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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

So What Did You Learn Today?

Because I am a glutton for punishment, fairly easily swayed by the words of friends and excited by the opportunity to partake in the après-movie cocktails on the agenda, I broke one of my own rules Saturday night.

I saw a movie with a number at the end of it.

Quickly, now: Have there been any good sequels made – other than Godfather II! – that were worth the price of the popcorn that helped it go down?

Let’s all pause, shall we, as we ponder this question.

Sad, iddin it?

And what happens when the rules are broken?

That’s right: prompt, big-screen punishment.

Ladies and gentlemen, I saw Sex and The City 2 yesterday.

Let’s pause again, whilst we politely shake our heads at my being disappointed by the shallow nature and poor writing of a second movie based on an HBO series that went off the air in 2004.

And now let us pause and ponder the sound of me re-committing to my original tenet: There will be no watching of movies with numbers at the end of them.

I don’t know why such lousy movies are made. Maybe there was a bet made somewhere that a movie could not be made based on a one-liner. Perhaps the stars of this movie had boat payments to make. Possibly there was a wager that no one could make a movie that would be considered too long at one hour 26.

Whatever happened, my original instincts were correct; and I’ve decided that I should trust myself more often.

And with this in mind, I’ve been thinking.

The friendship, conversation and margaritas after the movie? Yes.

Going against one’s own instinct? No.

And so, as I say, I have been thinking. If our instincts are proven right only in hindsight, is it possible to just cut out the painful experience of having your gut feeling proven correct and just skip ahead to not having done it – again?

I think so.

I, Pearl, shall no longer buy “just one more Twinkie”, trying to recapture the childish thrill of that much sugar in one place.

I shall no longer count changing clothes as “exercise” and then profess shock when I discover, at the end of the day, that my thighs have had the seams of my jeans impressed on them.

And that thing about the Twinkies again – see the bit directly above re: inexplicable pants shrinkage.

So what did I learn today?

That going against your instinct will cost you a movie ticket, two pitchers of margaritas to wash the bad taste that 86 minutes of big-screen dreck will leave behind, and buttered-popcorn stains on your shorts that will come out in the wash.

And now that I think of it, I got off cheaply, didn’t I?

22 comments:

savannah said...

i am so sorry, sugar! but, yes, all y'all got off cheaply. xoxoxox

mapstew said...

My oh My oh My indeed!

I went to see Apollo 13 when it came out, but having missed the previous 12...... :¬)

xxx

Simply Suthern said...

That's worse than cooking on gas or having gas while ya cook. You could tell by the previews it was a sand trap.

I mostly agree on the numbered movie thing but I think Father of the Bride II was a worthy sequel. Just my opinion.

furiousBall said...

I'm not sure there has been a good sequel besides Godfather II

a Broad said...

I have considered seeing this movie .. ok, I was bored and desperate ! and then this ! Maybe if you have a pitcher full of Margarita's BEFORE seeing the movie ?
I am now thinking of all the sequels I have seen and trying to remember if any were worthy .. ( besides the Godfather ) ...
( next time try a bag of M&M peanuts dumped into the bag of popcorn .. each time you stick your hand in the bag, it is a pleasant little surprise )

Bossy Betty said...

What! Wait a minute! Changing clothes is NOT exercise????

Douglas said...

Shrek 2

That pretty much sums it up. If you don't count the Halloween sequels (and restarts) which I didn't watch because, well, I no longer date teenage girls needing an excuse to cuddle up close.

Krëg said...

Toy Story 2
Drunken Master 2
Evil Dead 2
Die Hard 2
Lethal Weapon 2
Terminator 2

Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

Sweet Cheeks said...

Definitely Toy Story 2

I never go to see chick flicks in the theater. I can't take the chatter of the women. I'd much rather sit in a rowdy theater full of men watching a big action film while they yell obscenities at the screen (and each other)...funny as hell.
=]

Beta Dad said...

I have a rule that prevents me from seeing movies with "Sex and the City" at the beginning of their titles.

Cheeseboy said...

You may have been better off going to Shrek, except there might be a number after that one, not sure.

I thought about going to Sex and the City II, but... no I didn't. I never thought about it.

The Jules said...

Sex in the City? 2?

I think I'd rather let my eyes be deloused by cleaner wrasse whilst someone filled my ears with angry bees and then criticised my choice of footwear than watch that.

And I haven't even seen the first one.

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Pearl! So long as you learned something, I think there's dignity to be found in any scenario. Indigo

(But SEX IN THE CITY 2?! What were you THINKING?!)

De Campo said...

Ok, but how much is the therapy going to cost to get over this?

Oh wait. That was the margaritas.

ellen abbott said...

I agree for the most part but Ironman II, which I didn't really expect was going to be as good, was actually very good. But then Robert Downey Jr. is pretty yummy.

injaynesworld said...

I'm planning to see it this week -- but just for the Louboutins.

FabuLeslie said...

I am a huge fan of the series. I saw the first movie and was underwhelmed. This one doesn't even look good in the previews. And you know they put all the good stuff in the previews. So, anyway. Yeah. Sorry about that still learning to trust your instincts thing. If you find a fool-proof way of dealing with it, please let me know. I'm dating now and my instincts are all too quiet until hindsight arrives.

Jon said...

Nope. Never saw any of it. Ditto "24" and "Lost."

As soon as they get dubbed, these series lose any humour they might have and the airtime just isn't worth it.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I hate to say that I got enjoyment out of your bad movie experience. I can't help myself that to hear someone bitch about something 'Sex In The City' related only makes me feel good that I have maintained an absolute venal hatred for any and everything related to that franchise. I hate the women, they are vain and two of them are too ugly to even be on TV. I will let you figure out which two I mean. The men they love are embarassing and any press that this stupid show/movie gets that fawns all over these bitches is the reason I will climb a water tower one day with a rifle and a bad mood. Those movies play to the worse female stereotypes and insult anyone who watches. If you like that show you are stupid because I said so. GAH!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Oh, and one more thing that came to me after reading your comments. I will be damned if I am just gonna sit here and let ANYONE criticize 'Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo' which was perhaps the finest breakdance movie title of all time. Who cares if it sucked and ruined breakdancing for a whole generation of kids. That TITLE was pure genius. Don't make me smack you again.

Dave King said...

Alas, I've not seen any of those!!!

Irisheyes said...

I'm going to have to agree with Indigo Wrath. What were you thinking? Just imagining YOU in a theatre watching "Sex in the City 2"? PRICELESS!!