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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Time, Gentlemen or Holy Hannah, a Three-Day Weekend!

Raised on the formulas of Time is Money, There’s No Time Like The Present, and A Stitch in Time Saves Nine, the measurement of time strikes me as both crucial and futile. O, Second Hand, why do you taunt me so? The “one Mississippi, two Mississippi” of your existence carries such weight – so much power for such a slender little thing.

Like many people, I’ve been chasing the clock all my life. I learned it from my parents, who learned it from their parents, who learned from theirs, who seem to have brought it with them from Europe.

I would like to blame the Europeans, but so few of the ones that I’ve met seem to suffer from an inflammation of Time – or perhaps they’re better at keeping their swelling under control when they’re not at work.

It wasn’t always like this. Does it have something to do with being an adult?

I personally seem to have two speeds: inertia and full-frontal multi-taskification.

Why is there always so much to do? Wasn’t the cell phone, the laptop supposed to ease our workloads?

I imagine when the wheel was invented, people everywhere rejoiced. Finally! No more pushing things! No more dragging stuff!

Why, with the wheel moving things so efficiently, I’ll have time to play cards with my friends!

No, you won’t. It’ll just give you more time to scrape hides, ward off predators, and make those groovy tooth necklaces.

And now that you have more time on your hands, why not get a job, too? I hear Zuk and Urg down at Zuk and Urg’s Wacky Inflatable Mastodons are looking for a receptionist.

Welcome, my friends, to a three-day weekend, the first paid three-day weekend since, what, New Year's Eve?

What will I do with this time? Will I plant more flowers? Will I write that wedding reading I promised for next weekend?

Will I make one of those groovy tooth necklaces?

Just what does relaxation look like?

25 comments:

laughingmom said...

I'm all for measuring time this weekend by how slowly a daquiri can melt...allowing that you drink it slow enough that it has TIME to melt.

Leenie said...

I'm guessing the cavemen were smart enough to know that Memorial Day weather is always rotten. They didn't load up their family and head for higher ground-(ah, a camping getaway in the forest--with everyone else in the world!)--where the weather is even MORE cold, MORE windy and the snow is still hanging out in the shadows.

After months locked inside with all the family there is the temptation to get out and enjoy nature. So there they are in their tin tent with their whole family looking out at all the neighbors five feet away as it rains buckets. Now that is a three day weekend well spent.

Pearl said...

laughingmom, EXCELLENT measure of time!! The dacquiri melt!!

Eva Gallant said...

I'm retired, and I still don't know where all the time goes!

Doubting Thomas said...

"full-frontal multi-taskification" YES! I'm going to find a way to work that into a sentence this week :)

Linda O'Connell said...

Got that right. I've written three essays and one article, on this weekend when I am supposed to be relaxing. Hey, I haven't had time to relax all month, so maybe this IS relaxation.

R. Jacob said...

Alas, I will be working during your 3 day weekend. I also multi task, the ability to do many things badly at one time.

Daisy said...

We had our May 3 day week-end last week - Victoria Day. We try to have one 3 dayer every month, but I think we miss February. Oh well. Thats not really a month anyway. We Canadians are much more relaxed, and our daquiris melt much slower.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I dunno, I've spent several hours just reading blogs. Same thing I do no matter how many days in the weekend! But a little gardening is on the list, if things stay dry for a bit.

Belle said...

My granddaughter went to Europe last year and said their way of living is much slower than ours. People are more relaxed. She said she would love to live there.
I know some Native Americans, and their idea of time is different than ours also. They never sweat it.

Douglas said...

Being incredibly lazy, time has little meaning for me. Since retiring, it has meaning only in terms of arriving on time for golf. Or making it to the Early Bird Specials.

Susan in the Boonies said...

This weekend Zuk and Urg in the Boonies are doing the Tim Conway little-old-man shuffle with the Big Bison: He's Zuk. I'm Urg. Zuk's shuffling, and Urg is holding the Flintstone-model Granite Oxygen tank, as I walk my Bison Zuk on his 5 minute walks 'round the Boonies. Cardiac events call for pre-historic strolls. Time for playing a round of Mastadons? Fiddle-dee-dee. I think not. Time is Indian money: spend it wisely.

lisleman said...

You are so correct about our crazy culture. It's not being an adult. It's our culture and the Europeans are much better at taking vacation than Americans. I really like the wheel example.

Hey not busy? (what an ironic place to ask but irony makes the world spin or something like that) Browse over to Jillsy Girl's blog
http://jillsygirl.blogspot.com/2011/05/its-time-to-cast-your-votes.html
And cast your vote.
Oh I'm so glad you did NOT join this contest because your writing would have kick all our sorry butts.

Antares Cryptos said...

Good post. Not that the others weren't.
Chasing time. *stares into distance*........

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

I vote for the tooth necklace. You can just Send me one with my book. Please. :)

Pat said...

How about a 7 day week-end? Everything comes to she who waits. Trouble is - then - everything takes forever, so there's still not enough time.

jenny_o said...

When you get this figured out, please let us know! Gotta run ...

SherilinR said...

i love your "full-frontal multi-taskification" line! i will definitely need to use that in my near future. thanks!

Gigi said...

The folks at the Good Old Boy Company give us both Friday and Monday off. It's not because they are kind and generous. I think they just prefer to have that extra day doing whatever fancy stuff they do on their four day weekend. So far this weekend has been nothing but full on inertia....although that To-Do list is beckoning - I've been able to successfully ignore it.

River said...

I only work four mornings a week and have three day weekends all the time. I'm REALLY good at relaxing.

Jerry said...

It started off with two time divisions -- night and day. That I can handle. Then some idiot came along and invented the clock. Even worse, another idiot came along and figured out that we could use the clock to make everyone miserable. Time sucks.

Tempo said...

You'll sit at your desk and tap out another wonderful post...you owe us one.
Just kidding, have the best time.

Pearl said...

Hey! Where's today's post?! Blogger is messing with me again...

The Retired One said...

I remember working and feeling giddy with the thought of an upcoming day off....do whatever your heart desires, not what you think you NEED to do on your days off...enjoy, my friend !!!!

Jono said...

This coming week makes us fit five days worth of work into four. We pay dearly for the extra day off.