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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

And On Still Yet Another Hand, Well, You’ve Got Three Hands Then, Haven’t You?

On the one hand, I’m glad that there are young men out there secure enough to wear their long hair up in a bun.

On the other hand, I wish they’d stop.

Once again, I am at odds with myself.

One of the coffee-slingers at the Starbucks I frequent has taken to wearing his hair in a bun. There it sits, atop his head, a confusing mass of tucked-in bun-ness. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a big fan of long hair. I’ve dated men with hair longer than my own. But had they shown up with it in a bun – well that just smacks of Mrs. Claus, doesn’t it?

Wait. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s a seasonal affectation. Maybe there’s a movement I don’t know about, trying to bring Kringle fashion back.

Sure. That's it.

And for Easter, little chocolate eggs will drop out of a specially designed chute in his pants.

No. I don’t buy that, and believe me, I buy a lot of the stuff I make up.

I want to ask him, “What’s up with the bun? Braiding too good for ya?”

But no. I won’t. He is young and hip, and I am simply part of the early-morning coffee crush. I am “Venti Bold, room for cream, right?”

Right.

Of course, it is possible that his view of me is as skewed as I’m sure mine is of him. I see a hipster, a man with his hair tucked into a bun, a man at whom I smile as I mentally envision him in a large red velvet dress with tiny wire-rim spectacles; and he sees a middle-aged woman, one of hundreds that line up for delicious, over-priced coffee who feels pressured to leave her change because someone poured her a cup and walked it two feet to the counter…

Great. Now I’m trying to think of ways to freak him out.

The truth is that no one really knows what they are looking at. Perhaps there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for a 20-something U.S. male to be wearing his hair in a bun.

Perhaps the explanation is that it’s none of my business.

Either way, I like a bit of mystery. Loch Ness Monster, the chupacabra, the Kardashians. Who knows what is real anymore? Life is a series of discoveries in varying degrees: I may never know the reason for the bun, and he may never know the reason I grin the way I do when I see him.

I’m okay with that.

42 comments:

Simply Suthern said...

Being folically challenge I am envious of a good head of hair. I resist the urge to do the comb over or wear it in a skullet. I am often of the thought tho that if I had that guys hair I sure wouldnt have cut it like this or that and for goodness sake I would have washed it in the past 6 months or so. So if there is any mistreated locks or orphaned hair out there reading this and looking for a new home I have cleared the foundation and ready to plant.

Symdaddy said...

Don't get your knickers in a twist over it Pearl!

Young folks these days will do anything to be different ... I just wish they wouldn't all do the SAME THING to try and achieve it!

In a shop just down the road, there is a guy who not only wears his hair in a bun but also, in summer, will wear a sarong-style skirt. He refers to it as a kilt, but it's down to his shins and is black with gold threads through it.
And ... shock, gasp, horror ... he has no sporran!!!

He is affectionately referred to as Mr Girlie-man by the local kids, but he says his karma is 'well cool' with that.

Personally, I think the guy is just plain weird.

Having said all that ... as a man with a balding head, I would just love the chance to have long hair ... well, any hair, really.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I'll take a bun over carelessly lumped white-boy dreadlocks festooned with giant wooden beads. There is an otherwise-handsome young man at my co-op whose head looks like a discarded macrame owl.

Kate Mohler said...

Very funny! I too have wondered about the male-bun situation. Just figured I'd missed another cultural shift.

Grant said...

If you want to freak him out, run in wearing flippers and a tutu screaming "BOOFLAKKEN!" while juggling three dead chipmunks. Then demand your coffee for free. That should work until he becomes desensitized.

Elizabeth said...

Last month on an airplane, I was seated next to a man that I would guess was in his 50s. He wore his salt and pepper hair in an oiled pompadour in the front and a bun in the back.
He was also wearing Ugg boots, two pairs of glasses and was sewing.

Eva Gallant said...

He is trying to keep his hair out of your coffee!

Janis said...

Pretty sure that creepy grin you give him is enough to freak him out... 'Is that middle-aged be-speckled woman hitting on me? Is it the bun?'

Oilfield Trash said...

So you found the male version of Princess Leia huh?

Cheeseboy said...

Perhaps the bun is a symbolic symbol of sorts? Symbolizing his desire for women to ask him about his bun so he can make conversation with them and ultimately ask them out.

Either that or he is just a dork. My vote is dork.

Little Miss Sunshine State said...

Hey Pearl! Thanks for stopping by my blog. It was a moment of "who is she and how did she find me?"

I am officially in love with your blog and also your commenters. I'll be baaaack.

Boom Boom Larew said...

Who knows what treasures are hidden within that bun?

Jinksy said...

I like my buns iced, if that's any help?

imbeingheldhostage said...

Could be worse, he could be wearing one of those elastic head bands (remember Loverboy? No? How about Olivia Newton John?). Wait, I just realized the footballers are wearing those now...

Kristine said...

I bet that bun is hiding an extra nipple.

Leenie said...

Hair in a bun is bad. But the guys who still try to wear a pony tail when they have gone bald just make me laugh. And...are you saying the Kardashians are real like chupacabra?

Putz said...

COMPENSATED FOR stories//////,.,.,.,.what would the fun of that be??????

Rezden said...

I don't know if I should laugh or be sad. I'm more inclined to be sad because this does not bode well for our future. I just hope he never makes a difference in this world.

Roses said...

How come I've missed this? A bloke with his hair in a bun? Oh man, I'm just green with envy now.

Mind you, my teenager is pierced and is styling his hair on 80s electronica sculpture, so I tend not to notice the weirdos unless they're spectacular.

I'd have noticed a bloke with a bun.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

This entry pleased me more than any blog post should. Some things are just funny. Like you. And dudes who like buns in their hair. I too have seen the young 20 something fella sporting an old lady do. I'm not sure what I think of it. There's a guy in my local Subway who wears two ponytails - one on each side. Like a ten year old girl in 1975. I've never seen him without them. I imagine he'd look sort of like a blonder Jesus only wearing a Subway apron.

Also, next time you order your coffee ask if you can have a "bun with that" and see if he shoots you the stink eye.

Jon in France said...

The bun on the head thing is quite popular around here amongst the horse riding / anachist community (surprising amount of both in rural France) but I confess I have never felt the urge.

I'd wear a kilt more often if they weren't so warm.

If you must juggle dead chipmunks, please ensure that they are relatively fresh.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I'm with one of your three hands on this one, the one that wishes they'd stop doing it. It doesn't even look good on Mrs. Claus. xo

Charlotte Ann said...

This is a "collective" comment, not specifically aimed at this post. I'm convinced you used to write for the show "Seinfeld" (sp)
It was a show about "nothing" and everytime I try to tell my friends about your blog, I end up sounding like an episode of Seinfeld. A show about "nothing" though most entertaining and impossible to describe to anyone.
You were a writer for that show..am I right or am I right????

becca said...

what an insightful thought bun verus braid i personally think he is trying to keep up with all the elderly ladies that wear their hair that way. he feels out shined by their fashion sense.

The Retired One said...

I LOVE that you had the Loch Ness monster and the Kardashians in one comparison....tee hee

Suldog said...

As with the first responder, I'm saddled with an amazing lack of hair.

(Where it should be, like on top of my head. If we want to talk ears, nose, and... no, I suppose we don't.)

Anyway, when I was younger and had flowing locks of bright orange hair over my shoulders, My Dad would constantly harp on me to cut it. And I took ribbing from complete strangers upon occasion, too. It was the early seventies, battle lines were drawn by the length of your hair. Anyway, I liked my hair and I only got about two or three years of enjoyment out of it before I began to go bald. And what I'm getting at here is that I learned then to never abuse anyone about their hair (or lack thereof.) I would have been much happier had I been left alone to enjoy it while I had it. I would never cut anyone else's happiness short as mine was. So, your course of action, which is inaction, is to be commended, IMHO.

Gigi said...

How have I missed this phenomenon?? Wait - maybe I'm glad I have; but now once I do clap my eyes on a bunned up man I'll be picturing him as Mrs. Claus.

Ponita in Real Life said...

I've never been a fan of long hair on men, and as they age, getting thin on top, well that then becomes a 'skullet'. Not a good look at all! Neither is a bun on a man. I much prefer short and well groomed. I don't even care if they have any at all. Just not long...

Douglas said...

I once had long hair. Fairly long... down to the bottom of my shoulder blades. I wore it in a ponytail while at work or riding my motorcycle (the latter would see it tucked into my jacket). I wore it that way at work because I often used a soldering iron and melting hair smells rather bad. But at no time would I have ever thought of wearing it in a bun. I would have seen Mrs Olson (remember the Folgers lady?) in the mirror. Ok, a skinny, bearded, biker Mrs Olson but you know what I mean.

Why did have long hair? I saved about $1000 in haircuts at a time when they only cost $5.

Kittie Howard said...

What a fun post. And fun comments! Blog Central! If I could even glean a sliver of why guys do what they do, buns included, I'd be so rich (book, Oprah, Jon Stewart) my assistant would be typing this. However, in all probability the guy's a dork.

bruce said...

buns and coffee...they go together, right?

Bruce

stupid stuff i see and hear
and
bruce johnson jadip

mrwriteon said...

Yet, is it worse than balding, gray-haired old farts with pony tails? Arguably not.

Marlene said...

Ha ha ha.....I think a dude with a bun in his hair qualifies as Parisian, no? Maybe I've watched too much tv. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Flea said...

Oh my word, Pearl. I live in Oklahoma and don't get out enough. I've yet to see a boy-bun. Yet, somehow, I don't feel I'm missing anything because of it.

HumorSmith said...

Aren't Kardashians and chupacabras the same creature?

Betta sp said...

it's a real life movie. although we walk in the same path everyday, we'll never know each other unless we meet, we talk and we share a story:)

lisleman said...

the neighbor kid put big metal washers in his earlobes holes - the bun would have been better at least it's easy to undo.

Das Auto! said...

i agree with your view on the "bun" in the sense that it doesn't quite suite the male physique. it's too feminine. i suppose some people are just comfortable enough within their social group and with their own self image (or in this case, with their masculinity) to sport such an appearance. i think it's similar to guys who wear tight jeans, etc.. plus, for someone in his profession, the health code may actually require him to either put his hair in a ponytail, bun, or hairnet

Rek said...

well, a bun on the head is better than rings on the tongue...he is groomed at the very least...I wish He would donate some of his tresses to me...

Kal said...

First is the bunwich on his head, then it's the Princess Leia headphones and next we have to accept men in sandals and culottes (sp?) I draw the line at knee length pants on men - thats when I swing at shovel at him like his head is full of pinata candy. So stop the madness early. Get a nice haircut Pokahontas.

Carlotta said...

Isn't the bun or hairnet required by law for food servers? You don't want that guy's hair in your coffee!

Jhon Baker said...

I have a tattoo on my hand - two in fact, one is of my wedding ring and the other of OM - no one cared about these for a long time and then one day we got a new VP and he demanded that I cover them with makeup. Makeup! I did this for a few weeks and then made my leave of the company. The bun may well be a reaction to the absurd rules of Starbucks.