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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I Wouldn't Mind A Small Taste, No

It’s still around the corner, I know, and you’re probably going to go crazy with jealousy, but I’m going to taunt you with it anyway.

I have tickets for the upcoming Autumn Brew Review.

Thirty dollars for all the beer I can, um, taste?

I can taste a lot of beer.

The truly lovely part, of course, is that the historic Grain Belt Brewery is less than one hiccupping, singing, possibly knee-walking mile from my house.

I feel almost guilty: lagers, pilsners, ales? All for me?

I’ve put myself on a strict training regimen for the event. I patch one eye for several hours a day so as to be ready for the shift in depth perception sure to accompany the first dozen beers. I’m allowing only two visits to the bathroom per work day. I’m practicing a number of witty one-liners for the event, among them “sez you!”, “hey! don’t you owe me money?” and “you dance divinely”.

But what does one wear to an afternoon of brew reviewing? “Track shoes” leap immediately to mind. Pants, naturally. Mustn’t forget to wear a shirt.

Fall is coming, after all.

The air will be sharp and cool, the leaves turning from green to red, and the Grain Belt Brewery will loom in the distance, awaiting the happy shouts of adults with tickets to an afternoon of trying the latest beers from brewers around the nation.

Of course, it’s as much about the company as it is about the beer. Walking down the streets of your neighborhood with your friends next to you is a delicious occurrence, with or without the promise of malty, hoppy goodness waiting at your destination.

And like I say, it’s just around the corner.


Anonymous said...

Score! You little stinker. I'll be thinking about you and wishing we all could be strolling down the street with you that day. Now wouldn't that be scarey? Can't wait for the full report and blow by blow account in your own wonderful style.

Yankee Gal

The Jules said...

Sounds good. I would also take only a small amount of money with me to prevent me buying eight pork rolls in the evening.

We have a yearly Beer Festival near where I live, and it's ten types of marvellousness.

My big tip is, when you go up to get a drink and proffer your celebratory festival glass at the barkeeps,order halves rather than pints, because they invariably give you two thirds of a pint so in the end you get a lot more booze for your English buck.

Also, aim your sick into a hedge.

Tail-Kinker said...

Have you tried the new Grain Belt brew, Nordeast? You'd better have--you live there, after all! It's excellent.

Have fun at the, err, tasting! I'm green with envy already.

Bossy Betty said...

I enjoy being taunted, so I'm glad I came by today.

Have fun tasting!

Pearl said...

Yankee Gal, I shall be thinking of you!

Jules, all good advice. :-) The beer will be offered, unfortunately, in rather small glasses. Of course, a lot of small glasses equals some rather big glasses and I look forward to a pleasant and well-deserved afternoon of Drunk.

Tail-Kinker, I HAVE had the Northeast! I find it a little too sweet for my tastes -- I prefer a little more on the bitter side. :-)

Bossy Betty, glad to see you, and I will be raising a plastic cup to all my bloggy friends. :-) I hope you like beer.

Joanie M said...

After last Saturday night, I was having trouble even READING about beer! Have fun though!

(and of course, I blogged about it)

Symdaddy said...

Lager? Beer? Ale?

What sophistication!

Pearl said...

Joanie, apparently I need to get to your site more often...

Symdaddy, oh, we're all kinds of fancy in Northeast.

Lisa said...

I'm positively green with envy. Your training regime sounds live a winning strategy.

a Broad said...

I am not a beer drinker but I have discovered that Quilmes Cristal goes well with Chinese.
There, now you all know, I am a beer idjit.

But I know you are going to have so much fun and I hope you remember it all so you can tell us about it .

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Lagers, pilsners, ales! Thats pillow talk my dear.....the stuff that usually lands me on someone's pillow that is.


Anonymous said...

I know Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) is too refined for such a boot stomping, beer swilling, hoot shouting event...but will you take Dolly G Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers)?
She seems awful sad these days.

Herding Cats said...

That sounds pretty perfect, I must say.

Fred Miller said...

I REALLY like your style! This is how autumn should be felt.

Thanks for stopping by. I'll definitely let you know when things are up and running.

Cheeseboy said...

Even with it being fall, I'd say shirtless is still the way to go.

Pearl said...

Lisa, I always ask myself, when training for such an event, "what the? hey, who...? Whaaa?" I find it mirrors the state I'll eventually be in. :-)

Broad, I hope so, too. That I remember, that is. :-) Oh, I tease. I'll get drunk, yes, and I'll remember, mostly. My friends find it inhibiting when I whip out a notebook in the midst of the revelry but it's the only way to do it right...

Mad Woman, LOL! I hear ya!!

Sweet Cheeks, I think Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) DOES feel sad these days. She feels she's been unjustly accused of the death of Yang the Fish (post from last week, was it?). I've done some investigating, and you know what? I think we got a full-on mystery going on in the seedy underbelly of the fish tank...

Herding Cats, it all starts with a grease and carb-based breakfast. :-)

Fred, keep me posted -- I dig your writing!

Cheeseboy, and that way I'll be ready for the shirts/skins kickball game afterwards!

powdergirl said...

And if you say to a gentleman, "May I have this dance?" and he is gay so he declines, then you say, " What? Oh, no no, I didn't akd you dance, I said: you look good in those pants."
Have Fun, Pearl! Sounds like a gas!

A Mom on Spin said...

I'm in training too!

Oh, I don't have tickets or anything. . . I'm just drinking as much as I can. . .

mapstew said...

Take me with ya!


pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze? :¬)


justsomethoughts... said...

5,280 feet
pearl, after a dozen or so, that's a mighty long way.

Ricky Shambles said...

Amazing jealous! Once did a wine tasting in Winston Salem, NC, and that was drunkenly wonderful. Can't wait to hear your tale of joy and inebriation!

Laoch of Chicago said...

Massive jealousy

Jon in France said...

We've got one of these coming up in a couple of weeks. Many people assume that that the French don't make beer and I'm happy to allow that to continue since it means all the more for me.

Tempo said...

Oh thats SO not fair Pearl... LOL I do love a good beer, especially the better quality stuff. Good luck to you, and 'have one for me'. (an Oz greeting of good will)

Gaston Studio said...

Never liked any kind of beer myself, but would consider joining just for the enjoyment of the participants.