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Saturday, March 12, 2011

And This One Here's Where The Aliens Inserted the Probe

I’m betting you have scars. I don’t know why that is, but I’m betting you do. Something in your eyes…

Lately, it seems I can’t make it through a day without hurting myself somehow. I mean, have you seen my hands? No, of course, you haven’t; but believe me when I tell you that I shouldn’t be allowed to bake, go outside when it’s this cold/dry, or even – as happened yesterday – wash flimsy promotional glassware that cannot take the pressure of both a washcloth and hot water…

Of course not all scars are visible. My heart, for example, has been broken in three places. I don’t think the harm’s been irrevocable, but there are spots you still can’t poke without causing pain.

And what good's a heart if you can't poke it now and then?

Those kinds of scars, the broken-heart variety, are invisible to all but the ones who truly know us.

I don’t like those scars. If I’m going to have a scar, I want to show it off, tell stories about it. People get tired of your broken heart!

Frankly, I lie about my scars. Who wants to hear about a simple ice-induced fall into a knee-full of gravel/sand when I can claim that the tiny little pocks are a result of shrapnel?

This scar? My year at Heidelberg.

And this one? Motorcycle rally in South Dakota – I can’t talk about it without violating the terms of my probation.

Wait – is it still lying if I wink while telling the story?

Oh, well, I’ve got to be going. Just a quick walk to yoga – and if I blog tomorrow about how I chipped my front tooth during a Golden Gloves title bout last night (a fight, by the way, that I’ve been training for for years), you’ll know that I slipped on our ridiculously icy sidewalks.

*wink*

38 comments:

Kelley said...

I always get hurt! It used to be me hurting myself. Now, it's one of my two little boys running into me, accidentally kicking me, dropping something on me... Help meh!

becca said...

the unseen scrs are the ones that hurt the most

Everyday Goddess said...

Sending you balm for you unseen scars. Namaste.

GreatGranny said...

'She' has always been clumsy and I love to help it along, well I am a cat.
'She' says she doesn't get hurt, just mad, several weeks later....Mol
Kassey

furiousBall said...

all of mine come from my failed career as a knife fighter. and a ballerina/hobo

Jerry said...

I'm all for braggable scars. Even the heart ones, like the time she dumped me for Brad Pitt.

Bossy Betty said...

Pearl--That chip you have implanted in my brain is working! I was just working on a post on scars yesterday. Freaky, girl!!!

Tracy said...

Pearl,
I honestly opened your blog today knowing i was going to laugh...and I did! Thank you and well, let's see, is it still stealing when you find a dollar on the sidewalk? (wink...)

I hope you had a great time at yoga!

Eva Gallant said...

You always make me laugh out loud! Thanks for the chuckles!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I thine I'll adopt your approach. "My year at Heidelberg" is much more interesting than "yet another tiny squamous cell carcinoma."

injaynesworld said...

Oh, yes, my friend. I know well the scars of which you speak. Take care of your tender heart.

Oilfield Trash said...

I have tons of scars....

Glen said...

the best scars are the ones where you have to undo your trousers to show them off - trust me! The Cod wars were a scary time - I still can't open a tin of tuna without feeling dizzy

Lazarus said...

This most excellent post reminded me of the scene in "Jaws" where they're sitting in the cabin of the shark-hunting boat and Captain Quinn is revealing his various scars and explaining their origin. I could see you fitting in with the crew in that scene Pearl, nicely done!

Leenie said...

I think you should do a whole series of (wink) posts about those scars. Even the stories where you'd have to kill us after you tell us would be so useful in answering the kids questions; and SO much more interesting than the truth. Anyway, truth is so subjective and boring.

Pat said...

The bad thing about skin scars is--though they somewhat disappear after a year or two, they come back with a vengeance, dark and ugly when you get old. As a seasoned citizen, I'm just warning you.

Kara said...

I can always count on a laugh when ever I visit your blog! Thanks!

Jhon Baker said...

the only thing worse than having uninteresting scars is having a lot of interesting ones.

Pearl said...

Just checking in quick before hitting the road for a "Cousins Reunion".

I'm bringing my notebook. :-)

Susan in the Boonies said...

I wink so much from story telling that people think I have a permanent twitch.

I look like Clouseau's boss.

Seriously.

:wink:

Mamma has spoken said...

I think we all have some of those scars, both types, and the stories to go with them.

Cheeseboy said...

I thought everyone wanted to hear about broken heart scars. At least that seems to be the running thing on blogger. Anyway, this post was much more interesting, you are right.

IndigoWrath said...

Mine was shot off during the war. Which ONE? Hell, does it matter?

gayle said...

Outside scars hurt for a little while but it seems the inside broken heart kinds take forever to heal!

Jimmy said...

Scars eh? Which part of my body would you like me to start with? I don't do the oul internal scars thing, I'm a man, we are all devoid of feelings naturally. However, the tramlines at the corners of my mouth smarted a bit.

lisleman said...

oh you would not believe the stories I hear from my witness protection group. Of course I can't tell you.

Happy Frog and I said...

I used to lie that a scar I have on my collar bone was from being in a fight but I actually got it when I had a big boil there that was lanced when I was four. Not quite as good a story I find as a fight.

Thank you so much for your comment on my blog and for adding me to your side bar. I am really chuffed!

I really liked your take on scars both physical and emotional as it got me thinking and that is always a good thing.

gypsywoman said...

born a true leo, i confess to being a bit more concerned with those external scars - and should i ever have one.......but, wait, again, i am a leo! therefore......

very neat post lady, as usual! ;)

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

My hands have it out for my eyes...I swear any chance those hands get their goin' straight for the eyes.
Hand-Eye Coordination?
Pah
It's all about the Hand-Eye Domination.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I'm a klutz too, Pearl. And don't get me started and the heart scars.
xoRobyn

Gigi said...

All of my outside scars are from my sheer clumsiness or stupidity. Maybe I'll "borrow" a leaf from your book and give them more interesting backgrounds....with a wink, of course.

Belle said...

Sorry you fell and hurt yourself:( Heart scars seem to be with us forever, although the pain lessens with time.

Antares Cryptos said...

Scars. They are like carrying a photo album of life with you.

John McElveen said...

Hearts can hurt so badly!

J

River said...

I have more scars thn I can count, some surgical, some accidental. I think the surgical are winning.

savannah said...

i no longer have a heart or a soul, but i do have an outrageous scar on my right leg! i even once thought about having a zipper tattooed over it... xoxoxoxo

the walking man said...

I have had 17 surgeries but I'd have to get as naked as I was when I got the scars...still want to see them?

Hutch said...

My brother, at the beach the summer post his quadruple bypass, when asked by a bunch of kids why his chest and leg were so scarred - raising from his beach towel and pointing at the water - "It was just last summer, when the Great White got me right out there." We never did see them go back in the water.