As a person with a keen observational eye and humble demeanor, I am – as is well known in these parts – a big fan of the bus commute.
OK. So that’s not entirely true. I’m sometimes catatonically un-observant, I’m not terribly humble, and I’m not always a big fan of the bus commute.
The bus itself is lovely, don’t get me wrong. An engine, a seat, both roof and flooring intact? That’s all I ask.
But the human beings on said bus? Are they or are they not the most interesting animals on the planet?
Some days, I just feel such love for my fellow creatures. Look at us! How different we all are! Tiny, skinny little people; enormous people; people muttering into cell phones; people doing Sudoku/crossword puzzles; people with their hands down their pants…
Wait. Let’s just save that story. It’s disgusting; and, frankly, satisfying only to the creep that gets on the bus at 17th and Washington, just outside of public housing…
The police know who you are, dude! You're gonna get caught, you know! Just keep it up!
Wait. That may have been a poor choice of words…
Where was I?
Oh, yes. My love for humanity.
Some days, I have such a compassionate fascination with humanity.
And other days, I have a morbid fascination regarding how people see themselves.
Take, for example, the woman who got on the bus this morning. The one with the headphones on.
What was initially obvious was that these weren’t just your everyday headphones but full-sized recording-studio headphones. Headphones with purpose. Headphones that won’t take “no” for an answer.
Immediately following this observation was the fact that this person was in significant rock-out mode. Lip-synching furiously, her head going up-down-up-down-up-down with the metronomic intensity reserved for the meth-enhanced and the chemically unbalanced, this woman was serious.
She was here to rock!
Certainly whatever she was listening to was not audible to the rest of us; but if her facial expressions can be trusted, it was the greatest, rock-ing-est, bad-ass-est bit of tune-age since Jimi Hendrix said, “I think I’ll try my hand at the gee-tar.”
Feel free, by the way, to insert the rockin’ music icon of your choice there. We will also accept Keith Moon, Jack White, Prince, Jaco Pastorius, Buddy Rich or John Paul Jones.
What? My what? Oh, sorry. I guess my “geek” was showing…
At any rate, I am sure that, as this woman amused me, I am, by the same token, amusing someone else.
And isn’t that nice?
Humans. We’re just funny.