I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Friday, April 30, 2010

It Hardly Even FEELS Like Friday...

You may not know this, but I've been on a wee vacation this week. Sneaky, ain't I? But I'm back and ready to regale you with tales of South Florida and possible UFO sightings.

Just as soon as I've written them.

And it's Friday! I'm not at work today, but if I were -- if I were at work, what would the iPod have to say about it?

O iPod, bringer of grooves, creator of moods, given the time it takes to get to work, what would I have heard on the bus this morning?

Idiot Walk by The Hives
Who is He (and what is he to you) by Bill Withers
Immigrant Punk by Gogol Bordello
Why Don’t We Do It in The Road by the Beatles
Red Barchetta by Rush
The Wizard by Black Sabbath

Feisty immigrants, soul, and we’ll wrap it all up in the sludge-y darkness that is Black Sabbath.

O, Tony, Ozzie, Geezer, and That Other Guy! Why don’t you answer my fan mail?

Insert gleeful cackling here.

My friend Sandra and I have a love affair with words. It’s all on the up-and-up, I assure you. She finds me somewhat risible*, and I find her munificent**.

As I say, it’s all on the up-and-up.

The best part of the whole thing, of course, is that she’s as taken with the beauty of the English language as I am. We are free to be as geekily enchanted with it as we wish without receiving that face people sometimes give you when you use big words.

You know that face. The one that says, “Well, who do you think you are?”

There was a time, right around 10 or 11, when I purposely played dumb. As has been noted in the past, we moved a lot when I was a child, and so while every school was different, one aspect of it always remained the same: I was a good student.

What can I say? I inherited good hair, crooked bottom teeth, a small amount of low-grade anxiety, and a working brain.

I am satisfied with this.

At some point, however, I noticed a certain amount of derision that came my way whenever I raised my hand in class.

In one town in particular, my name was not “Pearl”. It was “Egghead”.

“Egghead”: Because sometimes, being smart is not so smart.

What little girl wants to be “Egghead”? I stopped raising my hand. I stopped arguing when things didn’t make sense to me. I purposely “threw” several tests in a row in order to convince my classmates that my earlier intelligence had been a fluke.

We lived there less than a year.

I didn’t miss that town.

But I was sorry to leave my one friend there behind. I hope her friendship with me didn't affect her reputation for long.

Have a great weekend, everyone – I’m off in search of funny, kind-hearted people, big words, and delicious lime-flavored, salt-rimmed drinks.

* laughable
** generous


ellen abbott said...

I went to private school up through middle school when I begged my parents to send me to public school. But the private school was big on vocabulary. I still find myself using words I didn't know I know.

sage said...

Probably a good thing you were only in that town for a year--We moved twice when I was a kid--once right before I started school and again right before I entered the 4th grade. I think I still suffer scars from that move. Enjoy your drink.

Moannie said...

I moved eleven times when I was a kid, and I never had a friend..boohooo! But I got through it and came out ok I think, thanks to my imagination and by being a Pollyanna.

furiousBall said...

I still don't know karate, that that for what it's worth.

Yodood said...

I find you eminently piquant.

Sweet Cheeks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sweet Cheeks said...

Pearl...your love of the English language is your lovable foible.

(I hope your get away was simply smashing!)

Pat said...

Rats...I went and looked up risible and munificent as soon as I read them, even though I was pretty sure about munificent, and then there were the definitions at the end! I like big words, too, and taught them to my sons, but they hide that knowledge sometimes so as to blend in.

Greenfingers said...

You have a fun weekend Pearl.
And Sabbath? I should have known!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Isn't it grand having a friend with whom you can say WHATEVER you WANT?

mapstew said...

Isn't it funny that the term for the fear of big words is Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia?

Have a good weekend! :¬)


Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

It is my dream to one day join you for those salty rimmed drinks. We are both missing out I fear.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Drinks and big words waiting for ya on a deck in Northern NJ..because that's how this NH transplant rolls on vacay, heh.

feastly...that's how we used to describe hot guys.."he's not beastly, he's feastly"

Just So You Know: I don't say that anymore.

Peace ~ Rene

Bossy Betty said...

Aren't you glad you are Word Girl! You rock!!!

Tempo said...

I was never smart enough to need to play dumb...it was hard enough playing smart...
Party on Pearl

rakkasa said...

Ah, yes, big words... Obfuscation does have its place... but sometimes big words are simply luscious!

Marvin D Wilson said...

"... I’m off in search of funny, kind-hearted people, big words, and delicious lime-flavored, salt-rimmed drinks."

Love your style and your blog. Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog yesterday. I will be back. :)

The Old Silly

Leeuna said...

I too am a word-lover and I made straight A's in English. However, my math grades were deplorable so that kept my overall grade low enough to escape the "egghead" moniker.