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Friday, November 12, 2010

Maybe I'll Just Take It to A Movie While We Get Acquainted

It’s been a pensive, introspective kind of week for me; and so in an attempt to connect with something other than myself, I’ve adopted a word.

No, you heard that right. I adopted a word. A lonely, under-used word. Like the words “jalopy” or “davenport”, my newly acquired charge has seen better days.

It’s a good-sized word. Likes to be taken out, trotted around. Also, according to the flyer, enjoys long walks on the beach and bubble baths.

Its pet peeves are cheapskates and hypocrites.

It’s a lovely word, though, picked at random, and it gives me hope.

Theomancy: divination or prophecy by an oracle or by people directly inspired by a god.

Almost like it’s meant to be, iddin it? Because what do we do here on Fridays? That’s right. We wish for silly things, like being able to divine the future; and for the last two and-a-half years I’ve been trying to convince rational, intelligent people like yourself that my iPod, set on shuffle for the week, has the ability, Friday morning and during my commute, to tell the future.

I’m here to tell you that my iPod is theomantic.

So what did the iPod say this morning?

My Party by Kings of Leon
Cubicle by Rinocerose
She’s in Parties by Bauhaus
Kick Out the Jams by the MC5
Love You To by The Beatles
Getting Down by The Kills
Dimension by Wolfmother

Relax, says the iPod. How ‘bout you lay on the floor in front of the stereo, cover yourself with a blanket and make up stories where your true identity as a super hero is slowly revealed to an adoring audience?

That’s what we call “sound advice”, and something I would put into practice right now, if I had a blanket at work…

The computer is down, you see; and in a moment that will no doubt set my high school teachers’ heads all nodding sagely, I’ve discovered that I’m rather useless.

I mean, look at me! See those? Those are my hands down there, heavily swinging from the ends of my wrists. Poor saps. Without the keyboard, they are useless, and they know it.

What would the pioneers say? Great-Grandma’s out there somewhere trying to sweep the dirt floor of a sod house, drying her bloomers on a clothesline over the potbellied stove in the kitchen, and here I am staring at a blank screen…

Enjoy your weekend, my pretties. Stay warm, have a drink on my tab; and if you find yourself doing something useful, think of me, won’t you?

25 comments:

Simply Suthern said...

I decided to work from home. So I have my blanket, my PJ's amd my bedroom slipper keeping me warm as I draw lines and cicles on my screen. I occasionally hold my fingers in front of the Laptop vent to grab a bit of extra warmth.

Computer down?? Dont even kid about that.

Irisheyes said...

I am actually drying my granny panties over the heat register right now, if this makes you feel better!:) I so wish I were joking.

Willoughby said...

Theomancy....another word to work into conversation today. I'm headed to the supermarket later, I'm sure I can toss it into a convo with the cashier.

One day (in a previous life before my children were born), when the computers were down at work, my boss suggested (get this) that I use a type writer to complete a document I was working on. Like that was really going to happen! I think I went out for coffee until tech support got the system back online.

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

LOVE it! I think I'll adopt a word today, too. Actually, I'm intrigued by one you used here: Jalopy. That's a fun one! I'm going to see how many times I can work it into a sentence today!!

Hope your computer's back up and running soon!!

Eva Gallant said...

Computer crashes are the worst!

SeaD said...

Pearl, I would love to buy you a drink on my dime. It's the very least I can do for all the joy your stories bring me.

LceeL said...

When your computer goes down? *blink* Wait a minute ...I WAS going to say to go to my blog and click on the "Phone" thingy in the upper right corner of the page and "Call Me" and I would attempt an 'over the phone' diagnosis and remediation. The I *blinked* again and thought to myself - if your computer is down, how are you doing this post? Hmmmm.

As the German guy in the weeds would say, "Veerrrryyyyy eenterestingk". Lucy.

LceeL said...

*blink* *blink* Upper LEFT corner. Sorry.

Oh. And thanks for stopping by.

p.s. You have to be the only person I've ever seen with a "blogs I follow" list that long.

Jinksy said...

Staring at a blank screen is the perfect time to let your mind come up with the missing words and pictures! LOL :)

Grant said...

Those religious words are scary. Sure, you start with something innocuous and you proselytize it for awhile but then you start genuflecting and using it to inflict papal abuse and before long w're living in a theocratic oligarchy and I have to beat down the pope (again) because he hates it when I put on my collar and preach under the name Adolf "Thundercock" Capone that contraception is good and guilt is the devil's doing.

Sweet Cheeks said...

700 followers!!!!!!!

Oh yeah...Oh yeah...doin' the happy dance for you!

Congratulations, Lovely. Job well done. =]

Symdaddy said...

Varnished removed from doors, door frames and skirting board and re-painted ... three tubs of paint on the walls (1 Toffee, 2 Natural Wicker) and four days of my life gone forever ... blog-time limited to just minutes each day ... but now I'm back!

What have I missed Pearl?

(Tired! Can't read...sorry)

a Broad said...

And here I was, trying to think of how exactly I could be Completely Useless this weekend ...
besos

HumorSmith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HumorSmith said...

I think I shall adopt a word also. Do you know if "f***" has found a home yet? I'd like to keep the little bugger off the street. Maybe teach it some manners.

HumorSmith said...

Wish I'd thought of the added cleverness in my first comment. Now everyone is probably staring at "This post has been removed by the author." and imagining all sorts of perverted ramblings.
I wouldn't do that to you, Pearl. I keep that kind of stuff for my blog.

Stacy Q said...

I adopted the word "serendipity" a while back, we just ran into each other by happy chance and struck up a conversation. It was lovely. We keep meeting occasionally, and have formed a close and happy bond. I love that word.

Kim Ayres said...

So who is the god of iPods, and if there's a vacancy, to whom to we apply?

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

That's a great word to adopt. I advise against changing its name when the adoption is finalized. xo

Christine said...

Theomancy, most interesting and I've never heard of it before! And you used it well, I must say!

Lisa said...

She's in Parties!!!!!! Thank you for that reminder of the good old days.

Kal said...

Well if you are going to play superheroes I can offer you the Supergirl or the Batgirl costume. Or we can combine the two and you can be SuperBatgirl. Your choice. I will just be over here operating the video camera. Stay in the light.

Roses said...

I too have adopted a word. Pigritude.

It turns out, we've been well acquainted for many years. It's an adjective that will be describing my weekend...apart from when I cook dinner for some friends tonight.

Boom Boom Larew said...

The iPod IS the oracle!

Bossy Betty said...

I gotta get me a word to adopt.