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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Your Body Called. You Want I Should Take A Message?

I don’t know what I have against my body.

And no, that’s not a country-western song.

No, I want to know why I wait until the last possible moment before I pay attention to its needs.

Consider my usual delay in using the facilities at work. I’m just going to do this one more thing, just this one more thing – ooh, wait, there’s the phone. And what? You need a meeting? OK, I can do that, too.

Next thing you know, something that hasn’t happened since I was but a child is imminent and it’s all I can do to keep from wetting myself.

I blame my family, of course.

Ever take a road trip with my Dad? The object, other than topping the last trip’s mileage, is to have no stops between departure and arrival. You what? You need to use the bathroom? Didn’t you use the bathroom this morning? We’re making great time here, can’t you wait until the hotel? We should be there by the time the sun sets…

If I were you, I wouldn’t get the Big Gulp before you leave with my Dad.

I have the same problem with eating.

Now, those who know me know that I am a big fan of eating. Having been raised by people who practice the from-scratch method of cooking, it’s only right that I should be something of a snob regarding food. This is not to say that I don’t eat fast food or eat meals that came out of a box, but given my druthers, I’d much prefer that the food come hot off the stove.

Preferably right after someone else has prepared it.

So why is it late afternoon and I haven’t eaten yet?

Driven by obligation: Must fold clothes. Must vacuum. Must pry kitty from top of door frame. Must check Facebook one more time…

So why don’t I just stop what I’m doing and have a little something to eat?

Dagnab it! I swear. I keep this up, and I’m telling.

I’m not kidding this time.

I’ve had it with me.


Anonymous said...

I do the exact same thing. I'm much older and should really know better, but.....maybe it's that what I'm doing is so much more interesting than what I should be doing?
I heard several years ago about a procrastinator's club. I'm going to think about joining one of these days.

Amber Star said...

I wish for food prepared by someone else in our kitchen, too, but my husband really isn't all that he could be in that department. He does make really good scrambled eggs, though.

I've started putting away some of the Christmas stuff....but am pretty sure it is time for a break.

Happy New Year, Pearl...hope yours is wonderful and mine, too.

f8hasit said...

I hear you. My desire to multi-task sometimes overcomes my need for the basics. Like eating (although you'd think I'd be a twig) and using the restroom...

My family teased me that I could write a travel guide on the bathrooms across America. My dad swears I stopped at every. single. one. when we'd be on family road-trip vacations.

Happy New Year!

Brian Miller said...

yep, been there...i forget really...but i do think it would make a great country and western song...as long as you can fit momma, jail...

Lori E said...

I don't skip the bathroom breaks if at all possible.
If I walk to the coffee shop in the morning to meet my coffee group it takes me 30 minutes. I shave a good 5 minutes off that walk on the way home because I always have to pee really bad. No time to stop and get the mail or pet the dog. Go,go,go. I drop my coat and keys on the way in the door. My pants are half way down in the hallway. Whew. Close call.
Now skipping a meal just isn't something I do. There is nothing I am accomplishing that is more important. Not brain surgery, not world peace, not sleeping. Housework? Don't make me laugh. I would never skip a meal over housework.

Beth said...

Being a teacher taught me to wait until my eyes were floating before going. My husband is consistently impressed by the girth of my bladder. And I am consistently dismayed that he has to comment on it.

Go eat. You need it to keep up your strength.

Jayne Martin said...

I'm the same way. Especially, with eating. Which reminds me. I'm hungry.

Happy New Year, Pearl

secret agent woman said...

I have that problem with eating, especially. I will suddely really I'm shaky and light-headed and suddenly I need food instantly.

powdergirl said...

Oh God, were you traveling with my Dad, I used to get car sick as a kid, he roll down the rear window in the station wagon for me to chuck chow on down the highway till my Mom got in a good back hand.

I also wait till I'm near an embarrassing moment to answer natures call to the porcelain, but that comes from working on construction sites.

And eating? Who eats till they're close to passing out?

We may be living in parallel universes, Pearl, and there's no one I'd rather share a parallel with. Or a beer for that matter.

All the best in 2010 to you and yours.

justsomethoughts... said...

i have that same relationship with my bladder

it was considered the most manly-est thing to do - to driv 500 miles without a pit stop.
i've grown some but still put it off till the last minute
i hope i dont poison myself...

Gregory said...

resembles my situation, eat, wait I have one more blog post, yes check that pos dating site, go to facebook (if my email tells me to) email, sheeze what a slave driver... oh laundry... shoot I forgot to eat again, sometimes I end up having red wine FOR dinner, not WITH dinner, :)

Anonymous said...

Take it slow, Pearl, make it last. Tomorrow is another year!


The Jules said...

I know what you mean.

I haven't had a poo for three years.

Douglas said...

The Jules pretty much topped it all, din't he? (no, I didn't misspell that!)

I am the only guy in my golf crowd (some call them "leagues", we more closely resemble mobs) to not stop to water the shrubbery along the way. And, yeah, I have gone 400 miles without a, um, pit stop. Try that on a motorcycle sometime.

mapstew said...

Join the gang missus! Join the feckin' gang!


Joanie M said...

I hear you on the bladder issue. One word... Depends.

Ann's Rants said...

I swear, one year I had to make a new years resolution to "Pee When I Have To"

I've actually stuck to it. Pretty much.

Pearl, you're not on twitter much and now I fear you never knew of this http://cupcake10.blogspot.com/

It's next weekend right outside Madison. Probably way too late, but it only costs $20, and I sure love to meet you.

Happy New Year!

The Retired One said...

Forget to eat???????
Sorry....that is just a foreign concept to me...
and if you saw me, you'd know that (pa-dump-dum!)

I have forgot to pee tho....and then do the dance all the way down to the bathroom. They really should have remote control seats so they'd flip up in time for you ahead of time....