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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Everything's Starting to Click

I got an e-mail this week from an old friend bemoaning the gradually-increasing strength of his “forgeterrer” and the fact that his “rememberer” is broken.

As someone who has repeatedly voted against the aging process – and I think the record will bear me out on this – I must say that this has not been my experience. My rememberer is working just fine, thank you; and except for the occasional confusing foray from one room to another only to find myself standing in front of an open refrigerator for no discernible reason, I remain in full control of all of my faculties.

Hee hee. Had you going there, didn’t I? Oh, come on. Play along, and let’s pretend that we’re not all getting older!

I have an acquaintance who, according to his friends, has not changed one bit since graduating from high school. Still the partying frat boy.

This is not as charming as you’d think.

Just to get under his skin a bit, I mentioned the concept of “middle age” to him. Heartily offended, he said that he was absolutely not middle aged. “You’re 38,” I said, “Just how long are you going to live?”

So maybe 38 is not as middle-aged as, say, 45 or 50, but one is certainly moving towards checking a different box in the demographic information sheets at this point. And apart from the ability to lose weight easier in one’s younger days, what’s the big deal? Would you ever go back to the hormonal, hyper days of your youth? Not in a million years. I was an impetuous, bewildered nutcase in my 20s (and 30s and…). I barely made it through the first time and that was before cell phones, facebook, and rampant tattoos. Can you imagine what kind of horrors I escaped just by not having those things available?

It’s just now, comfortably, comatosely in my 40s, that things are really starting to click for me. And I’m not just talking about my knees and neck here. I mean that things are beginning to make sense. What a relief! I guess in the long run that I’d rather have it this way – being confused in the beginning and then gaining clarity as I go along – than the other way around…

Wait a minute. What was I just going on about? Something about clarity or something.

Oh, well. Whatever it was, I’m sure I’ll remember eventually. In the meantime, I’m going to step into the kitchen for a bit, just to check out what’s in the fridge.

Let me know if I can get you anything.

43 comments:

Kate Mohler said...

As long as you're asking, I'd like my rememberer tuned up! Some carrots too...don't they help eyesight?

Pearl said...

I can fit you in Saturday, as long as I remember to write it down... :-)

Oilfield Trash said...

You are over 40? You don't look a day over 30 in your picture on here.

Eva Gallant said...

With 20 or more years on you, I can testify to the fact that my rememberer...ah, what was I saying?

Bossy Betty said...

I believe I am a better nutcase than I was in my 20's. Apparently, you are too! Ain't it great?

Camille said...

Mornin'Pearl. I was going to make a comment - but I forget. Oh yes...everyone refers to my time in life as "middle age". Don't know bout you, but I'd rather not be hangin'around til I'm 112. Now where's that bourbon and pack of cigarettes?

MJenks said...

I've just recently started checking that new box in the demographic surveys. I still don't feel old, but my body is reminding me that I'm not in high school anymore.

*sigh*

Where is it that we vote against this aging crap?

Pearl said...

OT, the pic over there is three years old. :-)

Eva, I'm sorry -- I wasn't paying attention! Did you say you did or didn't want a coffee refill, hon? :-)

Betty, I am a much better nutcase than I was in all kinds of ways. :-)

Simply Suthern said...

I had a friend who was a regular ole Redneck Peter Pan. He had a ball in everything he did. Me? I matured early(for a guy) and aged ungraciously.

The ole toes do get a bit cold trying to remember why you opened the fridge dont they. Been there, Still there.

Glen said...

the real wake up moment is when you realise that you are now older than the 'sad old gits' you used to laugh so hard about when you were out clubbing, and they were there Dad dancing their hearts out.

I would die if I went to a club now, and not just because it requires staying out and not being in bed by 11, but mainly from the shame of still being able to remember how sad I look

Maundering mutterer said...

Ah! I'm having a go at a mid-life crisis. I'ts a BLAST I tell you. Everyone should have one. To do it properly, you need to take a good run-up. 38's probably a good age to begin.

Sweet Cheeks said...

My first clue that I have reached 'old' came to me a couple of weeks ago. Whilst putting freshly laundered sheets on my bed I noticed on my bedside table the following - two bottles of prescription medicines, lotion for extra-dry skin, reading glasses, sore muscle relief cream and an afghan.

Just put this old cow out to pasture and shoot me now...would you?
=]

Symdaddy said...

Hi Pearl!

I just wanted to pop in and say ... that is, I was thinking of ... er ... you know that thing? The one that er ... the one that ... things! It things like a ... a thing.

Yeah, I just popped in ... why did I pop in?

Oh, hi Pearl. What can I do for you?

David L Macaulay said...

Lucky you pearl; nothing is starting to click with me except my knees!

IndigoWrath said...

Pearl, there is always a reason to be in front of an open fridge. So long as it's not empty, anyway. Oooh, unless you're holding a screwdriver; if you ever work out what that's about, please let me know. Indigo x

Bouncin' Barb said...

I'm now 50 and middle aged according to the rules. I am a kid at heart, I joke a lot and I still wear short skirts when I can. It's a number and I never followed rules well!! haha

Sausage Fingers said...

Youth is certainly wasted on the young.
I can't imagine the stuff I would get into if I was in my 20's now, although I grew up in Miami in the 80's surrounded by drug dealers and pimps and I turned out fine :)
I do like older women except the whole "Turkey neck" goozle thing - Not good.
Cheers, Sausage...

You've Got to Be Kidding Me said...

Now that I'm staring down the barrel of 40 I was wondering what age is middle aged exactly.

Douglas said...

Middle age in the U.S. should be the years around 39. Since average life expectancy is 78.4. Obviously, we really mean "advancing" rather than "middle" age. You know you have reached it when you start thinking the astronauts, local newscasters, and police and firemen look like "kids."

Pat Tillett said...

My wife and I are always laughing at (and with) each other about how poor our memories are getting...I think...

Jhon Baker said...

Like the body, the brain tends to work better with exercise. Try to do different things than normal or change a few things around - my favorite use to be to shower in the dark. I can't do that anymore as I will fall over due to an inability to balance well (accident took a great many things away) but I used to love it. The best is to learn something complex and new - like playing an instrument or crosswording you ass off. Something. I only fear age for the loss of mental prowess, otherwise I long to go gray and feeble.

Grant said...

Tape a note to the fridge that says "You were getting Grant a beer" and all your problems will be solved.

a Broad said...

Ha ! Just try keeping a Rememberer in good shape when you have not only a gazillion things to remember, but a lot of them are in another language :(

Belle said...

I'm sixty and I have learned to make lists or I forget quite a lot. But the lists work fine. I agree about being young - I like where I am now.

Kal said...

I agree with you. I am much funnier and less manic than I was in my 20s and 30s. I enjoy things alot more and appreciate not having to worry about hair loss since that boat has long since sailed. I get really hungover and sick when I drink too much so I don't do that anymore and I just know so much more now and I knew ALOT back then. All in all it's a good trade so far. Except for the diabetes...that was a kick in the ass but now I have the time and freedom to do something about that without having to also worry about family and career.

Joann Mannix said...

Yes! That's it exactly!

I've always been a late bloomer in every possible way. These 40's of mine, I love them with all my heart. I call them my salad days. For the first time in my life I know who I am and what I want out of this life and I am not only comfortable, but gloriously happy in this skin of mine. Except for the fact, that I could use a little less arse.

I don't want any of those days back. You can keep them as I revel in the days before me, spread out like twinkling jewels.

Silliyak said...

Two signs of old age, forgetfulness and and...I can't remember the other one. Forties were ok, 50's were very good, I'm scouting the 60's now, so far so good.

The Jules said...

I'm mature enough to appreciate being childish now.

It was wasted on me as a kid.

Anonymous said...

Understanding and empathy for you, Pearl. I have found in my advancing age the refrigerator is an excellent place to store such necessities as my purse, cooking utensils, extra boxes of kleenex...such an easily recognized storage unit, centrally located and used daily by the whole household. I tend to leave the television remote in the linen closet.

Lazarus said...

Here's a good example of what you're talking about Pearl: Recently my girlfriend found an empty water bottle on her kitchen counter and yelled at me (as I watched football): "This is unauthorized, who did this?!!"

I said "You did, you put that there about an hour ago." That was the last I heard of that.

a Broad said...

I like Anonymous's idea .. put everything in the Fridge !
The remote is rarely out of my husbands hand so I don't worry about it getting lost.

injaynesworld said...

My forties were the best. I really hit my stride and all the angst and bullshit of my mis-spent youth and those retched hormones took a hike.

I like to say, "I may be getting older, but I'll always be immature."

Rock it, girlfriend!

WrathofDawn said...

Oh, yeah, you're going along all Zen and all in your forties, hormones finally under control and all wise and stuff and then... BAM!!! TEH MENTALPAUSE hits ya right between the ovaries.

And if you think your rememberer acts up now, you wait until... until...

What were we talking about?

Does anybody have any cake?

Ugich Konitari said...

Pearl,

I have good news for you. Wait till you hit sixty. Life has been declared circular; well almost. You kind of crib and climb emotional ladders at 40, and slowly climb along the arc, clutching your knees, till 60. That's your peak for the rememberer and the forgeterer.

After that its a swift slide, till you become a child again at 80. I should know. I am at the top of the slide, and the Park is full of all those folks on swings, in their 40's.

From Tracie said...

Those middle aged (or almost middle aged) frat boys are the worst!

I'll take some ice cream, please.

the walking man said...

Truthfully I thought when I hit 50 all those years ago that 35 had been about middle age but now that I fully intend to outlive everyone on the planet I am still just a kid. Wanna go get some tats and see what drugs are available these days with me? We can get some crazy things pierced too along the way.

Susan in the Boonies said...

Answer: Make me a ham sandwich.

Question: What words should never be spoken to a true magician?

(Old people like to play Jeopardy, you know.)

lesinfin said...

You always brighten my day, Pearl. I was born without a rememberer. It used to bother me but it's really a blessing. When I get Alzheimer's, nothing will change =) I'm like, a professional forgeterer! It's pretty awesome.
xoxo

John McElveen said...

40 is the New 80! Wait..I think I made a mistake.... off to research, and will be back in...is it hot in here or just me! Dang Hormones..or is that The Ramones?

Mid 50's is awesome!

J

John McElveen said...

Singing." Doing the I-Pod shuffle...."

Great post!

J

{S.T.U.F.F.} said...

...would never in a million years trade My 'talked-too-much-listened-not-enough' TWENTIES, for my 'I-am-grounded-in-me-and-you-can-state-your-opinion-if-you-like-but-it-probably-won't-change-mine' FORTIES!


GREAT POST!!

P.S.
CONGRATS! on winning THE EVERYDAY GODDESS AWARD

Irish Gumbo said...

My rememberer has been up on blocks for a while. My forgetterer, on the other hand, is workin' GREAT! I think...ah, I can't remember...:)

Steve E said...

My face shows that I've "been around"...and I HAVE ...and i would not trade ONE DAY after age 50 for ONE DAY before--might be an exception....
Came here from "Everyday Goddess"...Good work you do here