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Saturday, September 25, 2010

To Be A Rock and Not To Roll

My husband is a rock.

Not an actual rock. True, he rolls when pushed and sinks in the bathtub, but he is not an actual rock.

Willie is a figurative rock.

Willie comes from a long line of people known not only for their incredible calf muscles (we have a long-standing agreement that, should we ever go down in an airplane over the Andes, we will eat them) and an affinity for all lagers, ales, pilsners, and beers in general but from a group not known for their imaginations.

Willie lives in a world of absolutes, of exact measurements.

You can picture how much he enjoys cruise control.

“What I do, see,” he explains to me, “is that when the speed limit says 65? I set it for 67.” He grins – and did he just wink at me? Willie’s not a winker – and I do love a good winker – but the twinkle in his eye belies just such a gesture.

I nod and smile while wondering if I will have time at the next light to leap out of the car. Because while myself a lover of minutiae, I have periods of limited patience for unswerving dedication to patterns.

Willie can be counted on to follow the same route, go the same direction, go to the same restaurants.

Willie can be counted on to go two miles over the speed limit.

It’s not the speed we’re traveling at, of course, that gets on my nerves, but the level of certainty I have that any time he is driving the car he is doing just that.

And it occurs to me, briefly, that I may figure in there somewhere.

Still, I can’t help but tweak him sometimes.

“Don’t forget I’m meeting Pat to go consignment shopping tomorrow,” I say, just before going to bed. “We’re meeting at Cecil’s at 10:00.”

Willie frowns. He does not remember hearing this before. It’s not unusual for us to have coffee around 10:00 on a weekend, and this last-minute kind of information changes everything. “No coffee,” he says. “Well I suppose I can go to SA for coffee, just buy a cup… Or I can just make it for myself.” He pauses. “I could just make myself a whole pot,” he muses. He frowns in thought, stands, walks out of the room only to return just as quickly.

“I’ll make a whole pot for myself,” he says. “No point in changing anything.”

The start of the morning has been decided. He looks relieved.

And the rock remains unrolled.

28 comments:

Charlotte Ann said...

oh..I'm a "willie" type girl. If you change the rules on me, I'm lost and fearful and stressed and ill in mind and body and obsessed and neurotic and ......

Will Burke said...

There's a lot to be said for consistancy. It may not be exciting, but he'll be happy with jeans ans a nice shirt every Christmas.

Flea said...

Silly man. I always set my cruise control for FOUR miles over the speed limit.

Jeanie said...

I'd bet you already knew he was going to make the whole pot.

Sam Liu said...

I think Willie and I share a certain trait - a need for order. Someone once told me it was a sign of cleverness, but I think they were just being tactful :D

Chaka said...

I can relate to him. Nothing used to bother me more than being told that I had to be somewhere on very short notice. I prefer knowing what is on my schedule. I have changed a little with time and now can be completely spontaneous and fun (if you give me a 4 hour notice to prepare for it)

lgsquirrel said...

Aren't you lucky to have such a dependable husband/ (willie you owe me for this).

Wierdo said...

I tend to go 10% over the speed limit. No idea why I started, but IF I decide to go over, 10% it will be

ellen abbott said...

Only 2? I take the whole 5.

chlost said...

Oh, my. We must be married to identical twins. Or clones. Or men in a parallel universe. Or rocks cut from the same boulder.

Lisa said...

Just the other day my son asked me why my husband, his father, goes the same way through town every time. "Even though he knows the lights are screwed up and half the time you end up waiting for a train, he doesn't change his route. It's always the same," was the general complaint.

I told him that it was because Dad is married to me. Nate looked at me for a moment and then just nodded.

Symdaddy said...

What's a speed limit?

D'ya think there's any coffee left in that pot for me?

diane rene said...

aww - I think Willie is adorable. I have one named Steven ... they are annoying at times, but oh how I love to mess with his schedule ;0)

24 Corners said...

Bless their (I'm married to one also) linear hearts...they do need messing with every now and then so the other side of the brain gets charged up and used...it's good for them, and us! ;)

Have a fun, all over the board weekend!
J~

Beta Dad said...

It's good to have someone like that in every relationship. My wife is always paying attention to the practical, boring details like what exit to take while driving. I'm more likely to be wondering what the person in the next car is saying on their cell phone.

Madame DeFarge said...

Mine is dependable, but as a rock only insofar as a rock does not possess independent thought or motor control.

Laoch of Chicago said...

This is very perceptive: nicely done.

UBERMOUTH said...

I would so have fun pushing Willie out of his comfort zone all the time-like breaking the coffee pot,tamperinmgn with his cruise control :)

Fred Miller said...

I'm the same way. I have to use algebra to make more or less coffee than I usually do. Seriously.

a Broad said...

Did he Slur this or what ?

Poor sweet Willie, being in my company for an hour or two would have him twitching .. I like to think I am obsessive about certain things, but I think I just do things obsessively. I am never on time, late or early either one.. I always speed although I never drive here .. I don't like other people to drive because I know the Better Way to get there and Faster way ..

un beso

lunamother said...

ha! I'm married to a Rock as well.
Pure genius- truly I've never met anyone more intelligent than my husband. But it takes him forever to decide something- ANYTHING- because he's so...cautious...and...deliberate.
Not me- I leap in with both feet and my hard head leading in all situations.
We sort of balance each other out nicely when we're not making each other insane.

Cheeseboy said...

Willie sounds a lot like me. Only I set the cruise for 68.

Nick Thomas said...

"he rolls when pushed and sinks in the bathtub" ... love it!

Argent said...

Pearl, if you ever get tired of your rock, just roll him over to my place - I love him already!

Kittie Howard said...

I like this. Very, very nice!

Gigi said...

My hubby is definitely a rock - so very predictable. I like to think of myself as a bit more free spirited....but then I look back and see all the patterns. *sigh* but I try. So that counts, right?

The Jules said...

Apparently, I'm consistently disappointing!

Yay!

Eva Gallant said...

My Hubby doesn't deal with plan changes well, either. I'm much easier going. lol Just came by for a visit from Best Post of the Week!