Yep. You heard it here first.
But how will I do it? Through honest toil? Through inheritance? Through clever investments?
Through felonious activities?
Nope. Lean in real close now, because once people hear about this, it’ll be pandemonium.
I don’t know why no one’s thought of this before. The secret to my get-rich-quick scheme?
The working man’s welfare!
The cardboard crack!
See, it all started with ten dollars in pull tabs for my birthday from The Boy’s girlfriend Dream Girl.
Having cleverly recovered $3 from Dream Girl’s $10 investment, I bought three more pull tabs.
Of the three new tickets, I made $5. I quickly parlayed that five dollars into a one-dollar winner but am confident that the big winning ticket – the one that I will buy with this remaining dollar, the one that frees me from working for, um, maybe up to a week – is within my grasp.
From there, I take that money and invest in lottery tickets. The PowerBall is up to 107 million.
I can get by on that.
You smell what I’m cooking?
3 hours ago