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Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Dang Cat's Been On My Computer Again

I found a slight smear of canned cat food on my keyboard the other day.

Funny. I don’t remember eating cat food…

There’s a new icon on my desktop: Haikus.

Who can help but double-click?

Little can, dumped in
Ceramic platter is nice
Where is the garnish?

I glance over at Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys). She is curled up on a folded blanket at the end of the couch. Her eyes are closed, but the set of her ears suggests she is not asleep.

I move to the next haiku, entitled “Rest Easy”.

One eye is open
Oh, yes, I am watching you
Your cash card in reach.

Hmmm. That explains the charges from Amazon. I can’t wait to see what arrives.

Dang cat. I don't know how many times I've asked her not to use my computer. A person could bounce a check or two, and I get spam from Nigeria and Libya for weeks afterward...

Still. I'm glad to see that she's exploring her creative side.

I left her a haiku of her own on my way out.

Winter's heavy hand
The kitty sleeps on my head
I dream of fur hats.

Dang cat.


Gary Baker said...

Lily is my dog
I often use her body
As a hot, foot muff.

Good dog.

Irish Gumbo said...

Clever kitty...perhaps you should get her a separate card, with a low limit.

Or at least teach her how to use one of those little vacuums so she can clean the keyboard!

Unfinished Rambler said...

That's why I don't let the cat in by the computer, at least, not the one in the office.

There's no telling what he would do.

At least, he can't open the laptop...at least, I don't think he can.

Grant said...

My favorite haiku is still:

Haiku are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense

Susan in the Boonies said...

Sardines are yummy.

My empty food bowl mocks me

Weeping for sardines.

Oilfield Trash said...

You have to change the password on your computer or you will have a CATastrophe.

Symdaddy said...

Just between me and you Pearl, I taught Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) everything ... including the dirty tricks ... she knows via MSN chats!

Kitty cat uses brains
Sardines have vacated the bowl
Enter the world of stomach acid.

Cheeseboy said...

Well, to be completely honest, your cat writes much better haikus than I do.

bruce said...

seems like you could use some of steve martin's kitty handcuffs...
cuz you need them now...

good luck!

Bruce Johnson JADIP
Evil Twin
stupid stuff I see and hear
The Dreamodeling Guy
The Guy Book
The Guy Book

jabblog said...

My cat enjoys using the laptop, too. So far he hasn't come up with anything as sophisticated as your cat.

Camille said...

Mornin'Pearl. I do enjoy reading about the girls exploits...especially from afar.

Wee hirsute felines
Create nasal juggernauts
Pass the Benedryl


Shedding pygmy lump
Substantial itchy eyelids
Friggin'cat again

But don't get me started. Oh great - now I'll be doing haikus in my head all day. Thanks a lot.

Peggy said...

My cat is lickin the computer screen. Does that count?
Thank you for stopping by my blog .
You are funny and your blog is very entertaining.
In fact I like you so I'm following,
...and your kitty too

Gigi said...

It will be interesting to see what the UPS guy brings . . . a new collar? Spy equipment? Who knows with Liza Bean....

Eva Gallant said...

I always have to read your posts aloud to my husband. He especially enjoys Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys.).

Laughing Vault said...

nice haiku :)

Anonymous said...

Very nicely evil. Loved it.

Mandy's Kidding said...

The Minneapolis Biteys are known to be rather literary.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Just make sure to continue fostering and supporting the cat's creative endeavors. Otherwise she may kill you in your sleep.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'm starting to wonder if the cat isn't a pseudonym for "Pearl is very drunk today". But she does produce fabulous haiku!

Anonymous said...

The haikus are most assuredly the handiwork of Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys), but the food on your computer was left by Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers). I know this because Dolly was chatting to my cat(Blossum) on Facebook late last night. For hours it was nothing but furious keyboard clicking mixed with obnoxious whiskered giggling. Who can sleep with that going on?
So annoying!

tony said...

a Cat & Mouse Story!

Kal said...

I have tried changing my password or pin number but that doesn't stop the Amiral at all. I think he has a hacker friend in Russia, a Comrade Russian Blue, who gets him all the information he needs that gives him unrestricted access to my acounts. It could be worse. He is not really a cat toy kind of feline so I am not getting boxes of those but I am on the 'Mouse of the Month' club. When those come I just heat them in the microwave and let him take the whole box downstairs and open it himself. I have to admit he is always respectful in terms of remains clean up so I really shouldn't bitch. I just wish he would take some time for me and order us both up some nice Ukrainian mail order bride and her female kitty. I can never get myself to push that SEND button. He got fixed a long time ago forever so he has not got the 'proper' motivations.

becca said...

such a smart kitty

Douglas said...

Cat is companion
life is joyous and full
Wallet is empty

Yeah, I stick at Haiku but I am no cat.

Sarah Has Moxie said...

Liza Bean Bitey
Is, yes, a naughty one, but
She's the cat's meow.

Jhon Baker said...

Windows open
the cat sits

Old house,
even cats walking make
you groan.

Big Fat Gini said...

Be glad it was just a cat, and not a grade school aged boy who thought it would be fun to "pretend" to order Legos from Lego.com.

And always be thankful for banks that call and ask, "Mrs. BFG, did you purchase $1,473.56 worth of Legos?" Because that answer is, no.

Laoch of Chicago said...

One loves felines!

Ricky Shambles said...

It's Choosing to Be:
Lessons in Living from a
Feline Zen Master

Belle said...

If it were my cat she would have ordered snow boots. She loves the outside!

IndigoWrath said...

The bad bad kitty
Will lose her milk and tuna
She will sleep outside

who said...



I am just teasing you pearl, but look! rochere's chocolates, on the porch

Pat Tillett said...

You are hilarious!
Just the cat knowing that you know, is sometimes enough. At least until you leave the house...

Sioux Roslawski said...

What is next for Liza Bean Bitey? Limericks? Then onto sonnets?

Lazarus said...

Haiku writing is
a trick, I just make it rhyme
like a limerick

Good blog post by cat
Doc Seuss said it lived in hat
Pearl's house is where at

Giving up haiku
Attempt now, just no good
Drink some Mountain Dew

Tami said...

Pearl..I've been on hiatus but I'm back. I'm slowly getting back into the blogging groove with entries that are definitely rough around the edges..but I'm back.

And thank God I am because Holy Hell have I missed you blogs.

You've made me laugh out loud a few times tonight. Thank you. :)

injaynesworld said...

I love Liza Bean. She is your perfect alter-ego. I think she's got a book in her meowing to get out.

Anonymous said...

Pearl, can you check yur email? Wondering if a certain date will work for the thing. Latah gatah. TOWPy

Anonymous said...

P.S...Happy 29th! TOWPy

Barbara Blundell said...

Dont overdo it Liza
Keep Missus swet
"Vacancies at Cats' Home"

♥ Braja said...

Oh Liza Bean!! I've missed her :) I remember the piece I wrote about her and wonder, "Who got in my head to write that????"

My own dear little Bali, our b&w miracle, is curled up next to me....he and Liza? A right pair....