I've been included in a Minnesota anthology "Under Purple Skies", now available on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I’m Pretty Sure All These People Wish Me Well

I’ve decided to take a vacation from worry this week, have decided that the best thing I can do for myself is to take people at face value.

And I can’t say for sure, but danged if I don’t feel better already. I don’t know. Maybe it’s my bland, cow-like expression. Maybe it’s my mad and impromptu bus-stop dancing skillz , or perhaps it’s more in line with willful ignorance, but I just can’t get over how popular my new attitude has made me.

Why, just Monday someone yelled, “Hey, lady! Help a guy out?” and I thought, oh, how nice. That young man can clearly see that I’m a charitable person. Probably something in the rakish tilt of my cap.

And so I did what any discerning woman in my position would do: I gave him a coupon for 50 cents off three cans of tomato sauce. Fifty cents! Why, if he plays his cards right on double coupon day he can parlay this little encounter into six cans of tomato sauce!

He thanked me profusely – at least I think he thanked me profusely. These kids and their street slang! When “bad” is “good” and “sick” is “great”, who can keep up? If this the-word-means-the-opposite-of-what-you-think-it-does phraseology holds up, well, let’s just say he considers me a kind and generous woman!

It was the same situation at the bus stop this morning. “Hey, lady? You got any change?”

Do you believe it? What a thoughtful young man! I assured him that I did, indeed, have change, and climbed onto the bus. How sweet of him though. We waved at each other as the bus pulled away. Well, I waved. His was more of a gesture, but still, it’s the fact that he made the effort that made me smile.

Yep. I’m quite enjoying my new attitude, and I think I’m going to like this little vacation.

19 comments:

BrokenSilences said...

Oh happy day! That sounds much like my everyday routine. Therapists call it sarcasm while I call it random ways to make it through the day syndrome. It's all in how you look at it. It's all in rationalization.

Chantel said...

Hah! Yes indeedy, it's the little guestures that make the day so sunny. Like when my mailman gives me the two fingered salute when I leave packages on the porch for him to pick up and carry along his route...I think he sincerely knows I'm trying to help him get into shape. His tub-o-lumpy-lard is smaller already! (it helps there there is a loooooong hill)

Pearl said...

Broken Silences, perception is reality!

Chantel, it's all about being of service to your fellow man. He'll thank you when he needs to tighten his belt!

Everyday Goddess said...

Face value works for me.

He gestured? How nice!

Unknown said...

Way to stay positive Pearl! You're making your world a better place, you know that? Happy Tuesday...

Simply Suthern said...

Like the Beverly Hillbillies, He's just giving you the California Howdy.

Glad today wernt my my day to take folks at face value or I'd be taking a trip to the netherworld. LOL

Irisheyes said...

Your positive energy is rubbing off on me too. I am a happier person just knowing that Jerry Lewis is willing to take public transportation like the rest of us!! Hey Lady!!

lisahgolden said...

I think your plan is a winner! I'm adopting it. My kids will be ever so pleased!

Leeuna said...

You may have a good idea with this face value thing. Maybe I'll give it a try. Considering that, it must have been that the guy on my bumper, honking his horn was just saying hello to me this morning. Bless his heart, that was nice of him, don't you think?

P.S. I gave you an award today. Come by my blog later and pick it up.

Frank Lee MeiDere said...

Great story, and nicely told. I think you're onto something here.

Back when I first moved to Toronto in '72, my girlfriend and I were down to our last few dollars, all of it in coins. So we took it with us to the corner of Wellesley and Yonge and asked passersby if they had any change. Whenever anyone said "No," which they invariable did, we'd say, "Do you want some?" and hand over a fistful of nickels and dimes until there were none left.

It was a fun way to be broke.

Jon said...

Ah this is the kind of thing we need more of. If only panhandlers here would smarten themselves up a bit and participate in the kind of cheery banter you guys get over there France would be a happier, more self-confident nation. As it is...

Cheeseboy said...

Well, I can see why you were nominated for a Blogitzer (I wish!), this is funny to the extreme Once I threw a half a hamburger from Wendy's at a begger off the side of the highway. Alas, I was much kinder back then.

Krëg said...

Your positive attitude sounds WAY more constructive and beneficial than my "Fuck The Doomed!" t-shirt.

furiousBall said...

i am handfarting the theme song to greatest american hero in your honor right now and my piano student is wondering why i'm doing that and commenting on blogs when i should be you know, teaching piano

Hilary said...

lol.. bon voyage. Enjoy the attitude trip. :)

Bossy Betty said...

You are bad, Pearl! Oh, I mean BBBAAAAADDDDDD!!! Your blog is sick, Baby!

I want a coupon for tomato sauce. What's a girl gotta do?

Cloudia said...

you are on a trail of discovery, Pearl
Aloha from Hawaii


Comfort Spiral

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Pearl! This is apropos of nothing, but there's a woman who works at my local Starbucks in Cambridge (UK) who looks uncannily like your profile picture. Is Minneapolis a smokescreen?! Why am I so scared that you might live round the corner?! Deep breaths, deep breaths. Indigo

Charlotte Ann said...

Once in New Orleans, a shabbily dressed fellow asked me for some money for food. Since I had just nabbed a sandwich, I offered it to him. He was nice enough to tell me where to go although I already had my day planned and couldn't accomodate his suggestion. I really think he was "thirsty" more then he was hungry. If that was the case, he shoulda asked as I had a Coke in my other hand. :=)