I get packets of coupons in the mail. You know the kind: coupons for restaurants; coupons stating that you can buy bread and the mustard is free; coupons for books for children; coupons for male escort services.
OK. Not that last one.
But I’m waiting.
So I was leafing through the coupons, seeing if there was anything I could use in there, when I came upon one that not only made me stop and actually look at it, but one that made me frown with concentration.
Which might’ve been its intention.
“Put Your Face in Hands You Can Trust!”
“Are You Thinking about Botox? Wrinkle Fillers? Peels? Permanent Cosmetics?”
Yes! Yes, I am thinking about that!
“Call for a Free Consultation with a Registered Nurse and Aesthetics Specialist! Mention This Ad and Get $12.00 off (per Unit) of Botox!”
Twelve dollars off, you say. And just how many “Units” am I away from the unlined visage of my youth? Tell me, my little Registered Nurse and Aesthetics Specialist! How many units do you think I’ll need until I am unable to make that “WTF” face I make when confronted with, say, coupons for Botox injections in the “Dear Occupant” portion of my junk mail?
There’s also a BOGO (buy one, get one) on “wrinkle fillers”.
Wrinkle fillers: the natural enemy of the wrinkle.
Well, shoot! Why buy one when you can buy one and get one free? I'd be a fool not to take advantage of this! Where's my purse...
Hell, I'm so excited I'm thinking of doing extra frowning today...
Call now! Your initial consultation is free!
OM - Start Your Day
4 hours ago