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Sunday, June 6, 2010

For Cryin’ Out Loud, Sit Up Straight!

My posture’s been slipping in and out of alignment.

It doesn’t seem to be happening at work – which is to say I don’t believe anyone’s caught me yet – but I think it’s possible you could walk in on me slouched in a chair, perhaps slack-jawed, at home.

I hate to count the times I’ve found myself, lost in thought, looking just like that lately.

What? I was too lost in thought!

It doesn’t take long to go a bit soft, does it? I mean, I don’t know where I’ve been lately – it’s as if I’ve just woken up! – but suddenly I seem to be almost fifteen pounds heavier. Fifteen pounds. For cryin’ out loud, I’m gonna go up a size here, people!

I can’t afford that!

And not only am I hunchbacked, vacant-eyed, and doughy, but I’ve apparently opted for slug-like as well. I could even be described as “phlegmatic”. In the last month, I’ve grown crankier, lazier, heavier. Shoulders down, back bowed, I’ve recently found myself walking along, looking at the ground.

Me. The woman of whom it was once said, “she has lovely posture”.

Then again, I have found quite a bit of change.

So maybe there are some positive aspects. But no. This is serious. And now that I’m on to me?

I gotta sit up straight. I gotta find my spine again.

Shoot. Now I have to do something.


The Retired One said...

I suffer from the same ailments...sounds like part of a new set of the 7 dwarfs:
Doughy, Slouchy, Cranky, Lazy, Softy, Slacky, and Hunchy.
Actually, it is just the fun part of getting older.
Dontcha love it?

Anonymous said...

LOL @ Retired!

Trust me...other people don't see you like you see yourself, Pearly Girly.

You're beautiful!


a Broad said...

Ahhhh another Slouchy added to the list ... Shoulders back ! Suck in that gut !! Stop looking down !!
This is the little litany of the inner Drill Sergeant that is in my head these days.
You are young, you have not stiffened into the curled up shape of the very old and permanently slouched.. you can be saved !!
If you don't have the interest/energy for a dance class, just Pretend you are a Ballerina all the time .. head up, chin up .. back straight.. everything else falls into order.
Just don't get caught twirling in the halls at work ..

Sam Liu said...

I think we all have these sluggish times, I guess you just have to stay strong, be positive etc etc. Oh, and coffee helps. Lots of coffee.

powdergirl said...


No slouching Pearl, its not done. Slouching can destroy abs and ruin a spectacular ass.

Listen to the Broad, she knows of what she speaks : )

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Ah, you hunchbacks and your crazy talk. Isn't there a bell somewhere you need to be a ringin'. What I mean to say is that it's best that you accept the changes with some grace and dignity. If you fall down what does that mean for all of us already living on borrowed time?

beaux said...

My wife just found twenty dollars doing that yesterday sitting in the truck. Maybe it's not such a bad thing. Just think if you could do that all day long instead of working.

"Hey, what are you doing today?"

"Oh, you know...just laying around the house slouching. I might hit the library later."

CatLadyLarew said...

I worked with someone once who had perfect posture. It looked unnatural!

Tgoette said...

"Phlegmatic?" Wow, that sounds attractive! LOL! I feel ya', Pearl! I am at odds with the escessive gravitational pull on my ass. I need my dogs to drag me around the park a few hundred times to help me get in shape. Any shape. At this point, even oblong looks good.

Stop by, I have an award waiting for you!

Laoch of Chicago said...

It sounds like it is time for the dreaded yoga.

Simply Suthern said...

I think I am developing computer slouch. I type and realize I am bent over with shoulders drooping. As I straighten up every thing starts pop'in and crack'in. But proper posture does look a bit odd or I've just never seen it before.

Not The Rockefellers said...

you need a whalebone corset...that's all you need
and oh yeah, you need someone to tie it up in the back for you...

you're welcome

Peace ~ Rene

Joanna Jenkins said...

"Hunchbacked, vacant-eyed, and doughy". sounds like you're talking about me-- But you've got me sitting up straight (for the moment).

Have a great week,

The Jules said...

Have you started wearing purple?

That's when you need to worry.

Tempo said...

Ahh, reality check huh? We all have to do that from time to time Pearl...like being one's own best friend.
I'm a few times past mine now, and like an old car thats missed many regular services, it would do no real good wasting time on it now.

Roses said...

It's taken me years of abuse to have this posture (banana shaped) and this shape (round is a shape people, let's not forget that).

I will do something about both....when I get round to it.

Anonymous said...

'Phlegmatic' What an excellent word at any time. I must find an excuse to use it today. I used to date a woman who was a nurse and a tai-chi master and she was totally OC about posture and would regularly lecture me if I slouched. While the fringe benefits of her company were brilliant, I eventually grew weary of her admonitions. But, you know, she left me always conscious of my posture, even if she did leave me feeling a bit phlegmatic at times.

Anonymous said...

I sure hope you're ok today, Pearly Girly.


Madame DeFarge said...

Shove a coathanger in your jacket, that's what my gran always told me. And sometimes she did it just to make the point. Shoulders back and chest out.

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Pearl! I don't like to sound all Paul Simon, but I've also been getting a little soft in the middle. And man, my nights are so long. Indigo

mapstew said...

Me Too! Off to the gym. Tomorrow!

I AM! Tomorrow! :¬)


Deborah said...

OMG - twins separated and all that.

I am feeling this.

I'll be slouching from here on out!