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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Somebody Called and Asked for "Happy Pants". You Know Anything About That?

“Hey, Stinky.”

“What up, Stumpy?”

I’ve called Mary early this morning – too early, apparently, for us to be concerned with calling each other by our real names.

It is one my personal downfalls – an area where I have the opportunity for growth, some might say – being quite bad with names. I blame it on the number of times we moved as children.

My brother, too, has this hole in his social education. We hear/remember what we deem to be important and leave the rest.

“Hey! Pearl! I saw that guy again the other day.”

“What guy?”

“Oh, you know. What’s-his-lips. The guy with the teeth.”

“And the finger?”

“Yep.”

The best part of that conversation, of course, is that I could repeat it to my sister and she’d say, “Oh, yeah! DuWayne! How’s he doin’?”

DuWayne, by the way, is doing fine; and while he’s still missing that finger, he’s thinking of getting front teeth.

And so while I am very good at remembering faces/dance moves/musical preferences, I’m pretty bad at names.

I’m not alone.

Mary’s Jon refers to anyone he can’t remember as “Fuzzy”.

“Mary! Did Fuzzy call?”

Heavy sigh from Mary. She suffers, this one. “Which Fuzzy?”

“Fuzzy Number One. The big Fuzzy.”

She rolls her eyes at me, a smile on her lips. She shakes her head ever so slightly. “Jon, so help me, I’m gonna come over there…”

He winks at me. “Fuzzy! The Fuzzy with the 2002 Chrysler Sebring bumper cover in our living room.”

Jon, a man in blurring, dizzying motion, has hijacked their tiny living room with a replacement bumper cover for one of his many automotive-repair clients.

Mary manages to laugh and threaten him at the same time. “Oh, my God, Jon, I’m gonna kill you. I’m gonna kill you, then I’m gonna make you supper, and then I’m gonna kill you again.”

Jon laughs.

And you can almost hear him thinking:

What’d she just say about supper?

41 comments:

Jinksy said...

I have the same name blindspot - thank goodness voices and faces have better luck!

lifeshighway said...

I can only half laugh because where I do remember names I am notorious for only pretending to listen to you. So I with John:

"blah blah blah blah supper blah blah"

"Alright! Supper!"

Joshua said...

Is it just the bumper cover? Will the car be coming in piece by piece in the near future?

LeeAnn said...

We have conversations here that go: "Who was that guy in the Mummy?" "Which?" "The Egyptian guy." "Oh, him, yeah. Ralph." "That's a silly name for a pharaoh." "His mom was on mummy dust." "Oh."

Pearl said...

Jinksy, I end up saying "hey! How've you been?" a lot, hoping they won't notice I haven't used their name...

lifeshighway, I have to admit to doing the same thing at times!

Joshua, knowing John, the full car is a possibility. I believe he's been known to store his bike (motorcycle) in the living room as well. :-)

Pearl said...

LeeAnn, very funny!!

Daisy said...

I'm also among those who refer to: "My good friend, Watsisname". Glad I'm not alone.
Barbara

Drake Sigar said...

Why not kill em with supper? It's much more efficient.

Irisheyes said...

@Joshua, it is only the bumper cover for now. Jon turned our kitchen into a paint booth for a period of time and I am telling you..there aint nothin' like the smell of automotive paint in the mornin'! I wish I could tell you it was gone but he brought it outside and then back again last night so he could admire his work!:)I AM a lucky girl!

Mandy's Kidding said...

I'm going to start calling my husband The Big Fuzzy.

Leenie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leenie said...

sORRY tangled finners this merning. Just wanted to say Happy Pants and her Morning Commenteers is a better pick-me-up than a fine cup of coffee.

jenny_o said...

Heehee - love it!

Oilfield Trash said...

I have the same problem with names. And I often mis-pronounce my own kids names. I must be getting old or loony.

jabblog said...

I remember names but sometimes have to go through the whole repertoire of my family's names - that can take quite a long time! - until I attach the right name to the right person. I'm fine with people outside the family. My husband cannot remember names but never forgets faces.

Eva Gallant said...

I forget the names of people, the names of things......my kids tell me this will continue to get worse as I get even older!

Grant said...

That makes no sense. Are you sure they didn't ask for "slappy ants"? Cause I could totally do with a kilo or a gross of those.

vanilla said...

My problem is the same as Eva's. And yes, it worsens as we age. Speaking from lots of experience. In aginag, I mean.

vanilla said...

aging

laughingmom said...

I stink at remembering peoples' names but am great with directions to their houses - that can be embarrassing when you show up and can't remember whose house you're at. Great post again, Ruby, um I mean Pearl.

Susan in the Boonies said...

I don't know anyone who goes by the name "Happy Pants". At least not anyone who has actually owned up to it. And I wish I were better at remembering names. Drives me nuts how I can introduce myself to someone with the best of motives and most loving of intentions, and two seconds later (I am NOT exaggerating, either) I have no idea what they said their name was. Really. There's something desperately wrong with my own level of self-absorption that I can't take the moments necessary to truly focus and GET THEIR NAME!!!

Susan in the Boonies said...

Know what I mean, Ruby?

Jewel??

Whatevs.

Little Ms Blogger said...

My mother always played this game with us as kids. Eventually, as she aged, we stopped guessing who it was (although most times I knew and would tell siblings) and pretended we knew. Is this a bad time to mention my mom is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's.

Cheeseboy said...

So funny. I have this same affliction. However, I can remember 1st grader names after one meeting for life. It's adult names I have the worst time with.

Pearl said...

Barbara, I think it may be more common than we are led to believe…

Drake, see? That’s what I like about you: you’re always thinkin’. :-)

Irisheyes/Mary! So glad you popped in!

Mandy, you should. That’s what I call him. :-)

Leenie, love your tangled finners!

Jenny, I’m glad!

OT, my dad doesn’t remember our names unless he yells them in order of appearance. Either that, or he calls me by his sister’s name…

Jabblog, I’m also quite good with faces, even if it’s been years and years…

Eva, this aging thing is a delightful little challenge, isn’t it?!

Grant, the slappy ants are on their way. I hope you like them!

Vanilla, aging. :-) Do you know they spell it “ageing” in Great Britain? True story!

Laughingmom, me too! If I’ve been there once, I can get there again!

Susan – if that IS your real name! – they say you’re supposed to repeat the name immediately. “Nice to meet you, SUSAN!” And I try to do that, but then I always feel so obvious about it…

Little Miss, awww. That’s tough. I can’t imagine how hard that is on her – and on you!

Cheeseboy, most children are more interesting than most adults!

becca said...

glad to know i'm not the only one who forgets names

Julianna said...

I call every one cranky pants.

No one is alowed to call me cranky pants though.

I prefer to be called smarty pants, because my smarty pants don't make my butt look big.

:)

Boom Boom Larew said...

The older I get, the fewer names I remember. I figure I'm having a good day if I remember my own name. Loved the post, Opal!

Gigi said...

So, I'm confused....is she making Jon *for* supper or is she making him some supper?

Names? Never remember them. I worked with some of these people for 10 years and still don't know their names. Nametags for everyone! That's my motto.

IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

I'm terrible with names...and sometimes faces....have we met???
my kids friends were introduced with nicknames and when they got older it felt weird calling them by their real names.

lisleman said...

funny stuff - When telling stories of co-workers to my family I would say the Italian or the Greek or the single guy. Who needs a name other than Guido?

Irish Gumbo said...

I got distracted by supper, too.

Say, what was your name again?

Sez said...

Wow. Love your blog :D I am enjoying your writing style very much and just loved But Sometimes There's Just a Big Roaring in My Ears.... It's surprisingly nice to know I'm not the only person who day-dreams her way to sleep. Or at any other time during the day, come to think of it. Car journeys are a great time.
Anyway! Thank you for visiting my blog :D I hope to see you there again sometime!
~Sez

On My Soapbox said...

Why on earth would anyone want to repair a Chrysler Sebring? I thought they were all gone by now....

Cuckoo said...

Its funny sometimes when I try to introduce my husband to someone I know but can't remember the name of ..."hey, this is my classmate from school. He works with a big shot ad firm now. his name is.... uh.. uh...uh....uh..." Terrible!

light208 said...

What a great start for a Friday morning. I'm reasonable with names of people, but seems to suffer blanks spots occasionally with names of objects. There's lots of "did you remember to pick up the thingamajig?" and "I need the whajumacallit."

I guess the disturbing thing is that most people that know me well can translate.

Little Miss Sarcastic said...

In my house we call it NDS.... Name Displacement Syndrome

Roses said...

What's in a name?

If it's good enough for that dude who wrote plays, some got made into films...you know in that poetic style...What's His Face...anyway, it's good enough for me.

injaynesworld said...

I can't remember people's names either (although I've yet to come across a horse whose name I'd forgotten). We moved a lot when I was a kid, too. I'd never put the two together before. Damn. You just saved me a therapist bill.

Pat said...

Both my boys had the same initial - now this husband has it too - so I use a universal 'Darling'. They don't seem to mind.

Susan in the Boonies said...

Hey, sweet Pearl, I left you a nice little shout out on my blog: hope you get lots of new readers from it. Love you, girl! http://wildlifeinthewoods.blogspot.com/2011/04/foreign-foods.html