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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Claim This Bus in the Name of France

Monday was Martin Luther King Day; and while I, personally, am scheduled to work five days a week until three days after my death, it appears, by the look of the bus, that everyone else had the day off.

I try not to be bitter.

Now, I know it’s a holiday that only postal workers, banks and schools, from what I can tell, receive benefit, yet it was a shock to climb on to the bus Monday morning and be only its fourth inhabitant.


Not only do I have my own seat, but there’s room for a parlor, a large dog and a walk-in humidor.

Finally. A walk-in humidor...

There are precious few amenities on a bus, as I'm sure you're aware; but now that I’ve got room to expand a little, I’m quite excited about the ride to yoga tonight and have big plans.

What do you think? We knock out the whole front area. I want to see wheel-to-wheel carpeting, curtains, maybe a glass roof just to give it a more expansive feel.

On-site seated massage!

Dinner mints on every seat!

Complimentary elbow bleaching!

It’s ridiculous how keyed up I get about the end of a work day on a holiday.

You just know the ride to yoga Monday night was sweet.


Sweet Cheeks said...

At any time did you get on the bus (with only a handful of people) and think...what if everybody else in the world is gone? It's just me and these 3 idiots left? Like, maybe zombies got everyone else and you might have to break into your canned soup food stash at work to survive....I was just thinking that.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

I love the idea of on board massage! That would make every day a little more wonderful!

mapstew said...

There's a book, or at the very least a sit-com, waiting to be made about your bus! :¬)


Ms Sparrow said...

Only the hardiest of Minnesotans get to work on holidays, dear Pearl. You are among the Elite Indispensible. We salute you!

Jess said...

Hells to the effin yeah a humidor! I think we all need to enjoy a fresh cigar before yoga or any other healthful activities. The same as I feel about eating Mexican after walking...better yet, let's walk to the Mexican food place...but naturally have someone pick us up...entirely too full to walk back.

Pearl said...

:-) I think about being the last person on the planet ALL THE TIME! Don't think I haven't played THAT game, where I look at the people left on the bus and think "this is it. this is humanity -- now who's going to do the heavy lifting and how soon can we steal an RV and drive to Florida?"

A sitcom about the bus. :-) Actually, that's a pretty funny idea. -- the 30-minute ride to work, the "core" of regulars, the whispered conversations and elaborate day-dreams that we engage in...

Massages are wonderful no matter where they take place, and Mexican food? Um, yes. Please. :-)

I am proud to be at the very center of the tax-paying base. Now where the !@#$ is my statue?!

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Wow, and here I was imagining my anonymity being stripped from me and the three other riders picking me over for their blog fodder.

Quick, someone hand me some happy pills, or chocolate covered espresso beans.

lisleman said...

Dinner mints on every seat - I don't think that one is going to fly. It would just be smashed candy stuck to your backside. But your other ideas - yeah make the city bus like a tour bus.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

The saddest thing is that today you will be telling everyone on the 'magical mystery tour' that is your commute just how much better everything was without them. Of course that will make them all realize how much nicer things were without you as they push you out at the next stop. I never tire of these tales from the heaven that is your bus trip. And I have had those bus seat mints...at least I think that's what they were.

f8hasit said...

That's not cool. You've been reduced to a 4 day work week and yet, you have to work on a day that everyone else is off.


Vic said...

I'd be willing to trade the humidor for massage chairs and maybe some aromatherapy (I hate diesel fumes).

I think if it were the end of the world that bus would have made you queen. Queen Pearl of Mass Transit. I'm going to make you a sash.

justsomethoughts... said...

some SOB took my mint
i hate that

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

if it'll make you feel better, I was at work too!

Dream ChYmEc!nDy** said...

great post. love your blog..


mapstew said...

Can I be in the pilot? (I can do ANY bald Irish singer parts!) :¬)


Debbie said...

sorry you had to work on a holiday..but glad it gave you this post that made us all smile!

gaf85 said...

I love your humor. Aren't busses great though for people watching, on a non holiday of course.

My guess is you write exactly how you talk (which is what I do too, less affectation).

I'll definitely be back for a laugh.

Cloudia said...

Wheel to wheel carpeting, LOL!

Sounds roomier than my boat (home)

Aloha, Friend!

Comfort Spiral

powdergirl said...

Haven't touched a drop of work in ages! I might start filling my time just riding around on public transport, no destination, no schedule.

Im gonna be a Bus Gypsy!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Pearl, Did you check out Mr London Street today? He also posted an amusing bus story. The two of you have very distinct styles but you both make me laugh out loud. How about a combined effort, an international book of funny bus stories!

Gadjo Dilo said...

Are you sure the empty bus wasn't due to a re-enactment of the Montgomery Bus Boycott as part of the celebration of civil rights?

Mone said...

Complimentary elbow bleaching!! Wow that would be service :D

Pearl said...

mmm, bus massages.

bus comic: http://boxbrown.com/?p=717

Jennifer said...

My favorite posts you write are you and your bus rides.