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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Sure, But I'll Bet We're Joking About Fish Sticks Tomorrow

Today is a solemn day, a day in which no fish flakes will be sprinkled.

Yang, beloved oranda, has died.

Yang, friend to Ying, James Earl, Goldie Hawn, Comet, Lydia O Lydia and Sir George Martin (the Fifth Goldfish), began dying with the turning on of the fishtank light on Monday, July 5th, and had pretty much finished with it by the time he was flushed later that evening to the musical strains of “We’ve Only Just Begun”.

He was six years old.

Known for his gentle humor and his big orange head, Yang lived a sheltered life, never leaving the tank in which he took up residence with Ying after his move from PetSmart in 2004. The couple had their differences, however; and after a much-publicized battle with alcoholism three years ago and a weekend in detox after picking a fight with a large-ish moss-covered rock, Ying left Yang for James Earl, a showy black oranda with a way with the wimmins.

A memorial was held Tuesday morning: tales were told of Yang’s good nature and both sides of his favorite album – Jethro Tull’s “Aqualung” – were played, after which there was a church basement potluck, the keg was tapped, and a bottle of Jameson produced.

Eddie the Plecostomus, just before bursting into tears, proclaimed it the best wake he’d ever been to and that he could only hope for as nice a send-off.

Neither Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) or Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) could be reached for comment, although a note left on the fridge in Liza’s spiky hand read:

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

H.S. Holland

Swim swiftly, swim happily, Yang. You will be missed.


savannah said...

may he rest in peace and perpetual light shine upon him.

*can i have a drink now?*

Leah said...

A very fitting eulogy. We were similarly solemn upon the demise of our beloved betta, Vivi.

Fishy death always seems so metaphorical to me...

Pearl said...

Savannah, I've ordered a drink for both of us. :-)

Leah, I think you're right. There's more than meets the eye to a world we keep within our own world. The fish tank is more than just a tank...

Simply Suthern said...

Wow! 6 years old. Thats pretty old for a tank dweller.

I have a feeling if you had 1 alcoholic fish they all were. It's kinda like the old days going to a resturant where they ask if you wanted the smoking or passive smoking section.

Liza Bean is sounding a bit arrogant blowing off his passing while she sits there with nine lives.

Btw, I never knew Eddie to be so sensitive. You sure him and Yang don't have a history?

Pearl said...

Simply, you know, I never considered that there might've been anything between Yang and Eddie. Ack. I feel so insensitive now!

a Broad said...

God bless little Yang.

We will raise a glass in his name today - hope he liked Pinot Noir.

The Jules said...

Eddie is obviously a sucker for a nice eulogy.

Condolences on your loss.

Fred Miller said...

Six years is remarkable. I drink bourbon younger than that. If Eddie is like our Pleco, he's been around even longer, so he's seen a lot. Makes the final break even harder. Oh, and I'd like you to consider handling my arrangements. This is exactly how I want my life to be celebrated.

Sausage Fingers said...

Off to get my bagpipes - Amazing Grace seems fitting
R.I.P wee fishy

powdergirl said...

Ack! If Sausage Fingers(what where his parents thinking? Who names their kid that..)plays Amazing Grace on the bagpipes, I'll come completely undone.

6 years is a good run, RIP Yang.

Hey, there's a pond in the forest across the road, in recent years goldfishies have taken up residence there, maybe its fish heaven?

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss, Pearly Girly. ={

I wouldn't chalk it up to natural causes just yet...what if there were foul play involved?

You said it yourself...addiction to alcohol, a love triangle, jealousy - hmmm.

Maybe Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) should investigate. I think interviewing everyone else in the tank is in order.
Start with Eddie...he's a talker.

Good luck sister~

Anonymous said...

As a fish owner, I can only be sad about Yang. Please be strong at this time of sorrow and my thoughts go with you. I keep my fish outside where they produce less mess.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

um, any reason to drink, I guess.

Again, you killed!

Too soon?

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

ARGH! He was a fine fish. The kind of fish it would make one proud to be a bowl to. Never a word of gossip crossed his lips and for a dweller of the sea that be a fine thing to be known for.

Anonymous said...

Awww. Little Yang is swimming happily in fishy heaven as we type. Sweet little fishy.

Casey Freeland said...

Our fish only live for a day or two each week... because we feed them to our garter snake, Slither. He says they are delish.



IndigoWrath said...

You flushed him?! How wasteful. There's good eating on a fish.

Douglas said...

It is interesting in your house. Mine is godawful dull in comparison. hmmm, I just learned that "godawful" is in the blogger dictionary But we have no pets now, after losing the three cats that ran our lives for so many years.

I have one question, though... how can you tell when a fish is crying? Does the tank start to overflow?

Cheeseboy said...

My sincerest condolences to you and your family. She is in a better place now.

Teena in Toronto said...

RIP, Yang.

Jeanne said...

That Martin guy -- did he like to go swimmin' with bald-headed wimmin?

Gigi said...

Oh Pearl! You slay me!!!

Wait! How insensitive of me. You have my condolences.

Megan said...

You have my condolences and my giggles. Your fishies have a kind heart looking after them.

K A B L O O E Y said...

Sorry for your loss. I had a nearly everlasting fish once... Jesus. (That was his name, I'm not praying. As in Hay-soose.) Five years for that guy, and he lived by himself in a bowl all through college. I miss him still.

Sarah said...

So he drank like a fish? No wonder Ying left him. Smart girl!

a Broad said...

Pearl , oh ,Pearl .. did I ever tell you about the newt we had ? Actually, it belonged to my son but you know the Mom is in charge of keeping these things alive.
The newt whose name was Fig ... get it? Fig ! ... lived 6 years ... supposedly one of the oldest recorded Newt lives .. or so they said.
I still have vague feelings of guilt because Newt was found dead the morning after I cleaned his little house and tank.
I didn't meant to ... really, I didn't !!! but I think I must have had something to do with the death of Fig. :(

Sausage Fingers said...

Powdergirl - my Father is Abe Froman aka the sausage king of Chicago, as a child I mixed the sausage recipe with my fingers....