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Monday, November 22, 2010

I'm Gonna Blame It on the Day-After-Thanksgiving-Day Christmas Sales

You know, it’s not like it’s on a different date every year; so why do I feel like Christmas is creeping up on me?

And we haven't even gotten to Thanksgiving yet!

Yet there it is, Christmas: as warm and buttery as the light in Grandma's kitchen.

There it is, there on the calendar between Thanksgiving and my next sick day (wink wink).

The days and nights between now and my New Year's hangover are a flurry of decorating, shopping, cooking, parties, phone calls, and moments of real contentment.

And then? Apr├Ęs Christmas? What then?

Then, my friends, comes the Winter In Earnest. Nothing on the horizon but work, snow, and work in the snow.

So bearing that in mind, and realizing that there is a good chance that it is true that Christmas is on the 25th of December simply to over-ride a pagan solar holiday, would anyone here have any objection to my moving it out to, say, February?

Because there’s nothing to look forward to in February.

Is that okay with you guys?

Think of it! No Christmas carols in the stores immediately following Halloween! No rush of activity between November 27th and December 25th! No more trying to save your paid vacation time until the end of the year so that you can take Christmas week off!

Oh, sure. February has Valentine’s Day (AKA Singles Awareness Day), and Presidents’ Day, but neither include time off. True, you may get chocolate or flowers for Valentine's Day; and there are some great sales (linen and towels! wheeee!) during The Presidents’ Day Sale-ebration (sorry everyone), but honestly, the next paid holiday after New Year’s in the U.S. is Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is in May.

May!

And you know what?

It’s at the end of May!!

How in the world did we do it last year, and why in the world are we doing it again? Beginning of January to end of May without a paid day off in sight!

I’m getting dizzy just thinking about it.

I can see the headlines now: Woman On Downtown Bus Swallows Laminated Metro Pass in Protest of the Five-Day Workweek, Demands More Paid Holidays.

Sigh.

37 comments:

Oilfield Trash said...

I get several paid days off from Jan 1 to the end of May.

I get MLK, Presidents Day, Good Friday, Spring Break. I could go on and on but I don't want you to eat your bus pass.

Simply Suthern said...

Here at Scanners-R-Us we have 5 fixed Holidays and 4 Floating Holidays to address just that issue.

Have a deep seated urge that you should be off February 2nd for Ground Hog day? It's all yours.

Hold Dr. Suess in high regard? March 2nd can be your day.

Or you can create your own Pearl's Why I Oughta Day.

Pat Tillett said...

Please put me in a coma the day after Halloween and wake me up the day after Valentine's Day.

I first spelled coma as comma, that's fitting since I don't seem to have a clue as to how they are properly used!

great and funny post!

Bossy Betty said...

I am SO with you on this one! Let's do it!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Your idea is brilliant until we have Christmas in APRIL sales to get ready for the next one. Winter blows--sadly, most of the world doesn't live near us, so they think December is a GREAT idea for celebrating happy holidays.

Big Fat Gini said...

I'm on an anti-holiday kick right now. I feel like sticking it to The Man. So, while your idea is probably very fabulous, I'm not feeling it today because I'm a Grinch who hates everyone and everything this time of year.

Even the 80 degree weather. You know it's sad when your kids go play out back and make a small pile out of the three dead leaves, then jump in it yelling "wheeee!"

Grant said...

Martin Luther King day is in January. Have you bought your decorations for that yet?

Simply Suthern said...

BFG, Gimme your Address I can fix your 3 leaf issue.

Kittie Howard said...

I'm totally with you! I'm also sick of sales...don't even go...how much stuff are we supposed to buy...eeeeek? Don't need a new tv, toaster or mattress or...well, could use a tummy tuck but never see those on sale, hmph!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

alwaysinthebackrow said...

But this is your last chance to have a positive effect on our US consumer economy! Don't you feel that it is your citizen-ly duty to get those last days of shopping in so that we can show some positive economic statistics and show the world that the recession is ending, and we, the American public believes in this world-we will lead the world out of the darkness and into the light of prosperity and goodness.
Wait-I'm broke.
Can I charge it?
Will that help?
If we wait until April, maybe I will have my tax refund to spend.
Oh, wait.
Maybe not.............
Guess that the Chinese New Year will have to save the world.
Bah, humbug!!!!

Karen said...

We get Mardi Gras and Good Friday off so it's not TOO bad. Would like more pto though.

It is the job of Christmas to sneak up on you. I really think it's a law or something. I don't worry about it anymore. My kids get a money tree as a gift each year. Mom doesn't like Christmas nor does she like shopping. I only did it when they were little because I was forced to. My mother would've killed me.

WrathofDawn said...

I would tell you that we get St. Patrick's Day (Mar 17), St. George's Day (Apr 23) and Victoria Day (May 23) as paid holidays between Christmas and Memorial Day but I'd be afraid you'd make ME eat your bus pass.

There has to be SOME compensation for living on an island in the North Atlantic, I think.

Kate said...

The surgeon I work for doesn't celebrate holidays at all. I was all, "We're closed Friday the 25th and 26th of November, then the 24th and 31st of December." And he was all, "What for? Don't you people (Americans) EVER work?!" And I said, "Why no. We don't."

But February? That's about the time of year that I want to stick a fork in my neck because I'm so depressed about Winter In Earnest. I could certainly use a holiday there.

Eva Gallant said...

We stopped buying gifts for the adults in the family 2 years ago when I retired. Now we only have 5 grandkids to buy for. Makes shopping less hassle....sometimes I just buy them gift cards to Wally World.

Tom G. said...

HOLY CRAP! That is pure genius! We could sell it as an economic stimulus. It would add 6 more weeks of Christmas Shopping!

The only drawback might be that I would put on 20 pounds instead of 10, from the extended baking season.

And the psychiatry lobby would probably put up a fight.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Yikes, I've always gotten MLK Day and Presidents' Day off as well. I would explode if I didn't have a single day off between Christmas and MAY! It's my opinion there needs to be a "Cake Day" paid holiday once every month to allow nature to reset itself and harmony to be restored. No?

Kay Dennison said...

I'm just glad I'm retired. It's a great excuse for not getting involved.

Jhon Baker said...

I would love to move Christmas - then I could have my own day - I wonder what it is like to go to a really nice restaurant on my birthday - or to go to a crowded theater and watch the hot new play or musical. Oh to dream....

a Broad said...

Funny you should post this ... we just got a new list of Holidays that have been Decreed by Her Highness, the President of Argentina.
And if the date falls on a Sat or Sun, you get all kind of extra days .. yippee.
We only celebrate Christmas, New Years and our birthdays at my house.. keeps things under control. .. or so says the husband who thought he could get around having to give me a Columbus Day present .. ha !

Wynn said...

We don't celebrate thanksgiving in the more pagan parts of the world where I am, and also, I love having my birthday party surrounded by christmas decorations! So.. feb.. not for me!

Gigi said...

I second that nomination! Let's move it!

Linda Medrano said...

The idea of moving Christmas out till March appeals to me. I think there's way too much time between New Years and Memorial Day too. Plus, that cold nasty weather too. Give me Christmas in March and I'll be happy. Jesus wouldn't care.

mrwriteon said...

I like it. Could you push for it to be international? February is truly a blah month except for the fact it contains my birthday (mark it on your calendar) so you could do Christmas on the 21st and it could be a joint celebration. You know, for those not into Christmas, they could celebrate Ian's birthday and send me expensive gifts.

Anonymous said...

I'd be in favor of moving Christmas to February, but I'd like to suggest we hold this holiday every other year. The commercialization of Christmas has gotten out of control. Stores opening at 3 am, 4 am? All those retail employees who have to work the day after Thanksgiving don't get much a break at all and it's pure greed of those retailers to expect their employees to show up for work at that insane hour. If we celebrated Christmas every two years maybe it would bring back some of the excitement and real meaning of the holiday...and coming from me, a non religious person, that's saying a lot.

EcoGrrl said...

I gave up the holidays a few years ago and my life has been easier ever since. I am a card whore so I still send out a seasonal card or two, but focus on Solstice and my Solstice party I have each year. No shopping and that's fine by me - if I love someone I'll give them gifts when I feel the need, not when the advertisers tell me. And know what? It's awesome, it's genuine, and it's respectful of my wallet :)

PS - January 24th is a national holiday. My birthday. I'm not sure why everyone doesn't take it off...

Flea said...

You could quit your job, live the indolent life, wish all your new days off were paid. That's always an option, right?

Vic said...

I vote definitely for March. March of the Damned is what March is, especially if you teach and it just goes on FOREVER. Christmas would be awesome then.

HumorSmith said...

Great idea. Let's start a petition drive, and then, since Obama clearly has so little to do.....

becca said...

wow i just want to know where did this year go

becca said...

wow i just want to know where did this year go

Cheeseboy said...

I think that some people are just too addicted to the Christmas spirit. It's like crack and Mariah Carey Christmas songs in October is their only fix.

injaynesworld said...

I don't feel like Christmas is creeping up at all. I feel like it's coming at me like a freakin' tsunami. Too much! Too fast! STOPPPPP! So I'm with you. Let's have Christmas in February!

Tempo said...

Presidents’ Day? Hell, we dont even have a president...Obviously we need one, and soon. Just so we can...HEY, Wait up!..did you say theres no holiday for Presidents day? No wonder we dont have a president..Aussies wont vote for anything that does not include a day off..

Lynne H. said...

Christmas? Oh dear God..it really is upon us once more? Oi Vey!!!!!

Doctor FTSE said...

I think we should celebrate Christmas in midsummer, like the Australians in Australia do. Every year.

Gaston Studio said...

I'm with you too Pearl! I heard on the news last night that sales were already higher than the previous year, does that mean that more people are now gainfully employed? I don't think so, just been fooled into spending earlier and more.

Symdaddy said...

Stop moaning Pearl!

If you don't like America and it's holidays (or lack thereof), give it back to us!