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Thursday, April 1, 2010

I’m Gonna Need a Cape and A Sidekick…

In the last couple weeks, someone has been taping “fun facts” to the stall walls in the bathrooms at work.

It started out, I’m relatively sure, as an attempt at being helpful.

“Skim milk before bedtime is proven to induce sleep.”

“Early morning stretches enrich the muscles with blood.”

Normally, these would not be the reading materials I’d reach for whilst indulging in a “bio break”; but get it while you can, as I always say.

As one might suspect, however, what starts with only the best of intentions has been hijacked and someone has taken it upon themselves to tape, willy-nilly, their ramdom and sometimes completely irrelevent thoughts.

Who would do that?

Some of them, of course, speak to the reality of many of our current and soon-to-be former co-workers: You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Some of them may only be speaking to me: "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this – ever.

And some of them speak to all of us: Perhaps it’s time you lowered your expectations.

I appreciate this person’s attempts to bring a little levity into our work day.

I just wonder who it is…

26 comments:

powdergirl said...

I have a really nice costume cape I can loan you, and I'd also like to apply for the position of 'side-kick' : )

Pearl said...

powdergirl -- if that IS your real name :-) -- you have been my sidekick for quite some time. Perhaps you didn't receive the memo?

Hmmm. This may explain why you have not been at the meetings...

savannah said...

there's always some wiseass in the office, sugar!

oh wait,

oh my,

bless your heart! ;~D xoxoxox

(wear a black cape, darlin, it's so classic!)

Pearl said...

Savannah, and I DO look good in black. Hmm. I'm thinking black velvet, maybe with rhinestones...

Simply Suthern said...

Nothing like Toliet Truths to help guide your day. Check the office supply person and see who has been requesting lots of extra paper and tape.

Pat said...

I'm guessing it's a blogger whose name starts with P, just a gut feeling.

Scott said...

But stretching in the morning is so hard when you're tired and lazy.
But mostly tired.
Not a morning person, right here.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

What a brilliant way to throw the scent off yourself and only someone else. Only you could not resist being pithy during one of your bio breaks, no reading materials and at least 20 minutes to kill - out comes the sharpie. Preach fibre next time girl and colonoscopies. Every little bit helps.

Amber Star said...

Does anyone know what all...operative word is all of those little symbols on the care tag means? I do understand the DRY CLEAN ONLY one. It is sort of confusing to me when there is a slash across an icon I don't recognize!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

That makes me laugh--I'd look for them every day!

mapstew said...

We have a sign in our downstairs loo,

'Please, Do Not Put Anything Into This Toilet Unless It Has Been Eaten First'! :¬)

(Black Velvet? And Rhinestones? Waaay too heavy, take it from someone who knows! You'll never get away!) :¬)

xxx

Simply Suthern said...

Seems to me like Pearl the Potty Guardian and her trusty sidekick Stool Softener would have capes made of toilet paper. Of course they would be on a roll in case they tore thru at a bad time. And when they are through it's back the the secret Outhouse.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I got nothing but thought I'd better not stalk. Your readers are almost as clever as you! Love it!

The Good Cook said...

Potty Cams are illegal. Just a friendly reminder.

Mandy's Kidding said...

That does crack me up. I'm surprised you're not putting some up there yourself.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

That is too funny - I love the one that we need to lower our expectations. I laughed out loud knowing it came from a work bathroom stall.

Teena in Toronto said...

It's funny that someone would take the time to do it.

mrwriteon said...

I think you are privileged with these. Philosophy in a can, as it were.

Daphne said...

I love this. I want to be the culprit at my work...

Tempo said...

"black velvet, maybe with rhinestones"... and what will your catch cry be?
"hunka, hunka burning love?"..."you aint nothing but a hound dog!"
..I have a sick sence of humour so I'd be copying the writing style and putting up completely 'out there' statements..

Flea said...

Hmm. It could be anyone, I'm sure. Just anyone. It could be the person in the cubical next to you. It could be your boss. Why ... why ... it might even be YOU, Pearl!

No. That just couldn't be.

In college I posted comic strips on the stall walls.

Zaedah said...

WAIT... I've got a secret identity all lined up, so pick me!!!

Isn't it nice to have a laugh while engaging in activities they never show on television. I mean, don't those coffee-chugging FBI agents ever have to go?

Scrappy Doo said...

"You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day."

Pearl,
The observation of the truth "You" have is so spot on!

Tgoette said...

I hope whoever it is that is responsible wears the cape with a sexy Vampirella-esque costume made up of a bikini bottom and two strategically placed thin ribbons of fabric.

Oh, and I am so down with being your...I mean, the...sidekick!

P.S. Your secret is safe with me!

CatLadyLarew said...

Love Mapstew's comment! If I lived closer, I'd be happy to be your sidekick. I'm pretty good at sneaking in and out of bathrooms.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I'd throw a hidden camera in there if I were you.