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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

And I'll Bet He Doesn't Know How Many Licks It Takes to Get to The Center of a Tootsie Pop, Either

The Boy’s had to go into my computer.

“Here’s the biggest part of your problem,” he says, a slight note of disgust in his voice, “you’re running on Internet Explorer, which is garbage. From now on, you’re using Firefox.”

He shook his head in a mock show of sorrow. “You really should try to keep up, Mom.”

“How do you know this stuff?” I asked.

“How do you not?”

I didn’t appreciate the tone of voice, but I understand. He’s deleted unwanted files from my computer more than once. He may not work in computers, but he’s very good with them. I’m continually impressed with his abilities.

And me and my abilities? If all goes as it’s been going, I am next in line to become the woman with a machine somewhere in the house that is flashing “12:00”.

I used to be smart. Oh, how I wish you could’ve seen me back in the day. Now I’m afraid you’ll have to take my word for it. I think I’ve got a certificate somewhere, Proof of Clever-ness or something, but I’ve misplaced it.

I found a pair of socks in the freezer once. Maybe it’s in the freezer.

I don’t like being behind the times. I’m rubbing two sticks together over here, and there are people directly behind me holding out Bics.

Sheesh. Even my analogies are behind the times.

I can’t feel too badly about it, though. We can’t all keep up with every little thing, can we, particularly if we’re not all that interested in it. Just this morning The Boy, for instance, retrieved a wool sweater he bought just weeks ago from the dryer, stunned that it is now half the size it was upon purchase.

Sheesh. How could he not know that you never put wool in the dryer?

Hmm. He knows computers. I know “practical”. Perhaps we can work something out to our mutual benefit.

39 comments:

laughingmom said...

There's an app for that...

Simply Suthern said...

It's hard keeping up. I still use analogies from the Andy Griffith show and the kids are Like HUHHH!

I am up to playing Angry Birds on a borrowed Cell phone.

haphazardlife said...

Tsk, tsk Pearl. Even I know that Explorer sucks. You need Firefox or Google Chrome.

Plus I know not to put wool in a dryer.

Clearly, I win.

-Jazz

Elly Lou said...

I still have to call my mom every time I put an egg in a cup of water. "Ok if it floats its still good? Wait, how does this work again?"

Oilfield Trash said...

Naw the bic lighter was a pretty good analogy.

swenglishexpat said...

Firefox, every time, and wool is itchy anyway!

Louisiana Belle said...

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code. :)

lgsquirrel said...

Over here, Bic was a pen so that analogy would not work too well here either. I tend to hang around and eavesdrop on younger people. That's how I learned about Firefox.

Ponita in Real Life said...

Google Chrome... even better than Firefox, in my opinion. But then, that's just me. I am a mixture of technology and practical... somehow I absorbed stuff from both my parents.

savannah said...

a BIC lighter? wow, the last lighter i had was a zippo...not sure what that means, but i do use firefox, sugar! ;)
xoxoxoxo

Sweet Cheeks said...

When I was really little I remember my mom saying she had to 'rob Peter to pay Paul'. It took me until 2nd grade to figure out she wasn't a criminal. It's just generational.

Before you go beating yourself up, you know what ROTFLMAO means...and I'm sure your parents would need that explained - right?
=]

Pat Tillett said...

Aren't bic lighters made for holding in the air at rock concerts! Or lighting illegal substances at same...

When I use analogies on my kids, they just groan and tell me I'm old... My granddaughter usually says something like, "papa, how old are you? About a hundred or so?"

Joshua said...

It's not 3 licks, that's for sure. Stupid owl. I did it once though. If I recall correctly, it was somewhere around 350, assuming you only licked on one side.

Eva Gallant said...

My sons think I'm an antique with no motor skills. (hence my inablilty to figure out the DVD player and anything more complicated than opening and closing windows on my computer!

Susan in the Boonies said...

Your genius, my dear, lies in the way you craft the words that you type into Firefox. It's good to have a techno genius around. But what you've got, in terms of gifting, is priceless.

Belle said...

I can't keep up with technology either. My grandsons wash and dry everything in hot and wonder why stuff shrinks.

Boxer said...

What's Firefox?

now, ask me about how to get a wine stain out of a nice blouse, control mold with bleach, etc... I'm your Gal.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Hahaha, dude. Internet Explorer is the devil. My boyfriend's a programmer and he says it's going to turn him grey. Every time he designs or codes a site and it looks all lush and beautiful, it always looks awful on Internet Explorer as they're so behind the times, so he has to do different stuff for IE to make things look semi-decent. Plus everyone uses Firefox nowadays, except I think it's clunky and slow so when Chrome came out I got that instead, which I like, A LOT. Zippy fast. Screw Firefox, get Chrome.

Now about that Tootsie Pop...

jabblog said...

I changed to Google Chrome a while back and it's much faster. However, left to my own devices I'd never move forward - it's my husband, daughters, son, grandchildren - who push me out of my comfortable rut . . . ;-/

Douglas said...

How many licks???? I just crunch `em right away. Been using Firefox for some time now. Not sure just how long as my memory is not what it used to be. In fact, nothing is what it used to be.

I try to wait until the bleeding edge of technology is dulled a bit. It's cheaper (often free) to glom onto the thing before the Next Big Thing.

mrwriteon said...

It's all relative, I think. I've reached a stage in which I almost take pride in not knowing certain things -- hmm, there may be a blog in that -- because, as opposed to many young people, I am skilled at certain things they are not, like the fundamentals of spelling and grammar.

Mandy's Kidding said...

I like Safari myself.

Lana Banana said...

firefox?

don't they make a cream for that nowadays?

Meg said...

"its not a Cafeteria!"...what's a cafeteria, Mum??

Jimmy said...

*sigh* I had to get my son to show me how to turn on the wipers in my new car. Old age is a bitch.

HumorSmith said...

I like Explorer. The name alone makes me feel all Magellany, and what's wrong with that?

Sioux said...

Yeah, those new-fangled computer things are too complicated for me. When I needed to turn up the volume on a new computer my son---while still in elementary school---just magically "found" an invisible volume button. Yikes! I'll never catch up.

Gigi said...

Unfortunately, *I* have to be the one to keep up with the technology, whether I like it or not, in this house because no one else can be bothered - even the boy. And I'll second that motion - go for Google Chrome. You'll love it.

Tracy said...

I use to wonder how my mom got so behind the times; why couldn't seh just pay attention and know these practical things...like singers and movie stars; wasn't that what People magazine was for?
Ahhh, now I am 'my mother' I don't know singers who are up and coming...I don't know actors and actresses, I don't know the internet...
oh well, things could be worse..

Sex'n'Fries said...

I remember being smart at some point, I remember knowing more than my kids, I guess nothing lasts

Crystal Pistol said...

Firefox sounds like a good name for an STD.

I'm glad you educated me before one of my snot-nosed kids did. Thank you.

On My Soapbox said...

No Exploder in this house! Don't ask me to set the VCR (oops, DVR), though. ;-)

Flea said...

Hey! I have that t-shirt!

I'm with the Chrome lovers. How could your Boy not know that it's far superior to Firefox? You can even download the Stumble bar for it now! It totally rocks.

Did you know that there is no such thing as bacon rocks?

Kipp said...

...Toby Keith "As good as I once was".

David L Macaulay said...

yup - this sounds like my recently described blog on my bewildering visit to Best Buy.

the walking man said...

It would be a lopsided deal, there is a lot more practical than there is technology. But then I wonder how could you not have dumped Explorer years ago?

Cake Betch said...

Oh man, Firefox is so early 2000's. You need google Chrome. Download that ish and then when the little smartass comes around be like, "OH, you don't have Google Chrome? How do you NOT know what it is?"

River said...

I'm still with Internet Explorer. I'm afraid to change in case I break something.

John McElveen said...

LMBO--15,000 people rubbing sticks at a concert!!!


J