-o hit the nail on the head (which would help keep the bun in place). I remember the first time I say a man with a pierced ear, way back in the Jurassic when I was a teen. It looked really freaky. Now it's just common place and only looks freaky when they wear those thread spool doohickeys to stretch the lobe.

As far as that trend goes (shoulders should be the limit), you can bet your bottom dollar that plastic surgeons all over North America have already formulated surgical game plans for earlobe restoration, which these dudes are gonna need sooner than they think.'Cause earlobes get bigger all on they own selves, dudes. All the better to support all that ear hair.

That said, I fully suppor this generation's right to look ridiculous, just as every generation before it has done. Twenty-three skeedoo! Who's got a goldfish?

WrathofDawn said...

Saw. Saw a man.

And support.

See how badly I type? And my earlobes don't even get in the way. Just sayin'...

Cheeseboy said...

Haha! Mrs. Clause... Going to tell my cousin that one now at which time he will take his hair down and whip it across my face.

Esther Montgomery said...

And I hadn't thought of you as middle aged, bun or bun-less.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Your Grin: The Reason For His Bun.

mapstew said...

The 'bun' look wouldn't work for me!

I've found an old friend through Facebook, he now resides in your fine country.

He now wears his hair in a bun.

:¬)

xxx

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Oh, I'm so with you on this! I'm all for everyone expressing themselves in however fashion they like, but that bun thing is really off-putting, isn't it? I'm still laughing over your Mrs. Claus comparison, though! I don't think I'll ever be able to look at one of those guys without thinking of her now! LOL!

Grandma Bonnie said...

Very interesting. I would bet it's a health and safety thing also.
Thanks for following. I am following back.

GYPSYWOMAN said...

as always your ability to take even the most mundane of the mundane and turn it into a funny story gets me! of men's hair in a bun however, without diluting the essence of your story, don't sumo wrestlers wear this style - and certain indian [eastern] sects? now, i doubt your starbucks bun is a sumo wrestler [you didn't mention loin cloth] but perhaps he partakes in the martial arts where i think men's buns are fairly common [pun intended]! ;)

karena said...

Girl...you sure as sh*t can write! What a wonderfully entertaining blog. How have I missed you? Thanks for stopping in at my shabby place and leaving a thoughtful comment.
Signed...your new and latest follower,
karen

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Watching SOA kind of got me used to men in buns. They make it seem more macho.

alwaysinthebackrow said...

Dang, I thought you were going to mentally envision him naked with that bun. But you were just into Mrs. Claus....hhmmmm.....so who's freaky-you or him? :)

Nessa Roo said...

Weeeellll, there's a woman who shops in our store who wears her hair in a bun atop her head.
She has a nice full beard.
It's the bun that convinces me she is a woman. She clips it with a pretty silver butterfly clip.
"That's a really pretty clip you have there."
"Well, thank you, hun. I got it at Walmart."

Pat Tillett said...

Then again, maybe he does know what you are grinning at. So he's grinning because because he knows you are really into his buns. Er uhm, his bun...

Crystal Pistol said...

I'm envisioning the bunny man. Forgive me, but I find him sexy. Oh so SEXY. His bun is very devil may care.

And as Joni Mitchell crooned, "I'm afraid of the Devil, but I'm drawn to those that ain't afraid...".

DEZMOND said...

I'm a proud bald man :) and I don't like long her on men :)

Rory Grant said...

God forbid he should ever have two of them - I can't imagine telling the coffee dude 'Nice Buns'.

Hospitable Scots Bachelor said...

Coffee Slingers?????????? Pleeze. Think of their professional dignity, Pearl! They are Barristas, surely!!!!!!!!

Cake Betch said...

You want to know how to stop him? Do your hair EXACTLY like his every day for the next week. I will bet you an overpriced cup of coffee AND an adult beverage when I come stalk, I mean visit you.

aBroad said...

I see so many beeautiful young guys with long hair and some wear theirs in a bun and I don't care... I know they are just too purty either way :)

Am I sounding like a lecherous old lady ?

Daisy said...

I'm with those who are thinking health rules around food. But I also think they are kind of cute!

Pat said...

I think the young are entitled to do whatever with their appearance but long flowing hair or pony-tails etc in old men makes me feel nauseous.