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Monday, August 16, 2010

What Am I Thinking? Oh, Not Much...

“The walk to the bus may have looked like any other, but Monday was the day that changed everything.”

I’ve been known to narrate my life. Not aloud, of course, because that would be unseemly. No use in frightening my fellow citizens.

Frankly, the commentary in my head is usually more entertaining than what’s going on around me.

I don’t limit my narrations to my life, though.

I’m willing to narrate yours as well.

“Little did she know that the person next to her at the Farmer’s Market, the person inspecting the turnips, then the rutabagas, was her brother Frank, the man who had left for the Navy 15 years ago only to be struck by lightning and left wandering, witless all these years, in his pursuit of the perfect root vegetable.”

My lips don’t move while I do this, so it’s perfectly normal. Or at least it appears perfectly normal.

Now if my lips moved

I sometimes see people’s lips moving. They’re walking down the street, fully engaged in something or other. Before Bluetooth and teeny-tiny headphones, this was more amusing than it is now. Like the 'rahr, rahr, rahr' of a dog with a mouthful of peanut butter, one could envision any monologue one liked. Now, however, rather than imagining someone reciting the “I’m-leaving-you-you-rat-bastard” speech as they push their grocery cart through the dairy section, the odds are actually much better that the real-life conversation they are having on the world’s smallest phone is more along the lines of “I’ll be home soon! Do we need milk?”


So I’m going to continue to create little fantasy lives around them, what they’re saying, where they’re going, why they’re meeting.

Oh, if only they knew how happy they make me, these lip-moving people, or how much I love them.


Bossy Betty said...

OH! I am going to totally narrate my day today! I am going to do it in a loud voice too!

Anonymous said...

My lips move when I leave comments. I just caught myself doing it the other day.
Would you like to re-write my life this week. I sure could use a fresh perspective! - G

Tail-Kinker said...

If the physical people around you in the world disappoint for your narration Pearl, you can always try muting the TV while on a ridiculous channel and making up your own words for what the characters on TV are doing. My personal fav is the SyFy channel, because how hilarious are those giant centipede/shark/tomato movies already, not to mention when you make up what they're saying?

BTW, I don't have a blog of my own :( I am just a voyeur in blog-land, but I thoroughly enjoy reading yours and others and maybe someday I'll get one of my own started...thanks for trying to check me out anyways!

Lisa said...

After the initial shock over how boring their lives are in contrast to your commentaries, I hope that people would have the good sense to try harder to spice up their convos. You can't be expected to do all the work!

Fred Miller said...

My lips have always moved when I'm thinking. It has gotten me into a few fights, too. I can override it, now, but Tessa still catches me at it. I can tell by her smile. Like you, she makes up all kinds of stuff that I'm thinking to amuse herself.

The Fred Effect

Micael Chadwick ("Rabbit") said...

Oh my gracious! I'm NOT whackadoo afterall. I do this too. I am bad to make up whole stories, though, and get myself all worked up over this complete stranger's fictional plight. (Okay maybe I am nuts...)

SparkleFarkle said...

Oh to be inside your head! Might you have a spare key? I would never have to buy another book, I could just read your mind!


Simply Suthern said...

Please narrate mine. Make it better please, Please. Dont make me beg.

Sharon Longworth said...

I have a tendency to invent lives for people I see. Philip always knows when I'm doing it - 'and how will they die?' is his stock response.

Cheeseboy said...

I believe your narrations of my life would be far more entertaining than my own narrations of my own... or something like that.

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

The Wonder Years narration is in 5.1 surround in my head...constantly.

"That would be the last time Rene would see bananas on sale this summer".

"It wasn't really about my urgent need for coffee, it was more about getting out of the house."

Just a little snippet of the feed.


Sam Liu said...

Pearl, this is wonderful and I often do it myself, perhaps silent narration of one's own life and the lives of others is akin to many writers. I love how your mind works :D

Sarah said...

Had I done this yesterday while visiting the farmer's market, it would've been much more pleasant of a trip!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to walk down the street with you because I do the same thing. Let us compare storis of situations -- or compare mythologies, as Leondard Cohen would have it. You show me your story and I'll show you mine.

Pearl said...

So sorry that I've been out of pocket today (as the people who would say things like "out of pocket" would say).

Finally have my computer back from Dell! YAAAAY! Will actually be back at other peoples' blogs, commenting and whatnot.

And I am very glad to know that I am not the only person silently narrating lives. :-)

Gigi said...

No, Pearl, you aren't the only one. I recently "saw" a whole torrid love affair going on at Jersey Mike's the other day. The reality had to be much more boring. They were probably just a married couple having lunch. But in my mind it was far more interesting.

dogimo said...

Suddenly, fingers leaping and plunging at the keys, he boldly tapped out a comment on her blog post the likes of which he had never before left! Raw, raucous feelings careened within him like the discordant jazz score of a 1950's horror movie party scene - and he let them all pour out into the prim white box that sat beneath her post, awaiting his impatient influx of text. "Post a Comment"? he thought - reading the prompt aloud, with a certain not-to-say-disdain. I'll Post a Comment!

Nice post!

a Broad said...

You have to come here .. my husband just recently commented on the many people in the street talking to themselves.
Remember us when you run out of people up there !

Tempo said...

When I was a kid we had this wierd scary old man in our neighbourhood. I knew he was scary and weird not so much from the way he dressed or the things he did...but because he was always talking loudly to someone only he could see.
Nowadays every third person acts like this... the only give away is the tiny white earbuds and cord hanging from an ear or Bluetooth dongle hooked precariously over the ear.
Look out dear Pearl, lest small children think you a weird and strange...

Kelly@TearingUpHouses said...

Ohmygod. I totally do this. Totally.

But, perhaps, I should keep that to myself?


p.s. I love your blog's tagline.

Casey Freeland said...

It's OK, most of them are still nut bags. The clothing usually gives it away. Not always, but usually.


lisleman said...

what an interesting habit but be careful no to stare. It's not supposed to be a zoo you know.


How funny, I do the same thing but in a dialogue form. If there is a couple that looks angry, I'll play the role of the guy being angry about X and then I'll reverse the role and respond to his rant.

Memphis Steve said...

You'd love me, hotpants. I curse under my breath as I'm wandering the store, not finding what I'm looking for or only finding damaged or opened samples.

diane rene said...

oh I love this! I often find I'm talking to myself ... and then I cringe when I realize that yes, the words actually came out of my mouth!

I guess it's a good thing that I can laugh at myself too ... and now that I think of it, I have been caught laughing at the thoughts in my head.

maybe that's not good ... I think I need 'special' help now ;0)

Symdaddy said...

(move cursor over comment field and begins typing)

You are very observant!

(pauses to think of next sentence)

I see these people every day! One of them in a mirror.

(considers ending comment but thinks of another sentence instead)

In my head scenarios are constantly being played out as an aid to resolving any given situation [I can think with an American accent] and my lips have recently begun to rat me out!

(feels embarrassed after admission)

I work hard now to maintain full control!

(clicks "Post Comment" button and wait for comment to appear)

Anonymous said...

I do the same thing.. have been known to have a whole 90 minute movie complete all from, "She picked up the menu, stared at the words and thought"..LOL

this is what makes life interesting...