Everywhere I look these days, the people I know are having a hard time, are bored, lonely, unfulfilled.
We can’t all be having a bad day at the same time, can we?
Maybe it’s an avalanche kind of thing: you know, where one person says one thing, someone else picks up the cry, and in no time at all we’re all agreeing that things are lousy.
“Sheesh but everything seems so blah lately.”
“I know. Me, too. I can’t sleep at night.”
“I just don’t seem to have any energy. Nothing seems like fun, you know?”
My own inertia, for example, lies in not trusting my own instincts. For instance, finishing off the pastries at 2:00 a.m. is rarely a good idea; a full night of drinking – no matter how much fun you had there, Bright Eyes – will be followed by a full day of recovery; and sitting in a dark room contemplating past mistakes and current headaches is likely to lead to self-criticism and limit the ability to recognize humor.
I should be avoiding all of these behaviors.
Then again, if I had been more mentally sound lately, I wouldn’t have been in the perfect frame of mind for my new favorite commercial.
Hi, I’m Roni DEUTCH.
Roni is a bankruptcy lawyer with TV ads, an intense, square-faced woman whose first line in the ad sets the tone for the rest of it: “Hi, I’m Roni DOITCH.” Roni is dead serious about providing you first-rate and aggressive representation, and the way she hits that last name is proof of it.
Oh, Roni, Roni, Roni. Your name stays in my head, in italicized CAPS, for hours afterward; my phone rings and I can barely restrain myself from answering “Hi, I’m Roni DOITCH”; I picture the Deutch Family Reunions, crowds of earnestly square-headed folk hitting that last name for all it’s worth.
Ahh. I feel better already, because the power of the monosyllabic “DOITCH” cheers me up, every time. Anytime I start feeling down, I think of my new girlfriend: Roni DOITCH.
You see that? There’s a break in the clouds already.
Bettered by Feathers
1 hour ago