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Monday, November 1, 2010

Careful with That Ax There, Willie

William Throckmorton the III is an introvert.

So of course he loves dressing up. Whether on stage, at a formal affair, or, as in this case, for Halloween, Willie looks forward to dressing in costume.

“Sure, I might have issues,” he tells me from behind his mask. “That doesn’t mean I don’t do it for the children.”

Willie has dressed up tonight. He is Jason, from the second movie. Not, as he is careful to point out, Jason I or Jasons III through VIII or whatever they’re up to now. I couldn’t give you the specifics – I stopped listening after he got through detailing the differences between the first three Jasons.

All I know is that he is excited about it.

“They love me!” he shouts, coming in from the second-floor porch, a beer in his hand. “I mean, those kids just love me!” He pauses. “Have you seen my ax?”

Oh, if I only had a dime every time someone asked me that.

And why wouldn’t the kiddies love him? Man-made fog runs heavily down the front of the house while a CD of screaming cats, startled women, and discordant piano wire pours out the windows. A strobe light blinks manically at a three -foot skull in one of the five windows as Willie, dressed as Jason II, paces, gesticulating wildly, from one end of the porch to the other.

“Have a terrrrrrrible night! Have a terrrrrrrrible night!” he howls.

While there aren’t as many kids going door to door on a Sunday night, Willie gives it his all. His love of the performance doesn’t vary by audience! That’s not the kind of hockey-mask-wearing weirdo he is. There are still people walking their dogs and heading to the bus, after all; and Willie leans out of the upstairs window, lowering, by rope, a gruesome rubber hand as they pass, shouting “If only I could get a head in the world! Won’t someone give me a hand?”

The crowds love it.

Willie’s performance piece will go on for another hour or so, whereupon he will shed his alter ego and make his lunch for tomorrow.

Whereupon the mild-mannered machinist will resume his public persona.

30 comments:

Boom Boom Larew said...

Who knows what devilment hides beneath that mild mannered exterior? Love it!

savannah said...

and you only get this experience once a year, right? ;~D xoxox

(just so you know, the MITM is already talking about how he wants to decorate the house next year!)

Eva Gallant said...

Oh what fun! I'll bet the kids do love it!

Bossy Betty said...

He's giving the kids a Halloween they'll never forget!

Pearl said...

Boom Boom, he's a rather meek person. Until he's wearing a costume...

savannah, unfortunately, yes. :-)

Eva, I sat on the porch a couple times, just to watch. They did love it!

Bossy, yes. :-) We're THAT house.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I love it when grown ups thrill the kids like that.

Kay Dennison said...

I wore my elegant witch hat (with sequinsm feathers and a veil) to hand out treats. A little girl in ruby slippers started to cry when her dad told I was a witch so I quickly told her I was a good witch. I was tempted to say "I'll get yo my pretty!" but I really am a good witch. LOL

lgsquirrel said...

Wow. He is like some kind of costumed superhero.

Vintage Christine said...

Just as an aside, my husband's grandfather, Willie B., actually murdered someone with an ax. Hmmm, must be something about willies and axes . . . Snort.

Gigi said...

It's amazing what those introverts will get up to while hiding behind a mask. Sounds like he had a great time!

Elly Lou said...

I move that we start giving out cold beers to the adults escorting the trick-or-treaters. Then Jason II would be even MORE beloved in the neighborhood.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

What? No video!? That's a rookie mistake. For shame.

Is the title a clever/obscure reference to the early Pink Floyd classic, "Careful With That Axe, Eugene?" I put down my bong just long enough to post this comment. Back to work, as it were.

Suzy said...

No pictures? My imagination isn't what it used to be.

Pat said...

I'm glad Willie gets to let out his inner actor at least once a year. I've read that many actors are introverts, but they like pretending to be someone different now and then.

Willie sounds hilarious in acting mode.

Linda Medrano said...

Willie sounds like a fun guy. He also sounds slightly scary! That's the best of both worlds right there!

mapstew said...

Now there's a fella I could gladly go drinkin' with! In costume of course! (I'm still wearing mine, went to the supermarket and everything!) :¬)

xxx

Sweet Cheeks said...

Let's hope Willie never crosses the line from fantasy to reality. You might want to lock up the axe...just in case though.
;-)

Douglas said...

My father used to do that, too. Not Jason (pick a number) but every Halloween, he'd dress up as a grumpy old man and scare the heck out of the kids that came trick or treating. Wait a minute... now that I think about it, he looked like that every night.

mrwriteon said...

What style; what panache. How could anybody fail to be impressed? Actually it all sounds remarkably imaginative. I, on the other hand, wore a sweatshirt and jeans and was decked out like a suburban male of a certain age on a Sunday evening. Wowed the hell out of all and sundry.

Madame DeFarge said...

Is this display fuelled by alcohol? Or is it entirely natural? Do you hide behind the sofa when he does it?

Hilary said...

Halloween tends to bring the kid out in all of us.. or the axe murderer.

a Broad said...

I feel so deprived ... there are no Willies in my world.

Daisy said...

He sounds like a machinist who dreams of being an actor! I bet both he and the kids had a lot of fun. :)

injaynesworld said...

It's nice when adults can keep the child alive inside of them. I bet he does a great Easter Bunny. ;)

Passionate Blogger said...

Jason, heh? That must be frightening!

Cheeseboy said...

I want to trick or treat at your house. I prefer freaks to sweets. Although maybe you had both? And a fog machine? I've ALWAYS wanted to buy one of those.

♥ Braja said...

I think it's all a trick of mirrors...he's possibly always like that....

HermanTurnip said...

There are *so* many directions you could take this story. Man, I'd love to meet a character like Willie. My neighborhood could use a bit of livening up! All we have is the crazy biker family and that one guy whom I saw just once. Pasty white, losing his hair, and apparently wears pajama bottoms at two in the afternoon...

Tempo said...

He sounds as weird as you Pearl...what a perfect pair! :-)

white rabbit said...

I've now got Pink Floyd's 'Careful With That Axe Eugene' going through my head and it's all your fault Pearl!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3R2PgMiTvw