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Monday, July 26, 2010

There's Got to be a Morning After

Bearing in mind that each day’s post is written the day before, meaning that I am writing this on a Sunday, and that Sunday is the day after my annual Summer Party – is it still considered a separate day if you’ve not truly slept? – and that I’ve willingly stupefied myself once again – today’s writing may be nothing more than a bit of correctly spelled fluff.

I’ve got all that worked out in a diagram at home, if you want to stop by.

I love having parties. The trick, I think, to a successful party is to invite just about everyone you know, add food and drink, and see what happens. This attitude, embedded by a rather hippie-ish babysitter at an impressionable point in my early childhood, is based on the idea that we are all, on a basic level, brothers and sisters.

This is not to say that I don’t sometimes dislike some of my brothers and sisters, but hey! "Let’s not bicker and argue over ‘oo killed ‘oo," as my Monty Python-quoting brothers would say. A party’s a party.

I’m a happy drinker, a smiling, laughing, possibly singing drinker. I don’t necessarily want to sit on your lap, I definitely don’t want to talk about BP/politics/immigration or welfare, and no, I will not go to a second location with you.

But if you’re headed toward the cooler, grab me one, would ya?

The aftermath of a party – aside from the recycling, the stale crackers, the discovery of mystery bruises – is also the reflective part of the party. Me, I tend to find words floating around, post-fete.

“No, no, no. The best ways to die are freeze to death, a fall from a very tall building, and being trampled.”

“… so sometimes you just have to ask yourself, why did I even bother to wear underwear?”

“An above-ground pool? So is that, like, in the ground?”

“Are you kidding me? I am the Rubik’s Cube MASTER! Hold on. I’ve got one in my car…”

“We should try to bring back the word “besmirched”. Someone quick go look it up.”

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the party is over, I’ve drunk an enormous amount of water, and somewhere, someone is practicing a drumbeat using what sounds to be two pieces of rebar on a large bit of sheet metal. Boom-boom CHOCK! Boom-boom CHOCK!

I’m only mostly confident that that sound is external.

28 comments:

Argentum Vulgaris said...

The dry horrors and the boom-boom-chock are all signs that a good time was had by all. There are two cures, drink more water or hair of the dog that bit you. LOL Good luck.

AV

ellen abbott said...

You mean Friday's song list is really Thursday's?

Pearl said...

Argentum, a man after my own heart. :-)

Ellen, ah-ha! Wondered if someone would catch that. Actually, Friday's song list is done in a hurried freak-out first thing Friday morning. The post itself is written Thursday night, and then I tack on the list on the way in to work!

Fred Miller said...

Our house is so small that the parties always spill onto the porch, into the yard, and up Sean's treehouse. That treehouse has seen some action this summer.

TheFredEffect

Simply Suthern said...

Thank goodness for Monty Python. There is usually an appropriate quote for most occasions.

Irisheyes said...

And thank goodness for Maureen McGovern! One conversation I remember hearing is..."Alcohol is not the problem, it's the mix. If there was no mix in the world, than people would drink slower!!"

Sweet Cheeks said...

Mystery bruises = impromptu sword fighting with yard tools/garden hoses until you stumble over a beer filled cooler and crash into lawn furniture which leaves one with sudden amnesia...

...not that I've ever done that...

=]

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

We are long overdue for a good yahd pahty...
funniest quote from the last:

"I'm fairly certain I woulda made a shitty Nazi!"

word.

Peace ~ Rene

Jon in France said...

“No, no, no. The best ways to die are freeze to death, a fall from a very tall building, and being trampled.”

And even more impressive if you can manage all three simultaneously.

I fear a party may be happening here tonight (I realise it is a Monday) on account of the girls' wild God parents coming over for "a quick glass..."

Pearl said...

Fred, we had the Backyard Weirdos, the Porch Weirdos, and the Kitchen Weirdos. I think that pretty much covers the personalities of just about everyone I know.

Simply, I know! If you can’t say it in a Monty Python quote, you’re not trying hard enough!

Irish, yes, I’ve had a mental picture of Ernest Borgnine upside down in the Poseidon all morning myself!!

SweetCheeks, I don’t believe you. :-)

Rene, ah now THAT’S a quote!

Jon, it’s good to have goals. :-) Good luck with tonight – I find that the impromptu parties can be the most dangerous with regard to the next morning’s alarm clock…

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

"I’m a happy drinker, a smiling, laughing, possibly singing drinker. I don’t necessarily want to sit on your lap, I definitely don’t want to talk about BP/politics/immigration or welfare, and no, I will not go to a second location with you."

Between this self-description and the floating quotes, I feel almost like I was there. It would explain these bruises....

Douglas said...

I have noticed that parties break down into mini-parties if the house is large enough and the kitchen groups are often the best while the garage groups smoke the best stuff and the living room groups are the dullest. Clearly the most exciting are the bedroom groups but we won't go there.

The best parties are the ones where you wake up on the host's sofa and realize you had crashed the party while being served breakfast and the ones where you wake up in the hostess' bed (double points if you crashed the party on the latter).

Ms Sparrow said...

Ufta! All you young whippersnappers and your wild, wild ways!

nsiyer said...

Hi Pearl, long time. I just celebrated my Silver Wedding Anniversary and invited all my school and college friends. An amazing party and all of them lost themselves meeting each other after a long time. In some cases after 25 to 30 years.

Mandy said...

"Mostly confident." I like that and am stealing it ASAP.

Bossy Betty said...

I would like the diagram, please.

Sarah said...

My house is too small for a party, but I think I should try to have one anyway. After all, it is summer.

dogimo said...

Well, that was quite a bit more than merely "correctly spelled fluff!"

Still. That would be a great name for any sort of serialized publication of musings. Correctly Spelled Fluff.

mapstew said...

Was I there?
I know I was somewhere. :¬)

xxx

Gigi said...

"today’s writing may be nothing more than a bit of correctly spelled fluff." No Pearl, this more accurately describes my blog - not yours! And mystery bruises - I can *so* relate.

mrwriteon said...

Self-inflicted injury, what can I say? What I can say is that you sound like you'd be great fun at a party. Actually, you sound like you'd be great fun any time.

imtsmom said...

I love your secrets to a successful party!! That's exactly how I throw parties; it hasn't changed in 40 years. But it's a bit different now that we're in a retirement community. Here in The Villages it's been a good party if people stay past 9:00. I'm serious. I've discovered the secret to making that happen though - don't feed them until 7:00. It works! Maybe we're not having the same party after all.
Keep up the good fluff...

Cheeseboy said...

I do think that you would be so cool, and hilarious, to hang out with.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Oh God now I have Maureen McGovern playing over and over in my head!!!

Tempo said...

Diagram?... what?! you didnt do a pie chart?
Yeah, I love a good party..sadly most of the one's I've been to lately would not be described as 'Good' parties.
Party on Pearl!

A Mom on Spin said...

I'm a happy drinker too! In fact, I may be besmirched with alcohol!!!

Ricky Shambles said...

I once told my cats "I smell what you're sayin'" in front of a handful of remaining party guests. The story has lived 8 years, now having been related to my 14-year old daughter who quotes it when it suits her to besmirch my character. I need a beer.

Casey Freeland said...

I now have Maureen McGovern 70's song running through my head. Thanks a lot.

Casey