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Monday, February 21, 2011

I Claim This Bus in the Name of France

Today is Washington’s birthday, and while I, personally, am scheduled to work five days a week until three days after my death, it appears, by the look of the bus, that everyone else had the day off.

I try not to be bitter.

Now, I know it’s a holiday that only postal workers, banks, and schools, from what I can tell, benefit from, yet it was a shock to climb on to the bus Monday morning and be only its fourth inhabitant.

Fourth! Not only do I have my own seat, there’s room for a parlor, a large dog and a walk-in humidor.

Finally! A walk-in humidor!

There are precious few amenities on a bus, but now that I’ve got room to expand a little, I’m quite excited about the ride to yoga tonight and have big plans.

What do you think? We knock out the whole front area. I want to see wheel-to-wheel carpeting, curtains, maybe a glass ceiling just to give it a more expansive feel.

On-site seated massage!

Dinner mints on every seat!

Complimentary elbow bleaching!

It’s ridiculous how keyed up I am about the end of the work day.

The ride to yoga tonight is going to be sweet.

51 comments:

Sue said...

Ummmm...WHERE is the MARTINI BAR with MIXOLOGIST?

Just wondering.

Since you have the room and all.

George said...

Elbow bleaching?

Pearl said...

Sue, suggestions are always welcome -- and since someone else is already driving, why not?!

George, all the stars are doing it!

Simply Suthern said...

The drive in was a bit thinner today as well. More than four folks tho.

If you'll knock out the humidor, parlor and the large dog you could place a few rubber mats and Yoga on the bus to and fro each day. Double the workout double the "Out the Window Facing Dog with your Tongue out.

Susan in the Boonies said...

I want a Lifestyle Lift clinic. I need to find my jawbone. I know it's in there somewhere.

Mannies? Peddies?

Grant said...

I don't get xmas or Thanksgiving off unless I take vacation, so I look forward to these "holidays" as the days when traffic will be light.

powdergirl said...

I think on days like this, they could probably find the time to pick you up at your door.

Hilary said...

No Mariachi band?

Fireblossom said...

I would like to see an in-bus pool, with maybe a piano bar in the evenings.

Pat Tillett said...

We have to take our little pleasures where we find them.! How about dual sinks in the master bath please!

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I try not to be bitter.

I kinda knew it was going to go downhill from there. As I sit sipping tea on my OFF day.

24 Corners said...

You know *they will be back* tomorrow Pearl, and you're going to have to make them all take their galoshes off before they get on the bus...you'll need a galosh closet!
Happy remodeling and decorating!
xo J~

(btw-I'm working part time today...kind of.)

my name is Ian said...

you should get your instructor to teach on the bus.

Leenie said...

I say have your name put on the bus and claim that driver as your personal chauffeur. Get some roadies and some guitars and GET OUT OF TOWN. Somewhere it is NOT snowing.

Leenie said...

Pearl Jam.....no wait...Pearl Harbor..uh..The Black Pearl...no...um Lucy in the Sky with Pearl. Oh nevermind.

Sioux Roslawski said...

And don't forget the chocolate fountain. No bus is deeeluxe without one!

Oilfield Trash said...

Ad a wet bar and some of that anti bacterial hand sanitizer and you got my support.

PAMO said...

Just how long is your bus ride anyway?

So funny!!!

Joshua said...

I wish my ride in had been as empty. Cars all over the interstate at 6:45 this morning.

WrathofDawn said...

@George - Elbow bleaching is something LAYDEES who have far more money than brain cells do to make themselves PERFECT.

We poor folks have to make due with the shameful elbows God gave us.

I shall have to remember the expression "I, personally, am scheduled to work five days a week until three days after my death.. " for the next time some one asks me about my retirement plans. Which happens more frequently that makes me happy, I can tell you.

WrathofDawn said...

Or is it "make do"? I no longer remember or care. I'm too engrossed in the shame that is my unbleached elbows.

Sarah said...

Not all bankers get today off :(

Sausage Fingers said...

NOTHING in the world smells as good as a walk in humidor. Hmmmmmmm
PS. I am working, also drinking....

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

put your hands in the aiiir..aiiirr
big pimpin' on the bus tonight
don't be hatin' on my ride tonight

Gigi said...

Would it be rude of me to mention that I have the day off?? Yeah, probably. Forget I said anything.

alwaysinthebackrow said...

Go for a big walk-in closet. That way you can get dressed while on the bus-a big timesaver. You could sleep in a bit later that way. Or, perhaps a cook-to-order breakfast buffet. Omelets and orange juice with hash browns waiting for you on that bus.

Pearl said...

Simply, another good idea!

Susan, Lifestyle Lift? LOL! I wonder… in-transit lipo?

Grant, excellent attitude.

Powdergirl, that’s true – although there’s a big difference between the residential street that the bus goes down (plowed, at least once) and the street I live on (plowed once but right down the middle). For those who don’t know, powdergirl (British Columbia) and I (Minnesota) seem to have been hit with the same storm. Not sure what they got up there, but we got 16 inches yesterday with a couple more expected today.

Hilary, Ah! Good thinking!

Fireblossom, I see no reason we couldn’t add a pool. Heated, please. But karaoke? Isn’t that a little over the top? :-)

Unbearable, OFF? You’re OFF today! Hey! I’m not gonna work if he’s not!

24 Corners, of course. A closet!

Ian, on-board yoga. Yes.

Leenie, Live at Budakan! They’ll love me in Tokyo. (Sorry – old reference to when it seemed everything was “live at Budakan”. I may be spelling that wrong…)

Sioux, LOL. The chocolate fountain!

OT, if that’s what it takes to get you on the bus! And you can sit by me…

PAMO, the best part is that it probably takes less than 20 minutes for me to get from my house to my work. :-)

Joshua, yikes. That hardly seems right, does it?

Wrath of Dawn, LOL! The shame of our unbleached elbows. Honey, how do we get by?!

Sarah, that’s true – I just ran to the bank. SOMEone’s got it off, though, and because it wasn’t me, I’m against it. :-)

SF, I’m a pipe gal myself (Grandpa was a pipe smoker) but I find that the walk-in humidors attract an interesting selection of men, so we simply MUST have the humidor on the bus…

Rene! LOL!!!

Gigi, I’m sorry, what?! Did you just say something?!! :-)

Always in the back row, OK, see, people, this is what I’m talking about. Thinkin’ outside the box, thinkin’ with the commuter in mind.

FreeFlying said...

I'd put in a pool. Then, when you went over bumpy terrain, it would be a wave pool. Half relaxing/half Disney ride!

Eva Gallant said...

I can't compete with the great ideas by the earlier commenters. But I'd go with Godiva Truffles, rather than Chocolate mints. But that's must me and my unbleached elbows. (Note to self: make sure to wear 3/4 sleeve or long sleeve tops at all times.)

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

This reminds me of the Big Bus movie from the 70's. That bus had a bowling alley. I'd vote for a jacuzzi and sauna, though.
xoRobyn

Jimmy said...

mmmmmm sweet yoga, I have many images to mind.

David L Macaulay said...

maybe you can fit two walk-in humidors on the bus to yoga - push the boat (I mean bus) out.

Kate Mohler said...

What's wrong with your elbows?

NotaSupermom said...

What, no barista?

On My Soapbox said...

I vote for a massage!

nick said...

Forget Washington, what about his horses ......

Dan Gurney said...

How bout we raise taxes--- 95% of every dollar past $1 million and use the dough (there would be lots of dough, lots and lots of it) to pay for live bands playing in the backs all the buses from Maine to Mexico? We'd have money left over for the free massages.

injaynesworld said...

I love how it takes so little to make you happy. ;)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Frankly, I've no idea why the public transit system ISN'T all over your ideas--you'd increase ridership a TON with those sorts of services. But then you'd probably have to share a seat...

Jo said...

So glad you stopped by my blog, impelling me over to yours! I love it!

May I suggest a salon chair with a wash basin? I'd love to have my hair done while I'm riding into the city.

becca said...

as always you keep me entertained

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

What is up with everyone having this day off??? I swear there was nobody on the roads, either. And none of my friends e-mailed me, they were all sleeping in and watching crazy TV marathons of old shows.

Sighhhh....

HermanTurnip said...

Having to work today as well (Blah!), it was a nice change to pace to find that the freeway was nearly empty on my trek into work. I got there so early I managed to sneak in a quick nap in the car before I had to report for duty. Yay for naps!

John McElveen said...

BRILLIANT!!!!

uhhh...What's a Bus?

John

River said...

You forgot the big arse TV screen set up over the jacuzzi.

Maundering mutterer said...

I always thought it would be nice to rig out a bus as a home and go touring - would soon get sick of it though. Much better as a ride to work with all mod cons!

Jhon Baker said...

I am glad that today this happiness was yours.

hoodyhoo said...

Honey, that stuff on the seat is NOT a dinner mint...

Munir said...

Yes, bus aminities are always so good. In Kindergarten I wanted to take my patent leather pumps out and put on my slippers at least on the bus. "Not a chance your bus is not a private jet was what the bus warden told me."

a Broad said...

I am sorry, I must have missed the Pet grooming, boarding and lounge area ?

Cake Betch said...

Add government workers to that list of people with the day off. We get just about every holiday you can think of off. Great, but it sucks for me because I'm part time, so I don't get PAID for those days off.