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Monday, May 23, 2011

You Mind If I Get A Hit of That?

Having lived successfully through a turbulent childhood, the 80s/90s/and yesterday, a motorcycle “club” (never say “gang”), and motherhood, I can safely say that I am not an addictive personality.

You’ll have to take my word for it.

That said, however, I’m going to have to take a long lunch today and run to Target. I may not be back as soon as you think I should, but please don’t worry. You’ll have to trust me on this. Something’s come up, something you don’t know about me, and something that I cannot hide from you for too much longer.

Maybe I should just tell you now.

You see, I’ve forgotten my lipstick.

Go ahead. Scoff. Shoot, if it wasn’t me, I’d be scoffing with you! But it is me, and I feel my pain.

Shhhhhh. Listen. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of my lips chapping.

My mother was a lipstick kind of gal. Not in a gaudy way – never! That would not do. But a quick trip to the grocery store? “Just a little color…” she’d mutter while applying her lipstick, trailing off as she peered earnestly into the mirror. A brush through the hair, a “little color” and she was gone, looking good and getting it done.

One got the feeling, watching her, that that “little color” was done not for her but for others.

Me?

Hardly!

While it is true that I have a healthy ego (actually masking the fear that everyone else is attending some fabulous party that I’ve not been invited to for reasons known only to them) and often feel that people are looking at me in silent judgment, the lipstick is not necessarily to add a dash of color for others on this bleak and humidity-wrapped May day.

I apply lipstick, all day, several times a day, because I like it.

I’m used to it.

I’m just used to it! OK? That’s all! OK? I’m just used to it! I like it! I mean, I could stop but it doesn’t affect my life or anything! It’s not like I’m leaving work just to –

Oooooh.

46 comments:

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Pearl! I salute you but must confess I don't use it myself. It tastes funny. Besides, I just can't find my colour. Indigo x

Glen said...

Uncovered lips? Is that legal in America?

Daisy said...

:-D This brought back memories of a very young "me", going to the bathroom when my mother was away, taking her lipstick, and trying it out! But we played a lot of "cowboys and indians" in those days and the lipstick was used as "warpaint" lines across my cheeks and nose. Never did find my lips. I was a really strange kid - perhaps because I was the only girl in my neighbourhood of rowdy boys. We played, besides the "C&I", Cops and Robbers, War, etc. In an attempt to make me into a "lady" my aunt bought me a doll carriage. It was handy to haul scraps of wood to build a clubhouse.

Daisy's Barbara

Doubting Thomas said...

To quote Napoleon Dynamite: "Can you bring me my chapstick? But my lips hurt real bad!" Sad to say, I am a slave to the medicated lip balm. If I don't have it, I get a little wiggy. I feel your pain ;) -DT

Simply Suthern said...

Yeah, Lipstick aint one of those things you borrow from the girl in the next cube over. Have fun at Target.

alwaysinthebackrow said...

If you can get out of Target with only lipstick, you are a better person that most of us.

Flea said...

I like eyeliner. Lipstick runs a close second. But the chapstick stuff? That's actually addictive. People have withdrawals if they're regular users. Bizarre.

Leenie said...

I'm with Daisy on the warpaint-er lipstick. The doll carriage IS a great thing to haul your Joan of Arc/Princess Leia gear. However, going out in public sans lipstick and eye liner is a disservice to your fellow beings. People lose their appetite over less.

Eva Gallant said...

I stopped wearing lipstick regularly when I retired. I really should get back to it. Just a little color.

Macy said...

Tsk Pearl, given your family history and all, I'm surprised you haven't got spare lippy stashed around the house, car and other living areas. Just in case...

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hey Pearl, I know EXACTLY how you feel. So shop, shop, shop and get a lipstick for every purse, drawer and room you're in.

And, I just saw the Today Show and it looks like you got some pretty serious weather over there. I hope all's well.

xo jj

jabblog said...

Don't worry, your secret is safe with us;-)

jenny_o said...

I wish I could wear lipstick and have it be an improvement. Either my lips seem to disappear into my face, or it looks like a slasher got me. And even if I could find the right colour, it would be chewed off by lunch time. Issues? No, why do you ask?

ThreeOldKeys said...

some of us chew it off so we can't be trusted to have it.

stick, balm, butta ... bite it, chew it, wear it on your teeth.

Douglas said...

You don't keep 4 spare tubes in your purse AND your office desk? Are you sure you are female?

Cheeseboy said...

You have the same feelings toward lipstick as I do deodorant.

Roses said...

Fight for your right...

to be girl-lie!

Slather away honey.

Mandy_Fish said...

I feel the same way about lip gloss. When I was a teacher, I had one student who would tap her lips and look at me if I had forgotten to put mine on. They were so accustomed to seeing me with it on, that they most definitely noticed if I was missing "a little color."

Drake Sigar said...

I can relate.

Joshua said...

I do have an addictive personality. Had to cut the alcohol, but stuck with Red Bull, video games, and movies.

Pat said...

I don't go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without my lippie.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Every other week or so I have to unzip all the little pockets in my briefcase and harvest the lipsticks to return them to their basket in my makeup drawer. I usually put on the face o'the day and put the lipstick o' the day in a pocket for touchups, until there are two ill-advised colors left in the basket and my case is a cosmetic Advent calendar. And there is never, ever a pocket on my person where a Chapstick cannot be found. I even have a lip balm the flavor of a popular local (Finger Lakes, NY) wine.

I'm worse about nail polish, though. If I have a chip, or even if I'm tired of the color, I'll sit and stare at my nails and wonder if I could get away with re-doing them at work. (The true answer to that question, surprisingly, is yes, I probably could, but I don't want to bring the smell into that environment since we are sequestered in the windowless basement of a courthouse.) Usually I redo them the minute I get home.
Its a sickness.

lisleman said...

I've heard about chapstick addiction but just regular lipstick huh?
Did you see the last Batman movie and the lipstick freak joker? Now I'm wondering what your reaction was.

Charlotte Ann said...

Working the midnight shift..when the relief crew showed up at change of shift in the morning, I always made sure I put some lipstick on before they arrived. It was amazing how they would all tell me how alert and awake I looked....which was a good thing. I was watching over patients all night long and didn't want to look as sleepy as I felt!

Pearl said...

You can really fool people with a lipstick, can't you?! Oh you look so healthy/well-rested/happy... Baby, it's all in the lips.

For those of you who've heard of the tornado that ripped through a six-mile stretch of Minneapolis, Northeast Minneapolis was untouched, even if there was a touch down just a mile away. Horrible. Poor North Minneapolis, with their incredibly large trees, REALLY took a hit. We were very lucky.

Daisy said...

I hadn't heard about Minneapolis Pearl. Glad you are ok. Really tragic things happening in the weather these days.

Cake Betch said...

I haaaaaate lipstick. Hate it. You put it on and it smudges off on your glass or mug or comes off when you eat and you've got to put it back on and make sure it's not smudged and it's so effing hard to find a nice color and so on and so on and so on.

I feel this way about eyeliner. I would stop whatever I was doing to buy eyeliner if I didn't have any. I only put it on once a day though :-)

KSK said...

I never wore much lipstick (or makeup in general, for that matter), until I started working for Estee Lauder and found a love for it!

Sausage Fingers said...

Lipstick - it's what I call my dogs dangler when he gets excited...
Cheers, Sausage.

Jocelyn said...

I must have something on my lips 24 hrs per day--and, yes, I know this line leaves all sorts of openings for naughty jokes, but I shan't make them, for I am not crass. Or a whore.

Anyhow, my life changed when first I tried Burt's Bees lip tints...long, thin tubes in a variety of colors flavored with a hint of mint.

Speaking of lines that open up opportunities for naughty rimshot comments.

jenny_o said...

Glad for the update, and that you're okay. Not good for those affected.

Linda O'Connell said...

I can't do without it! Licking the lips only chaps them. Got to have my smackers wet.

The Jules said...

Sounds all right to me, as long as you don't look like someone has been throwing plums at your face.

It's the rest of the KISS ensemble that I find odd for the shops.

Happy Frog and I said...

I wear lipstick on occasions but have never wanted to wear it everyday. However, I cannot manage without tea to which I am completely addicted.

Gigi said...

And this lip-cover addiction that I have is what lead me to discover lipstick that stays on ALL DAMN DAY. Because I'm far too lazy to be re-applying it all day. Yes, it tends to be drying so I now have those "top-coat" things EVERYWHERE.

Belle said...

I like all makeup. If I could get away with those black smokey eyes, I would do it. If i could wear Geisha makeup or Queen Amagdela makeup, I would do it. Unfortunately, people would point and make fun of me and I'm a pussy. I couldn't take that.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I thought of you when I heard about the tornado. Glad you're okay and have safely reapplied. What colors are you addicted - I mean used - to?
xoRobyn

Sioux said...

I never even wore lipstick until I was in my 40's (too much of a tomboy-turned-minimalist). When I went to Target to get a 2nd (different) tube, I spent 30 minutes looking, and ended up with the same color I already had!

I wish I knew HOW to put on eyeliner. I need "a little color" there as well.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Some people like lipstick, others like earrings. If I went to work and forgot to put in my earrings, I'd go to Target on my lunch as well. I felt naked. So I get it!!

Bossy Betty said...

Relax and remain calm. Someone get that woman some lipstick!!!!

That Janie Girl said...

We might be lipstick twinkies. LOVE the stuff.

the walking man said...

If it feels like you left the house without putting your underwear on then you probably do need to go get it.

Cheryl K said...

If it feels good, do it!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I have the same sort of relationship with my mascara wand. Heck, it's a WAND! Magic!

On My Soapbox said...

If I left home without my lip balm, I would leave work to go buy some more!

Susan in the Boonies said...

I really SHOULD take better care of my lips, for my own sake.

But I'm an altruist at heart: I do it for the People of the World.