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Monday, October 25, 2010

T’s Gone Gaga, or Did I Ever Tell You About the Time I Danced to the Same Beat for 10 Minutes?

I’m worried about T.

You know T, don’t you? The man who abandoned Minnesota for Florida so that he could “work on his tan”? A man who calls for his cat by calling “Who’s so sexy? Who’s so sexy?”? A man with an amusing yet inappropriate love of the slogan tee-shirt (“It’s Not Going to Lick Itself, You Know”)?

T is exhibiting signs of further silliness.

His latest foray into “What the???” territory?

Lady Gaga.



We take you now to a phone conversation already in progress.

”… and so I says to the guy, ‘purple monkey elevator’.”

“Really?” I say. “Good God man but that’s fascinating.”

“You’re just jealous,” he says.

“Me? Surely you have me confused with someone else.” Pause. “OK. I’ll bite. Jealous of what?”

He laughs. “Me and Lady Gaga.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Me. Me and Lady Gaga. We got a thing.”

“A thing, huh? Have you seen a doctor?”

“Again!” he shouts. “Again with the hilarity! What, don’t you want to be one of Lady Gaga’s little monsters?”

I sigh. “I’m going to pretend that I fully understand your babbling while quietly e-mailing the authorities in your neighborhood. Give me your address. No, don’t tax yourself. I’ll look it up. Clearly a full mental work-up is in order.”

“Oh, yeah, baby,” he sighs. “Keep using the words “work-up” and “Lady Gaga” in the same breath, would you? I don’t care how mental it gets.”

I would like to say that T’s embracing of all things “Gaga-like” came out of nowhere, but that’s not true. I once saw him sing along with a Madonna song when he thought I wasn’t looking.

It haunts me.

T, of course, is free to sing along as he likes, dress up in bubble wrap, and encourage large groups of similarly minded people to dance behind him while he lip syncs, while I, being his friend and confidante, quietly and discretely hire a local to set up a tiny camera in his living room.

Who’s the little monster now?

22 comments:

You've Got to Be Kidding Me said...

Is this a straight man?

ellen abbott said...

I like your devious spirit.

HulaBuns said...

Can't wait to see the video from the hidden camera. All I'm imagining is T (for some reason I picture him kind of looking like a Jersey Shore character but less muscle-y) dancing around singing Lady Gaga songs. LOL

Gigi said...

Am waiting patiently for the video.....

Douglas said...

Obviously time for an intervention.

Sweet Cheeks said...

Well...that's it then, T's gone off the deep end.

Lady Gaga AND his sexy cat...there's simply not enough room in a man's life for two 'buble wrap loving, high maintenance' females like that! I can see the fight that would ensue over the RAW MEAT dress...

All the more reason to love T, I suppose!
=]
xxx

ICKY said...

I tried to tell you, GAGAitis is a recognized condition by the AMA, the VMAs and the MTVs.

There is no known cure.

Great post.

T

Grant said...

I can't wait to see the pictures of you in a meat dress.

Flea said...

Bubble wrap. I can only see Weird Al getting freaky in the White and Nerdy video now. Thanks.

Jhon Baker said...

what would we do without our insane friends to remind us of how sane we really are. All our psychotropic medications aside of course.

Pat Tillett said...

These friends keep out lives from ever getting too boring. That was really funny! Now I have to get the image of him in bubble wrap out of my mind's eye.....

Linda Medrano said...

I love Lady Gaga! And I think T is having a great time being her little monster!

Eva Gallant said...

Lady Gaga AND a sexy cat? This man has time and energy for TWO pussies??

Lisa @ Grandma's Briefs said...

Sounds like T is a nut -- and a constant source of giggles!

WrathofDawn said...

"“Me. Me and Lady Gaga. We got a thing.”"

... goin' on... and on, and on...

That line flung me right into "Me and Mrs. Jones." I gots me a jukebox where my brain oughta be.

lisleman said...

you don't post pictures often but with Lady Gaga I guess it's quality not quantity. Did he say anything about the meat dress?

a Broad said...

I would like to hear the Details and How-To's of putting in a hidden camera.
Thank you.

Debbie said...

Lady Gaga is fascinating in a whole crazy-lady-wearing-raw-meat-and-lamp-shades sort of way. I can see the attraction:)

Kal said...

I saw what you did there. You brought it all around full circle. This is what makes you a go to site for great writing.

I have fallen under the spell of Gaga but only for one song - Bad Romance - and I refuse to listen to anything else she does or I will fall into her trap. She will never get me.

Cheeseboy said...

Gaga? Really? T's got a thing for her? I'd rather make out with Madonna and she is like 70 now.

Kraxpelax said...

GAMMABLIXT


SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE

There's much in the world that you can't explain.
It's revealed for you to remember
by the whispering voice of a distant train
or a midnight rain in november.

Horizon within! You can always find
the keys to Enigma. Let's mention
one basic Truth: of spirited Mind
is Nature naught but extension.

Internal expanses! In dreams, ridden
by fear and longing you roam
that deep Southeast in your soul hidden
...on your random journey back home.

---

As a native Swede, I am particularly proud of my love poetry suite Sonnets for Katie.

My Poems

*

La présence; un coup de vie morte? non, ce n'est qu'être. Et puis pour l'errante fenêtre: étant vue la nuit, dans tous le coins des rues de la veille la même étoile.

*

Poétudes

*

Schwarzez birne!
Aufforderung zur Erotik.

Fremde Gedichte

*

En el archipielágo del mundo
los recursos son concentrados,

algunos barcos azulos
partieron para la isla más azula.

Uno grito bajo la mesa
vuelca uno cantaro;

visitantes paran
en preguntas silenciosas –

el anacrusa de una tromba
remolinea en la biblioteca.

My Spanish Poetry

*

My Laptop Wallpaper Art

CHALLENGE again. I say: generally, e=mc(n-1) for the n-dimensional room. I say this is close to self-evident.You think not? Then prove the contrary!

Windor Mirrow


And: reciprocity: for mutual benefit, you will do me a favor promoting your own blog on mine!

The best way to do it is lining up as a Follower, since then your icon will advertise you indefinitely, and I will follow you in return. Let's forge a mighty alliance of synergy and common interest.

Yours,

- Peter Ingestad, Sweden

GTChristie said...

Since I'm past middle-age, I had to ask my wife who (or what) a Lady Gaga is. She said: Madonna on steroids.