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Monday, April 5, 2010

If I Had to Rate the Days...

Mondays are among the more tiresome of the weekdays, don’t you think?

These are the days when the bed has never been quite so comfortable, the kitties quite so adorable, the looming work week quite so, oh, I don’t know – duty-driven.

Don’t get me wrong. I love working, as is required by all Midwesterners; but I can’t help but wonder: Is this all there is?

Surely others are fulfilled by their careers, yes?

Let’s see.

Perhaps I’m doing this wrong.

Get up early. Leave where you’d like to be, follow through on your agreement to rent your brain out by the hour, return home to find that everything you’ve not done there remains, mysteriously, undone; and then, as the plastic bottle says, rinse and repeat.

What am I missing?

Perhaps if there were costumes involved. I’m thinking clown suits on Monday – or perhaps clown suits on payday would be more apropos. What about Cowboy Tuesdays? Come As Your Favorite Ninja Wednesdays? Ball Gown Thursdays?

And is it too late to bring back drinking alcohol in the office on Friday afternoons?

I suspect it is.

It used to be almost commonplace, you know.

At any rate – but particularly at this one – I shall soon be reconsidering my stance on subsistence farming as a career path.

Doesn’t that sound nice?

I’m going to need a tractor, a shack (preferably one with a sauna and separate quarters for the servants), and a herd of chickens.

You see?

I’m going to put as much thought into my forthcoming career as a farmer as I did in my current career.


Kurt said...

The key to happiness is not getting drunk at work. It's slipping roofies into the coffee pot at 6:00 AM. My co-workers are HILARIOUS!

De Campo said...

We used to have Ninja Wednesdays until we were actually attacked by ninjas on a Wednesday.

That was confusing.

And messy.

Pearl said...

Excellent start to my day. I laughed aloud at both of your remarks. :-)

Deborah said...

I agree about the alcohol. I want to work for Don Draper.

Baglady said...

If you want booze on a Friday move to Australia. It's the norm there.

I think Tuesdays are worse than Mondays - they pretend to be nice but actually they're not. They're like Mondays but with no conversations about the weekend and without the ton of work to catch up with that makes a Monday go so fast. IMHO.

Pearl said...

Deborah, LOL!

Baglady, Australia, you say? :-)

Little Ms Blogger said...

I can honestly say when I was employed, I never got it. Never loved it when I saw so many passionate about what they did. I strived to do my best, but hated what I did. However, nothing came to me of what I felt I should or wanted to do.

Still searching.

Mr London Street said...

"Get up early. Leave where you’d like to be, follow through on your agreement to rent your brain out by the hour, return home to find that everything you’ve not done there remains, mysteriously, undone; and then, as the plastic bottle says, rinse and repeat."

is as good a summary of quotidian existence as I've read. If my employers viewed what they were doing as renting my brain out I have a sneaking feeling they'd have asked for their money back by now.

Simply Suthern said...

Actually I dread Friday's. I spend the week working myself into a fever pitch to get something done and the whistle blows and I am out of time. Then come Monday it's time to make the donuts again.

powdergirl said...

Mmmmmargarita Mondays!!!

That concept could turn your work life 360 degrees into awesome.

Think about it!

"Yesh shir! I'll have that on your deshk firsht thing after I find my shalt shaker, you wanna dansh?"

Jimmy Bastard said...

Friday afternoon is what the working man lives for. A creamy black pint and a small golden glass more than pays for the hours slogged during the week.

Yodood said...

All modes of coping with the mistake of working to maintain membership in a culture designed to commodify the environment and human nature are wiggling in the quicksand of self deluding profit - see. Ha ha silly people, anyway.

Subsistence farming require regaining respect for nature, the environment and one's own.

Ms Sparrow said...

Before I retired, I hated Mondays so much, I couldn't sleep on Sunday nights. Now Mondays are my favorite day of the week!

Irish Gumbo said...

I'll be happy to bring you some beer at the office, I'll disguise it as ginger ale or something.

But...my dear Pearl...how can I say this gently...if you want to a farmer...its flock> of chickens, not herd. If you say "herd of chickens", the response is usually "Of course I've heard of chickens, whattaya think I'm stupid?" heehee.

MJenks said...


I wish there was more I could inject into the conversation, but you pretty much summed up the last...oh...three months...of my life perfectly.



Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Wait, they've done away with alcohol in the office?!?

IndigoWrath said...

Hey Pearl! My career was a total drift decision. I just sideways'd into it because I was good at it, with no thought as to whether I wanted to DO it for forty years. As for Mondays, the UK had a public holiday today, so Tuesday is the new Monday. Well, this week anyway. And I have Friday off. Damn, almost halfway there! Indigo

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

We do Ninja Wednesdays here. No one's a fan of Screaming Mimi Mondays, though.

Kevin Musgrove said...

Ooh... Sunday nights! )-:

Subsistence farming is cool so long as they let you have a tractor and a pickup in your cubicle.

Teena in Toronto said...

I'm not a fan of Mondays ... unless I have them off.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I think you just refuse to wear the Batgirl outfit all day long complete with the photo essay that goes with it and that is what is bumming out my Mondays (well, mine too) You got the yoga chops to pull it off baby. Shock those bus monkeys and get everything you want from the bosses and the office monkeys. I do have a birthday coming up in June Kitty Kat. :)

Flea said...

Pearl! You're a sooooooper jeanyus! Costumes for work! I think I'm going to do that regardless of what management says. My belly dancing costume will be first.

Nuke Girl said...

Hey, look at the bright side... at least you rent your brain out by the hour instead of the GD year! And costumes are exciting at first (read: I thought wearing a uniform was supercool when I first joined the Navy) but after a while you realize it doesn't drown out the fact that you're still. at. work. Ugh.

(Although I bet if I showed up in a Sexy Sailor Girl Costume a la Christina Aguilera instead of a No-Shit Sailor Girl Uniform a la Admiral Grace Hopper, they'd probably be much nicer to me!) :P

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

Rinse, lather, repeat - boy ain't it the truth! I realized that I've been working almost continuously for the last 35 YEARS, bar the occasional all-too-brief maternity leave, and the rare period of unemployment. The only reason I haven't gotten a gold watch is because it hasn't been all at one place, which is kind of a gyp if you ask me!