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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Season’s Greetings from the Grabowskis!



Greetings, Friends and Family; and a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Joyous Winter Solstice, and a Holy Crap where has the time gone?!

Seems like only yesterday I was saying to Hal, “Hal, where does the time go?”

There’s so much to tell you!

First of all, I’m sure many of you have heard of the tragic loss of Mr. Boots, Sniffer, and Whozat. We honor their memory by posting, once more, their last photo together, which the bright-eyed among you might recognize as the cover of last year’s Christmas letter.

Mr. Boots, Sniffer and Whozat met their end when they finally caught the family of raccoons that have been plaguing our garbage cans. Honestly, who knew that raccoons got that big? And such fighters!

Mr. Boots, Sniffer and Whozat will be sorely missed.

Secondly, Hal finally took that early retirement that he’s always threatened me with. Ha! Ha! Honestly, it’s like having a little kid in the house again. Thank God for the computer or I don’t know what that man would do with his spare time! I hear him in there, muttering under his breath at all hours of the night and day and gosh but who knew he was such a cat lover? We’ve never had nothing but dogs and suddenly it’s “pussy” this and “pussy” that. I’m just so grateful for his sudden interest in felines, because outside of that the man seems to have no hobbies at all. I keep telling him, “Hal, if you don’t come out of there, I’m going to have the firemen break the door down!” but you know how Hal is! I guess he’ll come out when he gets hungry! Ha! Ha!

Oh, and good news! Hal Jr. is back living at home and half-way through his fifth year of community college. Thank heavens the boy finally seems to have developed an interest in something; and for cryin’ out loud, would you believe it’s music? That boy is just so darn secretive but I’m just relieved that he’s showing an interest in something. It’s all he seems to talk about! I overheard him on the phone just the other night, and it seems he’s been blowing a skin flute! I'm just so excited! As you probably recall, I played clarinet in high school; and now my little boy is playing a woodwind as well!

Now, I realize that my little holiday note finds you just days before Christmas, but if anyone knows where I could find a used flute, please give me a call! It’s been years since I could find Junior something he was actually interested in, and wouldn’t he be surprised if his ol’ Mom turned out to be cool after all!

Speaking of music, we have more than one musician in the family it seems! That’s right, Hal thought it was a waste of time, but that year of tap in elementary school was just the ticket and our little Tina’s dancing career is finally taking off! Not that I’ve seen her perform since, what? the second grade?, but it’s my understanding that she is now a “Pole Dancer”. Imagine! I’m just so proud of her exploring her heritage. And the money she’s pulling in! Like I said to her just the other day, who knew there was a career path for ethnic dancing?

And me? Oh, you know me! I keep busy. Seems I’m the only one around here who knows how to wash a plate or put the lid down on the toilet! Still, I can’t complain, cuz who would listen, am I right?! I’ve got my online taxidermy courses to keep me busy, not to mention the driveway resurfacing business is still lucrative. Somebody’s got to support this family!

Am I right?

Well, that’s all for this year. Hugs and kisses to everyone!

Hoping this finds you healthy and happy,

The Grabowskis
Hal, Arneatha, Hal Jr., and Tina

34 comments:

Lori E said...

It is early in the morning here and I got part way through before I realized you was funnin' us.
I am glad your family is doing so well.
I read this out loud to my husband. He groaned and that is a good response from him. I think it is hysterical.
But now I feel a little bad that my family isn't doing quite as well this year.
Merry Christmas you crazy person.

The Jules said...

I have a pink oboe that needs dusting off.

Pearl said...

Lori, sorry for teasing you so early in the morning! :-)

Pearl said...

Jules, shall I put you in touch with Hal Jr, then? :-)

Ms Sparrow said...

How sweet of Arneatha Grabowski to send a Christmas letter. What a dear thing she is! May she continue to celebrate her family's accomplishments in future Holiday letters.

powdergirl said...

I could so easily picture this proud Mom!

Ethnic dance, on-line taxidermy course....

I laughed out loud, for real.

Thanks, Pearly Whirly Girl, that was precious :-)

Powder

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Best. Christmas Card Newsletter. Ever.

Pearl said...

Ms. Sparrow, that Arneatha's a silly woman with a heart of gold. :-)

Powdergirl, :-) She's delightfully obtuse, iddin she?

mjenks, why, thank you!

savannah said...

thanks for the tuesday giggles, sugar! xoxox

Barbara Blundell said...

Is an irish Tin Whistle anything in your line ? R .has one in need of a loving home ( He doesn't know this himself yet )
Happy Christmas , Pearl !

Douglas said...

So heartening to know the Grabowskis are not just another dysfunctional family. Makes you feel all warm inside. I think I've even seen Tina dance a time or two. She'd make her mama proud, I'm sure.

Kurt said...

I think all the best Christmas letters are about "pussy". Kittens are adorable! So are vaginas!

Brian Miller said...

online taxidermy...nice. so did you use it for the dogs? lol.

Menopausal New Mom said...

Cute picture you painted for us of life at your house. Too funny! Have a wonderful Holiday with your family!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Think I saw Tina perform the other day, very educational.

justsomethoughts... said...

RIP Mr. Boots, Sniffer and Whozat
there are no racoons in heaven

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Wow, the pride comes shining through.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I got a few paragraphs in and I was shaking my head like "Oh no, what jerks, those raccoons. I just bet they got the little one first."

And then I was like, "Oh no, Pearl, Hal is looking at porn in there! you've got it all wrong!!"

And then I smacked myself upside the head.

sage said...

Should I really be laughing this hard... Good Christmas letter!

Jenny said...

I almost stalled completely trying to figure out how raccoons took out 3 whole dogs. haha.

Fun post :)

Irish Gumbo said...

I like cats, too. They are so darn cute and fuzzy! Not so keen on them when they bite, though.

Does Pole Dancing involve accordions? That would be cool.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

You. Are. A Pisser!

My name is PJ. said...

That Arneatha goes to the time and effort to keep us all updated with her family's yearly adventures is further evidence of her thoughtfulness.

After all, any mom who would go to all that trouble to find her son a used flute just so he could pursue his passion is thoughtfulness personified!

Secretia said...

You had me looking out the window for the damn raccoons!

Secretia

Jayne Martin said...

This may just be the best damn family holiday letter I've ever read. Oh, Pearl... you've done it again.

Merry Christmas

mapstew said...

As our JIMMY will tell ye, I was never fond of the flute!

Being a non christian (of 2) in a five strong family, I am increasingly finding this christmas thing.. well... a lot of bother!

What with the kids grown up (we still have our 'baby' youngest is 11!) and the teens getting more into science, well religion is quickly going out the door! Not quick enough for my liking, but oyvey!!!

Have a good Thistime!

What a fuckin' cute pic though!

xxx

Amber Star said...

My computer locked up while your page was loading and I just went on about my business. When I got back to read this tonight. I got to the raccoons and felt so sorry for you. Our cat did get some vicious wounds from one. Took a long time for her to heal too. Took a lot of dough to the vet, too. None of that is a joke.

It was about the part where your husband was shouting about the cats I started to get it. It was a very funny Christmas letter and just as good as the ones I get about which kid did what and how they are all so bright.

I don't come by your blog often, but it is worth it when I do finally get here.

Merry Christmas, Pearl.

Kavi said...

Wishes for a very happy christmas and a wonderful new year ahead !

:)

Kevin Musgrove said...

I hear Hal Jr. is also a virtuoso on the cottage upright

Prosy said...

I would make fun of the picture of the dogs dressed up in the nativity, but we took a picture of our dogs dressed up like santa and the reindeer a few years ago, so I guess I'm not allowed to.

rakkasa said...

I swallowed my chewing gum...

SUEB0B said...

The photo is by my friend Ken Wise. He says he sees it all over the place. Its original title is "Fleas Navidog."

bettyl said...

Glad you all have kept busy this year...and found such wonderful careers! Thanks for the laughs. Keep 'em coming!

Sandy said...

Scared the crap outa me about the dogs vs. racoons. Funny.....kinda