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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Some People Just Have It

My parents, back in the late 70s and during the time of the Purple People Eaters (the Minnesota Viking’s defensive line) hosted a number of Super Bowl parties.

The Vikings, by the way, have managed to play in quite a few Super Bowls but they have never managed to win one.

It was to one of these parties that my Aunt Pat and Uncle Mark brought their three kids, the youngest being Eric. Cousin Eric was, and is, a funny and deadpan person. At the age of four, however, he was primarily inclined toward running small toy cars up and over things.

“Vroom vroom vroom,” Eric ran the little car up and around the TV set, which in accordance with the times, was a large piece of furniture the size of a polished wooden Volvo.

As an aside, this will come as a surprise to some of you younger folk, but during my childhood, there was no remote control for the television, at least not as we know it today. “Remotes” back then were called “children”; and if you wanted to turn the volume in any direction you had only to give the command and the nearest child was required, by unwritten law, to do your bidding.

There was also no such thing as cable – at least not where we were from. It was a horrid, mean existence. Not many of us lived.

The little boy ran the car up and down the sides of the TV, and despite his mother's insistence that he "come away from there, Eric", he repeatedly found himself unable to comply for long. Sure, he'd step away. Eric wasn't a bad boy. But he always returned, his willpower drained by the pull of wheels, the pull of the TV screen that had everyone's attention.

My father, a man not particularly long-suited in patience, took as much as he could of Eric running that little red car perilously close to the television screen on Super Bowl Sunday and finally asked him, “Eric, how would you like to eat that car?”

Eric stopped what he was doing and considered it. Blinking solemnly he said, “I would not like to eat this car. But I would like to lick it.”


Even at four, Eric had it.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Eric, you're the best. I have a niece just like you...vintage hot wheels and all.

Emma @ Divorced Before 30 said...

Oh, that is just hilarious! Love him!

furiousBall said...

Eric is cooler than Fran Tarkenton and Alan Page put together

Gigi said...

Love that kid!! By the way, we didn't have a remote either and didn't it truly, truly suck when the dial broke off and you had to then change the channel using pliers? Or was that just us?

Everyday Goddess said...

That's the funniest thing I've read all day!

Kabbalah Rookie said...

Oh he definitely had it. Glad you survived to write this one down...

Sweet Cheeks said...

I did my time in remote control prison....as ordered by my bossy older brothers.

To get even, I used to stop on the channel that I wanted to watch, because I knew I had a few moments of viewing pleasure before my brothers would finally get up to 'make me' do it.

Then I'd scamper around them and steal their seat....ahhhh...it was good.

At least until the 'So...you think you're funny-do you?' part. That sucked.
=]

Tgoette said...

Ha ha! Kids are hilarious! The things that come out of their mouths never fails to amuse us. Great post!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Terrific! I would suspect that his sense of humor has helped him with any number of situations.

Bossy Betty said...

So funny! My parents TOTALLY used me as a remote control!!!

justsomethoughts... said...

wow. they just dont make many like that.

and maybe brett favre comes back again.
maybe.

then again....

Teena in Toronto said...

Great comeback!

Hilary said...

Too funny. I'll bet your Dad busted a gut with that. Evidently that sense of humour runs in your family.

Tempo said...

I wonder what your dad was thinking when the boy said that? ...was he thinking it was time to insert the toy car somewhere into Eric

Joanie M said...

Funny kid, that Eric!

Tony Spunk said...

Hilarious!

My folks used to have parties for just about any occasion around the same era, usually because my dad was a drunk mariachi who liked any excuse to open tequila and play his guitar around a bunch of people. But the superbowl was sacred. You only drank beer and you didn't interfere with the game or woe betide you.

Well except that one year where he spent the whole half time show chasing my aunt Lola around the basement with a rifle after he caught her banging one of his band on top of the deep freeze. Good times!

Eva Gallant said...

We not only didn't have a remote control, we didn't have tv 'til I was at least 12! How did we ever survive without video games, nickelodean, and Barney????