Everything in Ireland, claims an acquaintance, comes with a side of potatoes.
“Even the potatoes,” she claims, “come with a side of potatoes.”
I have no idea if that’s true. The menus of Ireland are a mystery to me.
But it did get me thinking, as these things are wont to do.
It’s common that some things on the menu come with other things. For instance, in the U.S., sandwiches come with potato chips and a pickle. Hamburgers normally come with fries and a pickle. And a Bloody Mary comes with a beer shot (also known as a “snit”, a “bump”, or “that worthless tiny glass of third-rate beer”).
And a pickle.
Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to the snit of the ‘00s: ranch (buttermilk) dressing.
Everything comes with a side of ranch!
“Have you tried pizza dipped in ranch? It’s really good!” enthused the chubby little gal that brought me my slice of pizza.
I had to admit that I hadn’t.
“Oh, yeah. Ranch is good with everything: pizza, poured over potatoes, chicken wings, jalapeno poppers…”
“Raw vegetables?” I said, smiling.
“That would be good, too, I’ll bet!”
Now, I’m not here to besmirch the good name of ranch dressing. I’ve no doubt that, like bacon wrapped in a waffle, breaded and deep fried, covered with Béarnaise sauce and served atop a laundry basket full of fried potatoes, that ranch dressing is quite tasty served with just about anything.
I have just one question.
Does a side of ranch come with a pair of pants the next size up?
A Meeting in the Meeting
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