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Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Return of MC Mumbles

MC Mumbles - star of both the number 17 bus route and a very special place inside his own head - is back, baby, and mumbling with a vigor normally reserved for the recently paroled.

Sit here, next to me, as we head into Minneapolis. It’s Christmas Eve Eve, and the bus is all but abandoned. The 12 to 15 people normally on during the early-morning rush has been reduced to six.

And MC Mumbles loves each and every one of us.

How else to explain this pre-dawn cabaret?

Look. There he is, up at the front of the bus. See him? How could you miss him? Heading bobbing rhythmically, he is deep within a groove, embedded in a Mariana Trench of a groove. One shudders to think of the depth of this groove. Surely no one man could survive the pressure?

But no! Groove on, my saggy-bottomed friend! Shoulders hunched, lips moving, brows furrowed, his very demeanor speaks of one who rocks hard, rocks often, rocks without equal.

He knows that you wish you knew him.

Mr. Mumbles emits a low-grade rumble, the sound of, perhaps, a tractor trailer dropping into low gear. Up a mountain.

In a fog.

He’s speaking English. Well, I think he’s speaking English. Something about female dogs and farm implements. I don’t know. You listen too closely and you find out things you don’t want to know.

A little selective deafness is a good thing.

Whoops! Here’s our stop. I hate to leave before intermission, but work’s got this “thing” about employees being on time. Restricting, if you ask me, but there’s nothing to be done about it.

We will leave MC Mumbles where we found him: on the bus.

Merry Christmas, my fellow commuter.

And rock on with your bad self.

37 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

Yes, I think there's a Mr. Mumbles on every bus!

Oilfield Trash said...

AH the joys of hip hop.

Pearl said...

Eva, they come standard. :-)

OT, it's "special".

Simply Suthern said...

He might not be mumbling. That might be the actual words.

Pearl said...

Simply, good point!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

MC Mumbles is probably what half your fare is for! Entertainment doesn't come free you know, Pearl. We used to have a woman on our commuting bus who was, how shall I put it politely, not playing with all the pieces intact. Every day she'd mutter to herself incessantly until one day, in a final show of desperate attention seeking bitterness, she got all up in the face of an unsuspecting book reader and screamed, "LOOK AT ME YOU HONKY BITCH!"

Laughing at such times is not the right reaction, I've learned. You kind of had to be there.

Leenie said...

I'm just amazed at how you find something weird/amusing to post about every.single.day. What discipline and creativity. The Pearl Post has become one of the sweet spots of my day. Thanks!

HumorSmith said...

Lucky thing for Mumbles I don't ride his bus. I'd be forced to smack him with an MC hammer.

Roses said...

And you don't have Care in the Community over there do you?

Pearl said...

Vegetable Assassin, I suspect that show will be coming to town eventually. I had a guy freak out on me two days ago. Haven't written about it yet but it's coming. He did not, however, call me a honky bitch. :-)

Leenie, the whole world is pretty weird. :-) Usually in a delightful way but sometimes in a confrontational way. And I'm truly glad you come by, and thank you for the compliment. It may not show, but I've been pretty down lately, truth be told, and knowing you've enjoyed my posts really means a lot to me.

HumorSmith, I'm thinking five out of the six people on the bus were hoping he'd fall out of his seat or something. He truly was somewhere between amusing and annoying, leaning toward annoying. :-)

Tracy said...

Goodness, Mr. Mumbles needs to learn his etiquette! I guess some individuals just don't realize the affect of actions on others...oh well, good for a chuckle...
I don't have pay pal; can I get your book through Amazon? I'd like to have my students read it...let me know :) Have a wonderful day!

Pearl said...

Roses, Care in the Community sounds suspiciously like a mental health facility. :-) We have places like that -- primarily on the highly crowded and potentially WEIRD number 10 bus route, which I can take when I feel like walking six blocks home rather than two. Which is not often. Still. They're over there. Word to the wise: Don't sit next to the guy that hits himself in the head. He doesn't mean to, but he might end up hitting you, and that's no fun.

Pearl said...

Oh, Tracy, that is so sweet! Yes. Send me an e-mail and I'll send you my address: whyioughta2@gmail.com

Tom G. said...

Sigh... in ancient times they used to call these mumblers prophets, and put them up in temples on mountain tops. Now they just ride the #17 bus. So misunderstood.

Pearl said...

Tom, I like how you think. :-)

Vic said...

Merry Christmas, MC Mumbles! (and to you, too, Pearl. Love riding the bus with you. :)

Jhon Baker said...

I am so happy you've published! I've ordered and I would really like it to be signed if possible. Merry Christmas!

a Broad said...

I had a person in the street scream at me once .. what they said was so ridiculous that I laughed out loud instead of 1- ignoring them 2- running for my life.
My husband now grabs my arm and drags me away if he sees me paying too close attention to the homeless / mindless that we encounter here.
I keep assuring him they aren't interesting, I can't speak their language, but then he said, no one does.
He has a point.

becca said...

i think i might have met him before

63mago said...

Hello. Thank you for your friendly comment. I'll hang around a bit if you do not mind. Ey - Roses! Gimmie a fag, innit?

xl said...

Happy Christmas!

Belle said...

I was on a 9 hour bus ride once and the guy across the aisle started talking to me. I was being polite, so he asked me out. He said he was on a three day pass. I never did find out from where, but I think it was from a mental home. He must have recognized a soul-mate. Merry Christmas!

Tay Talk said...

Confession. I just got done watching the music video for Kesha-We R, who we R. Yeah, don't ask. Any way. The whole time while I read that post I had the beat of that freakn song playing in my head. While I resent listening to that song, it made your story that much better.

dogimo said...

MC Mumbles and DJ Honky Bitch has a world-tour ring to it.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You know, I think he could be my next door neighbor!

Stopping by to wish you a great Christmas, Pearl. Thanks for a fun-filled year of writing. I always enjoy stopping by. xo jj

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Something tells me MC will be having a Merry Christmas. He likely has one every day.

I hope you do too, Pearl.
xoRobyn

Symdaddy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Symdaddy said...

(2nd attempt ...had one sherry too many)

I worked with MC once ... I'm sure it's the same guy ... but I didn't know that he had bus, girlie-dog and farm implement 'interest'!

Meilleurs vœux ! ('s ok when said in foreign)

Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année!

Oops!

'scuse my French.

Argent said...

We have an MC Mumbles franchisee or two over here in the UK. Care in the Community is the name for when they kick psychiatric patients out of hospital before they're properly recovered and they then go on to have starring roles in the 6 O'Clock news.

Keep you chin up, your posts absolutely kill me (and not in a stabby-Care in the Community way).

Merry Christmas to you and Liza Bean and Dolly Gee

hoodyhoo said...

Maybe he was shopping for a Christmas outfit? "Gotta get me some britches and hose, britches and hose, britches and hose."

Gary Baker said...

hoodyhoo's a hoot.
A few days ago an old lady on the bus saw me frowning at her as she bobbed 'n' knitted, bobbed 'n' knitted. She lifted her woolly hat, yanked out an earpiece and yelled at me, 'Barry Manilow!' by way of explanation. Is this hood down wid it or what.

Scarlet Blue said...

Merry Christmas, Pearl.
SXXXXX

The Unbearable Banishment said...

We have guys like that in the NYC transit system. We call them time bombs because at any moment, they can go off and hurt someone.

Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas to your frozen self.

The Retired One said...

Oh, but without the Mumbler how are we going to get our chuckles from your description of him?????

Pearl said...

What lovely comments.

:-)

Gary, your book is a stitch. So smart and so funny! About a third of the way through...

bettyl said...

Congrats on the book!! We are all so proud, even if we don't live in MN!!

Hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

alwaysinthebackrow said...

Too bad for Mumbles. He just vocalizes what is going on in his head.....Whoops!---did I say that out loud? Lots of stuff going on in that head.